My stepmom is addicted to sales. She's unable to pass one up.
There is a running joke in our family about "Jess's store": a huge stash of stuff she's bought on sale for no real purpose. When birthdays or holidays roll around, she doesn't leave the house to buy gifts, she goes to the closet. She buys the stuff in bulk, and my sisters and I always get identical gifts. Our homes are starting to look alike because she likes to give decor, and it all looks like her stuff, which my sisters find a bit gaudy (well, to be fair, she can pull it off, but it looks odd in our homes.
This year, she gave us (2 sisters and me) bath stuff, Jasmine scented. I don't use bath stuff much, and I don't like jasmine. In my opinion, most bath stuff gifts are the ultimate impersonal gifts.
Last year she gave me the exact same thing.
Should we say anything? I really don't want her to feel hurt, but there are only so many gold painted frames you can have and still look okay. Would you re-gift?
2007-06-25 19:22:52 · 9 answers · asked by CrazyChick 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No - I'd donate the stuff to Goodwill or salvation Army.
My boss gives me very nice gifts for holidays and birthdays, but she has no real clue what I would truly like. So instead of hurting her feelings, I thank her and pass the item on to someone I know would appreciate it or I donate it.
2007-06-25 19:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a common situation in many families or among co-workers for birthdays etc. Personally, if I can't use or really dislike something, I either ask the person if they mind if I return the gift to where they got it because I have half a dozen "whatevers" or my dog is allergic to the smell of jasmine, so I can;t have it in the house. The other way I handle it is just quietly thank the person and then put it in my "to be give to Good Will or Salvation Army" bag and donate it. If I'm asked, I try to be honest and say it didn't really go with whatever I have or kind and say that I used it up or that it "somehow" got tipped over and broken, but that I have so many things already, so not to worry!
It's doubly hard when it's family. I would just talk to her honestly and say I appreciate the gift, but that no gift is needed and that our decorating styles are a little different or that our houses are different styles and what works in one might not work in another. You could always say you don't know exactly where it is, which is the truth if you gave it away to Goodwill. I tend to misplace some things.
Good luck on a touchy situation. Hope you have the type of relationship that would permit you to tell her it just doesn't "fit" in your house and it wouldn't cause a major feud for years!
2007-06-25 20:33:16 · answer #2 · answered by Meg W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her about it. She seems to have a big problem here. Shopping can become an expensive addiction. Why not suggest that instead of her picking out the gift from her closet, you guys do. Make it a game with the giftee being blindfolded and having one minute to pull something out and then must decide whether or not to exchange it, sight unseen with someone else's pick, also unseen. This might be fun.
And as for what she has already given you, if you don't like it re-gift it or donate it.
2007-06-25 20:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by speranzacampbell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she comes to your house does she look around for the stuff she gave you? If so, I think you should keep all the crap, and just put it out when you know she's coming over. She does sound a bit eccentric, but I'd hate to hurt her feelings, and I don't even know her!! They sound like lousy re-gift gifts anyway. That was a funny question. I wanna give you a star for that one!
2007-06-25 19:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by LadyLynn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely sit down and tell her. Tell her that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but she gave you the same thing last year and she really has sort of hurt your feelings. Is she mad at you, have you offended her somehow? If giftgiving is so troublesome for her these days, why can't we all just get giftcards? They are so easy and the giver knows that the receiver always gets exactly what they want.
I would give her the opportunity to fix it, if she doesn't, then regift to your heart's content.
2007-06-25 21:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by tsalagi_star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that all people just read the first line and then fly off the handle to answer. I for one, read the whole thing before I answer, because I don't like to jump the gun to answer.
2016-05-20 22:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure her intentions are well,,but i can see how getting the same gifts over and over again is dissapointing. i would re-gift it, so long as your step-mom doesnt see it at her best friends house or something like that....
my office has gift exchanges around the holidays and it never fails that i end up with some ridiculous item that i would never want/use myself. in those cases i pass them onto people that WANT them
2007-06-25 19:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by claudia_csn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not this time. Next time, try to let her know your feeling in advance. Not so directly, just tell her what you like to have. Or take the chance when you need to give her a gift, ask her first, let her know you want to get what she like to have. And let her know you want her treat you in the same way.
2007-06-28 16:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by hellenwashington 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are we related? Seems I have someone like that in my family too!
P.S. I do regift but to people she will never see or hardly know.
2007-06-25 19:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋