I'm 23 and he's 26--- we've been together a long time and we enjoyed smoking weed together, but now that I'm 23 and we're both thinking about marriage, I stopped smoking and he's still doing it. I told him I don't like it that it's time he grows up, I threatened him and all he says is "There are things that I don't approve of you doing either but I wouldn't break up with you over it because I know it makes you happy and it's not like i'm hurting anybody". But I think this is different. When he's high, he just lays there and it's boring like he just had the life sucked out of him---and he smokes like 4-5 times a week.
I love everything else about him. Should I let him go cuz of this after 5 years?
I really don't want to but I don't know what else to do? He just doesn't seem to get it... he thinks I'm making a big deal out of this and he doesn't think this is a problem at all.
2007-06-25 09:26:11 · 21 answers · asked by marycotter5678 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a boyfriend who smokes and sometimes I smoke with him.. It doesn't bother me. But if it bothers you then I think you need to talk to him seriously when he is sober... tell him how it is affecting you and ask him if he will stop. If he won't or if he's avoiding the answer, then leave--- see if he changes his mind (most likely he won't so don't wait around and start dating to get over it soon).
2007-06-25 10:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by evelinka420 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break time.
Time for you to get some alone time and determine if when you get married you want your family growing up in that type of enviroment
You are not alone many couple have gone through the same thing. if you are a tv addict like me then you probably saw an episode of true life about an addict and his girlfriend.
His girlfriend took a 2 month break from him. In that time period he could smoke all he wanted and as much as he wanted however when the time period was over she expected him to be done for good so they could get married.
You can try doing something like that. Just draw the line.
Its time for him to choose ( Either you or the Drugs)
Thatll determine where you stand in his life
~Good Luck
Betty
2007-06-25 09:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's never gonna give it up. In 10 years he'll be a 36 year old slacker with no ambition and possibly a couple of kids. You can't change him; he's the only one who can, and he doesn't want to.
You can stay with him knowing this is as good as it will ever be, and you'll never be able to depend on him in a crisis, or you can cut your loses and move on. Deep down, you probably already know that he's not the stuff from which good marriages or lasting relationships are made, but it still hurts. Take care, sweetie.
2007-06-25 09:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by Georgie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While i am a Libertarian and believe that it should be legal, I personally don't smoke and prefer not to be around those that do. If it bothers you, then you should leave. My opinion aside it is illegal and in the long run can cause nothing but trouble. Its simply a matter of is it worth it to you, but chances are if he lays around all the time then its a sign of imaturity. He won't change unless he has something to lose so leave him and see if he will quit to get you back.
2007-06-25 09:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly if he finds nothing wrong with smoking and he smokes quite often you really need to leave him. if it was meant to be he will come back to you. if he really loves you he will stop smoking and come back to you and get married and have a wonderful life together.
you will be better off without him because what if he starts doing other drugs and starts to beat on you? then what are you going to do?
2007-06-25 09:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by Siroonig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to get better and you're just going to be unhappy if he doesn't quit. Explain to him why you feel it is important that he quit and let him know you don't plan to spend your life with someone with no life ambition other than to lay around and get high. There's a lot more to life out there.
2007-06-25 09:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by christine_ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im smoke it 24/7 if you dont like it find another man the weed comes first sorry love thats just the way it is and hey its better than drinking he might beat you up
2007-06-25 09:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it something you can live with? If so, let it go. Basically, you are the only who knows whether or not he is worth losing over this. It depends on whether or not his actions are to be tolerated. Sometimes, you have to pick your battles. How important is this one to you? Best of luck.
2007-06-25 09:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by yumyum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a serious ultimatum and have him make the choice. If he makes the wrong one then move on. If he chooses the weed over you then he's not worth being with.
2007-06-25 09:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by vjg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cant change anyone... its only going to lead to more problems. if its not doing anything bad except making him lazy then just leave it. its not like hes being mean, abusive, or seeing other women behind your back. it ultimately comes down to if you want him and the smoking or someone who doesnt smoke.
2007-06-25 09:30:18 · answer #10 · answered by Sally B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋