Ive been told in no particular terms more than a few times that Im nothing but a spoiled brat who needs to "get out and get a job" and "you have no idea about the real world, just you wait and see miss princess". But the thing is...I dont get it, why is she so mad at me?
She's 23, has a job in a pretty dingy town, a husband who's good for what he's worth but Lord help him w/ the D&D, a 2 yr old & one on the way(which she hasnt seen a doc yet for, & shes gonna pop sometime early fall), & she works ALL day, like sometimes over 12 hrs.
I, on the other hand, am 21, go to school full time, am trying to get into the music industry, and have a 19 month old. I dont "work" per se, but my mom & sis get in home supportive services, which sends me checks, and I also get financial aid and state assistance as long as I stay in school. Thats where my money comes from, and even tho I dont pay my mom any formal rent for living in her house,I do help her with ANYTHING financial & otherwise she needs
2007-06-25 10:02:08 · 16 answers · asked by What Dreams May Come 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I do pay my share of the bills, I do my own laundry, cleaning, shopping,and buy my own soap-ish products & baby things and give my mom a bit for watching her while Im in school, all of its on my own tab. but, when I take the baby to the beach or go out to dinner or with friends just whatever I do thats fun and actually LIVING my life(see, I have no idea how the money never runs out, but I always do have a general sense of how much is in the account, and I spend what I need to be happy in life but Ive never been in a penny of debt and my accounts never been overdrawn because of my fault, so...I just live for the day at hand), she gets so ticked off at me and tells me to "just be quiet and go away...you have no idea little girl so dont even try to tell me anything"
Why is she getting so mad at me? How can I help her see things the way I see them? I really DONT mean to criticize her in any way, I love her to peices and I know the choices shes made have made her life difficult, but.......
2007-06-25 10:09:37 · update #1
I just feel for her in a way that she cant understand, and I think she thinks she feels for me in a way that I cant understand...how can I get her to get it?
2007-06-25 10:11:15 · update #2
Sounds like your sister is just jealous. You are on the journey of bettering your life and she probably feels stuck. Try to just be the bigger person. There isn't going to be a whole lot you can say to her. Just love her for who she is and someday I'm sure she will admit to feeling differently.
2007-06-25 10:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by Nunya 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is not fair, but it sounds like your sister sounds a little resentful because your life is on track and she feels stuck in her life. She feels like life is about struggling and she is right. Life is like that for a lot of people. Most of which have made certain choices that got them to where they are. She should be proud of you because you are going places and by sounds of it you know how to manage your money. Unfortunately she doesn't see it that way all she sees is how hard she has it and how easy she sees you have it. There is nothing wrong with getting financial help while you are going to school. That's what it is there for and the government knows that you will be making more money once you are finished school and there for they will receive it back through taxes that are deducted off your pay. You are a full time student and mother, that is not easy and you would be struggling to if you didn't live at home. I am glad you help out in anyway you can and one day when you are making the big bucks you be able to help them out.
Good luck to you
Don't worry about your sister, help her with suggestions to make her life easier. Maybe she can find a way to go back to school.
2007-06-25 17:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by CARM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should ask your sister exactly why is she mad and listen to everything she had to say and dont interupt her then Tell her that your doing the best you can and right now you cant afford to have a job because your in school and you have a child to raise and that in the long run when u make it big in the music industry your gonna take care of yalls mom. And if she says oh yeh u can get a job u got all tha time in the world then just say im looking for one.
2007-06-25 17:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're sister probably feels like you have the better situation - no husband, only one mouth to feed and going to school. She's jealous. Who wouldnt want to live with Mom, go to school and get free money (dont get mad - I got assistance and went to school for a year while my son was one - that was 22 years ago though I didnt live with my Mom).
2007-06-25 17:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by t_avalon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's mad at you because, from what you've written and I understand, she is "afraid" that you will be in dire straights when you have to move on to become independent of them.
She is not mad at you but upset at your inability to move beyond her, considering your situation is not as dire as her's. She doesn't want you to be in the helpless position she feels she is now in and she believes deep down that if she can get you upset that you will be moved to action, even if you have to lose a sister to make a better life for yourself.
I know it sounds strange but if you asked her this she would agree.
2007-06-25 17:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by Rothwyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like big sis is a tad jealous. From what you've said, sounds like she's in a rut and jealous that you're doing what you want to do. Don't worry about what she says as someday, she'll realize what a spoiled brat SHE'S being by critisizing you.
2007-06-25 17:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe shes going through a hard time, maybe stressed out from the new baby coming,working all the time and taking it out on you. Give her some space, be there for her and it should pass. Don't take it personally.
2007-06-25 17:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by becca b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like sis is a bit jealous. Logic is never heard through emotion and pregnant women are VERY emotional. Just ignore it and get your degree. When you succeed later in life, she will change her mind.
2007-06-25 17:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by Cheryl Durham, Ph.D. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is tired and overwhelmed. Her anger is directed to you because you deserve it. Why don't you try to understand and see things from her point of view. It sure sounds like you are comparing yourself to her and your disapproval is pretty obvious. The taxpayer who is supporting your lifestyle IS your sister, where do you think that "financial aid" comes from? Your sister is working 12hour days and paying taxes so you can have your dream. Now do you understand?
2007-06-25 17:12:43 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like shes just plain miserable, perhaps with her own life and she sees you having fun and your not tied down yet to any specific future or rut. Shes jealous as hell. She is miserable so she wants you to be miserable.
2007-06-25 17:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋