that my brother-in-law disgarded into a corner of the warehouse (for the Family's business - not important). I'm pretty upset about this being that it was never even taken out of the packaging. So here's my question...Would it be wrong of me to get my nephew clothes for christmas from here on out? He's only 6 so it's not his fault, but I don't have money to throw away on toys to be disgarded like that. I understand that kids get rid of their toys eventually - but they can at least open them 1st - or get rid of them out totally so the people giving the gift will never know. What would you do?
2007-06-25 09:43:06 · 18 answers · asked by autumn 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Aw, bless your heart as they say here in the south.
1. Do not be upset, give benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were so busy and that they have so much stuff they did not really need another of the item you gave. I would not take it personal if it is the only like incident. Repeat offences, now you can take a hint.
2. It is a material item. Do not let this hurt you please. Talk to the brother nicely and ask if they prefer a gift certificate. Ask if a different gift would be more appropriate, If they say do not bother with a gift, as it seems they may be the type, being nice. Agree and give when you know it is right and they would like it and use it. Follow your heart, it will tell you what is right. Go with it.
3. Never feel guilty if you have to dispose of a gift yourself that someone would be offended if they thought OMG they did not like my gift. With real etiquette, a gift is given and not expected to be cherished. Sure you want them to always cherish it cuz it came from ME ya know. But in reality it may not be that way and we must realize that this material item is just that, and your love I am sure is appreciated and remembered more.
4. Cut yourself a break, you were sweet to give the gift. Be ready for truthful answers and just go with the flow sis, you are a great sis for giving them the gift and be grateful that you were able to and not stuck on the other end not being able to share anything. It is just material and give them a hug and let them cherish that!
Hug to you!
Sandy
2007-06-25 10:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by itssandyonthebeach 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it could be something simple like your nephew already had the toy or something very similar. or it was disgarded along w/a bunch of other things that the parents were getting rid of and they just didnt think about who gave it or the meaning behind it. not that it makes it any better that it was never opened....or that they didnt donate it to a needy child, etc. but there could be a logical reason. anyway that said...personally, i would never give a kid a toy. kids always get toys that they usually break/lose/throw away/let sit in a closet so whats the point of adding another one to their 'collection'? clothes wouldnt be a bad way to go, but some parents are particular about where their kids clothes come from (brand/store/etc) and kids grow so fast...your gift will end up in the goodwill pile before long anyway. why not give a gift certificate to the aquarium or zoo or a local ice cream joint? something that will get used, that the parents will appreciate, and that the kid will possibly think you're the coolest aunt ever for.
2007-06-25 09:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to let it bother you too much. With out asking, you don't really know why the toy was in that pile in the first place. There could be a logical reason it was there, and even if there wasn't it was a gift, so if you think about it you really don't have a say once it is out of your hands. Regardless if it was rude on their part. But you can learn from it. One thing my family does is ask the parents what the child needs. I ask my brothers and sister what my nephews need and what kind of toys they are into. Kids are quick to change their minds. I know that one minute my son was crazy about yugioh the next it was pokemon, and always it is spiderman. So no worries! there is nothing wrong with getting clothes and if you want a toy that you won't worry about being discarded....you could always hit up the Dollar store! :-)
2007-06-25 10:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by avalonmists 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clothes or a book might work. But even then you have the risk that it's not what the parents want them to wear or read. What about McDonald gift certificates, or to some other kiddie place (movie, arcade).
I hate the thought of a gift card unless it's to a childrens store. It's too easy for the card to be spent on something other than the child.
2007-06-25 10:50:17 · answer #4 · answered by J M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your brother-in-law if there's anything in particular they'd like to receive considering you obviously got the wrong thing before... either that'd make him more careful about where he chucks stuff out or you'd have an idea about what your nephew would really like. Kids get so many toys etc so don't take it personally even if it's a bit hurtful.
2007-06-25 10:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by Blondie 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just get gift cards. They get used and are always appreciated. It is too hard to figure out what kids want. The "cool" toy changes every season and who knows what clothing brand kids are wearing at the moment. Don't take it personally. Kids don't learn to appreciate gifts until they are a little older.
2007-06-25 10:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by EmK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, as a mother of 2, firstly it was rude of your brother in law not to open the gift in the first place. He should be thankful you care so much as to buy his son the gift. My brother in law thinks my children have too many toys, so he buys them clothes, truthfully, whatever he bought them would be fine with me, cause it means he's taken the effort to get them something.
Books are always welcome, if you don't want to buy a gift card, maybe a dvd. Anyway, he's lucky to have an aunty who cares so much!
2007-06-26 09:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Been there. Now once a gift has changed hands I just forget about it and never worry what they did with it. If they have no appreciation for what I have given then why should I break my head about what to give them. Have stopped spending too much time mulling over what to give anybody.
2007-06-25 10:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by insp.clouseau 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get him a savings bond. That way mom and dad can't use it themselves. OR you could ask or just do it, start him a small savings account at your bank with his name and only yours on the account!!! Add to it and eventually when he's older he'll have a secret stash. I am however a big proponent of savings bonds.
2007-06-25 09:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mickey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would give clothes until they got to the age of picking out their own fashion or you can always get him to make u a list of stuff that he wants and u can pick from one of the things on the list so that u kno that he'll like it and since it is a list he wont kno exactly what present u got him.
2007-06-25 09:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋