Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
am I getting the idea?
2007-06-25 20:10:13 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
(with apologies to whoever wrote this Cliff notes guide to the bible :)
2007-06-25 21:26:09 · update #1
Well, that's certainly it in a nutshell (an appropriate receptacle) according to the Bible - although there's also the talking bush, talking donkey, plus God's multiple episodes of genocide and repeated commands to hurt and kill people.
Best question I've read all day! :-)
2007-06-25 20:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by gelfling 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
When referring to Jesus, have you herd the term "SON of God"? Son, as in offspring. Do you believe there are people that can read your mind, read your palm, read cards as to your past, present and future="fortune tellers"? Some people trust such people but can't believe God can do the same and more? Wow. God is omnipresent. Look up the word if you don't understand its meaning. These qualities just stress the power of God. God can hear, and act , upon prayer. You mention a person being Jewish. What difference does it make? It's the action, the result, that matters and not the race of a person. Hitler-German. Would it make any difference if he were Russian but did the vcery same thing he did as a German? Niel Armstrong-white, American. Would it mean he wasn't the first person to walk on the moon if he had been black, from England?? It's the person, not the race. Magical tree? Adam/Eve had one rule to follow. The rule? Not to eat the fruit of one given tree. God allowed them to be tempted and they broke the one rule they had. They ate the fruit of this one tree. Was the tree itself magical, or was the one who created the tree and made the rule the"magical" powerful one? Where did this tree get it's power or ability...from it's creator. It's kind of like the speed limit. Does the speed limit sign itself have the power to give you a speeding ticket and cost you some money? Or, is it the ones (Police) that give the rule that the sign displays the power? Is the power in a metal sign or in the people enforcing the rule? Eating His flesh was instituted by Him, Himself. It shows what He sacrificed (flesh=life) to save us from sin when He died for all of us on the cross. Read about it. Read what and why a Christian believes as he/she does. It's all in the Bible. Read it, bring your questions to a major denomination minister, get some information and understanding, then ask your questions.
2007-06-25 20:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Im a Christian (Roman Catholic)...and your concern sounds ridiculous! you may stay your existence at the same time interior the way Jesus taught on an identical time as nonetheless having relaxing and doing what others do. in simple terms investigate the ten commandments...i dont think of it mentions promenade, or any of the different loopy **** ur mothers and fathers could feed you. if your mothers and fathers ideals are retaining you decrease back from experiencing and enjoying existence...then permit this is in simple terms that, their ideals, no longer yours. interior the bible, lepers and tax creditors get forgiven by utilising God by way of Jesus...you think of he's going to hold promenade against you lol!!
2016-10-03 03:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so boring anymore.
Armageddon will be a nice time. No more of this ridicule, taunts and liars. I think of it like Noah's Ark. They taunted him and ridiculed him but one day God shut the door on the Ark and then it began to rain. The ridiculers and liars, stupid ones then began to bang on the door of the Ark to "get in", but God had shut the door already. The losers drowned.
At Armageddon sadly, about 90% of the world's population will perish, but if that means the 10% that are left won't have to endure anymore wickedness and blasphemy, or reviling, stupid comments and conduct from those destroyed, I'm game. I hope I'm part of that 10%.
Are you?
2007-06-25 20:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
NO Dear, you don't have any IDEA, but you surely do think like a crow. You sure you are born of human or as I have a feeling [only feeling] you are , you know, the scientist thing. Anyway don,t worry , you catch up, knowing all about the snake and rib thing.
2007-06-25 20:26:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kingdomchild07 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
YOU HAVE MADE ME SEE THE LIGHT!
now I believe as you do...that out of no where and nothing a self formed meteor slammed into something causing a Bing Bang Boom....them water appeared and ground and out of nothing a slime ball sprouted eyes and gills and then sprouted feet then turned into a lizard then a chipmunk then a ape then Man...oh thank you for setting me straight with such a believable theory..
2007-06-25 20:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋
isn't it fun to be stupidly sarcastic of some thing you don't know yet!? believe me i know how incredible it may seem to you about the fact that God does exist and that he is our creator!... but anyway i know that nothing for now.....(well except God him self) ....can make you realize what really is. But eventually you'll believe when you meet face to face with our Creator...well good luck and may God bless you with the spiritual eyes so that you might one day too join the kingdom of God.
2007-06-25 20:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You forgot about Noah's ark.
That's my favorite part. Would like to know how he cleaned the sh*t of 10 billion species.
2007-06-25 20:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by X Theist 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
You are a sad little man. God emptied Himself of all His glory to become a man and die a horrific death for you and you mock it like it is some small thing. Do you know of anyone else who would die for you? I doubt that anyone else would.
2007-06-25 20:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by CaTcHmEiFuCaN 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Yeah... but you plagiarized that whole quote. I know, because I stole it first! LOL
2007-06-25 21:12:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋