I am a stay at home dad.I feel like I am a loser and a failure. Am I?

Question

I cant shake this thing. I used to be a Marine. I once was a bad assed beer salesman. I used to drive tractor trailers. I am now a stay at home dad. I love my kids. I just miss working and , I duno. I am being paranoid and stupid. Right? I am ,not confused,but. I am just not sure...

Answer 1

I think its amazing that your a stay at home dad. Give yourself credit raising kids isnt an easy job! Good for you!

Answer 2

No. You are not a loser or a failure. You are just experiencing feelings that are normal. Men have been socialized from the beginning that they are the "bread winners" and responsible for providing for their families, and if they don't then there is something wrong with them. Now, though times have changed and more women are taking over that role, it does not diminish what you are doing by being a stay at home dad because what you are doing is every bit as important as getting out and working...maybe moreso because you don't miss out anything new with your children. Hang in there and know this is the place where you are supposed to be right now and just enjoy the time with your kids. Best of luck

Answer 3

I am a stay at home mom, and have generally been since my first was born 14 years ago. I've grabbed the odd little job every few years, but always tend to miss being with my kids and being able to do things at home, so I always come back. I love staying at home; it gives me the gift of family. I say that because while I have been home all the time, my kids have become very close with me and see me as very important in their life, and I know that I see my kids more important to me than some of my friends do. Of course I'm not saying that people who work are not as close to their kids or are bad parents, I'm not saying that at all. I have some friends that somehow manage to work and are wonderful parents. I'm just saying that it works best for me to be a parent in this manner.

Answer 4

As long as both you and your wife agreed to this arrangement, you ACTUALLY take care of the kids and house and your family is your top priority, you are not a loser. You should be proud of what you are doing.'

However, if you feel unfulfilled, then you also need to do something as a hobby or even part time job so you don't "Lose Yourself", many stay at home Moms go through that as well.

If you are still unhappy, talk to your wife and work out a compromise between each other.

Why did you decide to be a stay at home Dad? Are the circumstances the same? Are your feelings towards the circumstance the same? Does your wife still feel the same way about the circumstances?

Answer 5

Being a Dad is the most important job you could ever have. Being a good Dad is bad assed. Don't you doubt it. It may not seem like it sometimes. But when your kids are older you'll see just how important your being there was. When their old enough to go to school you could go back to work. Don't regret giving them this time.

Answer 6

I'm a Vet also, and a driver.
I think you are doing a great thing.
Most people now, farm out there kids, for someone else to take care of them.
It takes a real man to make sure that his kids are raised the right way, in a family atmosphere.
Good Job Marine! Carry-On!

Answer 7

My dad is very similar to your circumstances now, but in his case, its because he is a single father - my mother isn't around. You may feel stupid and a loser, but think of it this way - the only people who matter to you are your children and wife. They will appreciate your time and effort and sacrifice and if they are responsible, will in the future repay you back for your love with love. I am now 22, and all I can remember is that my father has been around forever for me and my brother, even though he could have just left us with our grandmother and continued as an engineer, but he didn't because he wanted to be there for us. My brother and I love him with all our hearts because of this and now we do everything possible to make his life easier, because we know what he did for us when we were young.

You're not a loser.
You're not a failure.
You're wonderful

Answer 8

I think that you ROCK! BUT... If you don't want to be home with the kids then you need to find an alternative. I think you are a better person than most... I am home w/ my boys 2 days a week and I love it .. yet can't wait to get to work the next day. You need adult interaction. Find it- maybe a play group or something.

Answer 9

Wow, a SAHM dad? That is amazing. But if you miss working and want to get back into the rat-race, then you could prepare yourself and your family for that too. Maybe you could get started by looking for part-time work.
I find staying home for too long (6months tops for me) boring and depressing too. Go out and look for job opportunities, upgrading courses etc. Good luck and hang in there. I'm sure your kids are grateful to have you home and loving them lots too.

Answer 10

stay at home mom or dads are doing the hardest job ever. your kids depend on you for everything plus you have the house to deal with plus being there for your wife when she gets home i am a stay at home mom now after working for many years and i do miss working. now i feel like im more busy staying at home then when i worked but i would not trade it for anything i am there for my kids if you miss working i would try to get a parttime job but please know this staying at home to raise your kids is THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB a person could do and your children will be thankful when they are grown. please do not feel like you are a failure there is not too many dads who could handle the hard work that you do

Answer 11

Your kids are so lucky.

My dad's the travel-the-world type, and so he was gone for at least three months a year from when I was a baby to...oh yah, NOW.

I think it's wonderful that you pretty much quit your life for your kids. And I swear, you're going to look back on this and know it was worth everything. You only get to raise them once, so don't miss it.