Any MIL out there who are perfect in every way?

Question

If you r wonderful & listen & follow through w/kids requests, and yor relationship is great, THIS POST IS NOT 4 U. For those who can admit to at least a few mistakes, what positive advice can u share to other troubled DIL'S and things they may not know (confessions) . b nice ladies

POSITIVE AND HELPFUL ANSWERS PLEASE. of course no one is "perfect" thats common sence. we're trying to open the door to "help" people who know that they "don't" know "everything"

I believe families are all different, with different customs and ways of living. When a man and a woman unite, they create a special bond and combination of their own backround. I always hear that DIL are disrespectful, as I have been most likely called. The word has been misused and it is unfair. Yes we are still considered "children" in our parents eyes. However, we are also adults with our own children. The one thing my MIL hated was when I put up boundaries. The door is not wide open anymore because its been abused. Now she must knock and it probably makes her feel unwanted. But what other choices are there? It may be disrespectful to some folks, but honestly, it is the only way some adult children can live without pulling their hairs out because mom decided to come over unannounced for the millionth time. They mean well, however, the relationship only started becoming sour when they decided to step over their boundary and do as they pleased.

learning from mistakes is a wonderful thing. Most parents realize, but hate to admit, that they've gone too far. But repeating the same mistake is was causes friction. And sending "guilt trips" is not the best way to get adult children to listen. Yes it works, but it also creates bitterness and frustration. And most of the time, the results are not from the heart because it was forced.

Answer 1

I think more mil would get along better with there dil if they stopped allowing there son's to use/ blame there wife's for there behavior of not seeing there parents as much as there parents would like. After all, if we all could control our husbands into doing what we want then I think seeing there mothers would be last on the list of control.

Answer 2

We are all human and make mistakes. Then you try and learn from them. My advice would be for DIL's AND MIL's to remember NO one is perfect.

For both to not be to critical of the other. Always remember the man in the middle is still her son (and always will be) as well as your husband. Before criticizing the other stop and think is it really that big of a deal or that important?

Welcome her into your life, don't shut her out just because you are married. Treat his family as equally important as your own. Remember you can always agree to disagree!

Answer 3

No one is perfect. The very best thing a mother in law or mother of an adult can do is keep her opinions to herself and mind her own business.