My best friend was diagnose with breast cancer about 3 months ago. She got one of her breast removed and is know receiving chemotheraphy. I beleive she has 3rd stage of cancer. She will be receiving Chemotherapy for 8 months followed by hormonal, radiation. My question is how will she be feeling for the next year. I'm so used to her and we used to work together but know she is in disability. I'm having a hard time being around her beacause I'm afraid of doing something wrong or not doing right. I want the best for her. Should i give her space or maybe spend more time around. I've also notice that she usually tired now so im afraid of visitng her because maybe she just wants to sleep.
2007-06-25 08:16:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Thanks this really helps me. Do you guys know what are the side effects after the chemo, she mentioned to me that she won't feel the side effects until after the 3rd day ans she wont lose her hair until 3 week later. Will she feel tired furing this whole process ?
2007-06-25 09:20:45 · update #1
Do like you have always done and nothing different and don't victimize her. Help out around the house, maybe cook for her and bring it to her house. 8 months of chemo will be rough on her, she will be tired. Her body is going through alot right now but you might be surprised to find out that sitting around the house may be the last thing she wants to do all the time. Usually the first two days are fine but by the third it hits you real good and usually clears back up in a few days. After chemo, things will immediately start looking up for her and how she feels. She will still be tired more than previously but better than while on chemo. The radiation could burn her, but as long as that doesn't happen then there really aren't any other side effects of that. The hormonal therapy can be rough as far as hot flashes and mood swings can go but everyone handles that differently. Just be there for her as much as you can and try not to let the dynamics of your friendship change too much, just keep it real. Things will change a little but if you know her that well t hen you will understand her cues. I can't stress enough to just stay the same person to her and around her that you have always been and don't be afraid to ask her questions about it and talk about it. You'll do just fine, don't worry yourself over it. Be yourself and let her do the same. She is afterall the same person as always.
2007-06-25 15:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jenna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't avoid her. Ask her how you can help her, or use your imagination. If she's a wife/mother, or if she's on her own, fixing some meals that she can freeze and defrost later on is a huge help. Housecleaning is another thing that can be hard--when one of my friends had BC I knew she absolutely wouldn't let me come in and clean her apartment myself, so I paid a professional maid service to do it. It didn't cost much more than sending her flowers, and she appreciated it enormously.
Your friend may be feeling rotten or exhausted, so be patient if she's crabby, and if she seems tired, don't take offence, but just try another time. Usually with chemo and radiation, you don't feel sick the whole time, but feel sick in cycles (e.g. right after an infusion).
Stay involved--a lot of people rush to help the newly diagnosed person, but often you need more help after months of chemo, when the novelty of your situation has worn off.
In my experience, having supportive friends is a huge help when undergoing cancer treatment--so hang in there, and best of luck to your friend!
2007-06-27 11:10:32 · answer #2 · answered by Katharine M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you won't know til you ask her. i think doing what you'd normaly do is best unless she is to tired. she needs to know that you'll still be there and not shy away from her b/c of the cancer. don't be afraid to be around her. you can't really do anything wrong except try to hard. just watch her for cues that she is tiring or feeling ill.
edit for your added comments- a lot depends on what kinds of drugs she'll be getting and how she reacts to them. there are different combinations and courses the docs could take. she will most likely be out of sorts from the start but the full effects could take anywhere from 3 days up to her 3rd round. really no way of knowing. her doc will tell her what to expect and usually the nurses who administer the drugs are very helpful. when she gets her info, ask her. maybe go with her a couple times and keep her company if she needs you. you'll learn a lot just being there.
2007-06-25 08:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please don't be afraid of being around your friend. She really needs you at this time. Chemotherapy will make her feel tired about midway between cycles of treatment. It will not make her reluctant to receiving friends. Her friends are what she needs at the moment. The more positive people around her the better she will feel. Please do not treat her as different (as a survivor of breast cancer I know how this feels!!!) she just wants to feel as she did before diagnosis. It is up to her family and friends to make her feel as though nothing has changed. Just support your friend and behave around her as you would normally behave. Please realise 3rd stage cancer is not a death sentence, this is a cancer I had and it is now three years since I was diagnosed and I am still clear.
2007-06-27 02:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by witchnanny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience, one of the best thing you can do is go keep your friend company, even if she needs to nap for awhile. Maybe you can pick up some groceries or do a load of laundry for her, or cook a meal that she can warm when she feels like eating.
Bring her books or get well cards that will make her laugh. Laughter is definately the best medicine.
2007-06-25 08:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Send her greeting cards every now and again, and maybe little thoughtful gifts that you can tuck inside the card. Even a funny joke would be a gift.
She needs to hear how you miss her and would like to visit her. Always include your personal phone number and email address. She will contact you when she is up to it.
You sound like a very nice co-worker and friend.
2007-06-25 08:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cancer and the treatments that come along with it affects each individual differently.
i worked throughout my treatments (16 wks of chemotherapy) followed by double mastectomy (which i was out for a month, cuz i couldnt drive).
its tough to know what to say or do for soemone when something like this happens. all you can do is be there for your friend. offer to do things you normally would (dinner, park, mall, etc.) and also things you wouldnt' (shop for her, cook her dinner, clean) she may or may not take you up on these offers,but, trust me, she'll be glad you offered and that you're there.
im sorry about your friend and i'll keep her ibn my thoughts. good luck to you both.
2007-06-25 08:47:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do dont stop visiting her!..shes gonna want all the familliar faces she can see with her........im a bit lost for words now as i lost my mum through this ...i wish you both well xx
2007-06-25 12:09:36 · answer #8 · answered by loontheklown@btinternet.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then you need to get OFF of YA and go spend time with your friend.
2007-06-25 08:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋