Should I get my daughter a Wii even though she didn't get the "A" in English we agreed on?

Question

Note: I am asking on my son's profile.

At the end of the 3rd Quarter my daughter got a C+ in English. As a father, I wasn't too happy about this. But I was understanding, as it was still her first year of High School, and she went to a academically tough Catholic School. We talked about it (and I remember she wanted a Nintendo Wii). So I made a deal with her, get an A- or higher for English for the 4th quarter, and I'd buy her a Wii. So for the last quarter, she studied so hard. She re-read stories and books. She would even stay in her school uniform because she didn't want to waste "studying time." I'd even see her in her school uniform on Friday Nights reading a book for an upcoming test. She would even put time for studying on Saturdays and Sundays. After all this, she only got a B+. She was so sad, but her teacher told us she put the most effort out of anyone. And when I look at it a B+ at a Catholic School (91.7%) is an A- at a public school. So what should I do? Do you think I should get it for her? I think she deserves it, but would breaking the deal make me a bad father?

Answer 1

I went to Catholic schools, so I know how hard they can be.
Don't buy her the Wii. You made a deal and you should BOTH stick to it. However, that doesn't mean you can't buy her some else as a "gift" for putting forth so much effort. If you can afford it, buy her something a little less expensive. If you buy her the Wii it might help teach her that only trying hard is enough.This won't be the worst disappointment in her life.

Answer 2

I will tell you a Catholic school story that may help your decision.

I was never real good at science though I was a great student usually. I went to a supposedly "progressive" Catholic school (many, many moons ago). I got a B in science. At that time, the teachers gave the report cards to the parents at parent / teacher conference time. My dad told the teacher that I studied science very hard and had even asked him for help. The teacher stated that other students at my level would have gotten an A for my type of work but being that they thought I was capable of more, I got a B for it. I guess that was the "progressive" part of the school. I was so mad.

So if you decide to get your daughter what she wants you can tell her that because of the "hard" grading, you consider it A work and will get her the Wii.

Answer 3

Well, personally i think that she deserves it, my parents used exactly the same motivation to get me studying, and it worked.

Since the grade is an A- in a public school you could use that as your angle to get it for her, but remind her that you are getting it because technically it is an A-, if you do not remind her about this then she will think that she can walk all over you and that what you say in the future has no real backing.

Also ensure her grades don't drop after buying it (I had the same deal with my younger brother regarding fench, he got the grade, but since we bought it the grades have just been going down because he spends too much time one it.)

So you can make her the deal that if she keeps up that grade, and all her other grades, you'll buy it, but if the grades start to slip, you take it away.

Good luck.

Answer 4

As a father a deal is a deal. She did do the best in her class though, so I would say that that deserves something. She probably isn't quite capable of getting an "A" no matter how hard she tries. So if it were me, I'd give her about 95% of what it would take to buy one and let her do what she wants with the money. This way your word is kept and you"ve also rewarded her. This way it's a win win!!!! Good luck!!!!!

Answer 5

Your mistake is baseing what your daughter gets on school grades. If she put a lot of effort in trying to get an A, then I think it would be a nice and approporiate thing to buy it for her, for that reason along, not the grade.

Father's are suppose to be forgiving and understand it is not always possible to meet or exceed their expectations put upon a child. I would say, do the right think and tell her why you did it, because of all her efforts and time taken trying to please you.

Answer 6

First of breaking a rule like this doesn't make you a bad father. She could of stayed with a C but she tried and succeeded in bringing up that C into a B. You're right she does deserve to get her Wii so go ahead and get it.

Answer 7

You can't have just black and white areas when dealing with children, so you rewarding her for the effort that she gave is not a bad thing. I have a 17 month old and my wife and I will reward her for her effort it helps her build confidence to try things on her own. This lets your child know that you stand behind them and they won't see themselves as failures when they don't quite get there but instead feel proud because they did progress instead of falling back.

Answer 8

Absolutely get her one. If you saw all the effort she put into doing what you asked, the point shouldn't be the final grade, but that she did her absolute best.

She deserves to know that you aren't completely unbending and that you do notice the effort. Hell, for all that, I'd take her out to dinner and give it to her there just to let her know how proud of her you are. Not many teens will do what your daughter did.

Kudos to you and her.

Answer 9

A b+ is a A- so I think that you should get it for her since she worked soooooo hard on trying to get "the grade". Get it for her and if her grades go low again take it from her and until she gets her grades back up she cant play it.

Answer 10

Wow glad I never went to catholic school they grade a little harsh. A good dad would buy it for her. She busted her *** and she deserves it.