So... my fiance and I have decided not to have alcohol served at the reception because we've both had a lot of family problems/history with it and don't want anything to happen... We've had a TON of complaints from family members, saying that not having an open bar is rude to those who want to drink.
Should we give in so that everyone will stop whining about it and risk a situation from developing, or stand firm and tell everyone to deal with it? We're just really uncomfortable with the thought of some of our family members possibly getting drunk and starting something at the reception.
2007-06-25 08:08:33 · 37 answers · asked by SimplyMe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Good for you!
If the alcoholics in your family don't want to attend- that's on them.
Here are some tips:
If you are planning a completely alcohol-free wedding and reception, my first suggestion is that you not have a champagne toast, and instead toast with sparkling cider. You can do something as easy as having bottles of sparkling cider and fluted glasses on each table.
As for the invitations, formal wedding etiquette would have you not include information about the alcohol-free policy. The reason being that the main purpose of the wedding and reception are to celebrate your wedding, not to celebrate the alcohol at your wedding (so it shouldn’t even be an issue).
However, I understand that people have come to expect alcohol as a part of wedding receptions, so I do understand your predicament.
If you feel it is completely necessary to advise your guests of the fact that alcohol will not be served, here are a few ideas.
In the lower left hand corner of the invitation or on the RSVP card (in small letters) include the words:
Alcohol Free Reception – No Alcohol Permitted
-or-
This will be an alcohol-free event
-or-
The Bride and Groom respectfully request that no alcohol be served or consumed during their wedding celebration. The reception will be alcohol free.
2007-06-25 08:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you a story which answers this perfectly. My best friend since kindergarten (whose family doesn't drink) married a man whose family drinks a lot. They wanted the wedding and reception in her church b/c they didn't have the money to spend on a big hall, and they were having something simple. His family and friends all started giving him grief about the no-alcohol situation, and it was a topic of great concern & stress for her & her family for months. They ultimately decided that as a couple they would rent out a very large nice suite in a nearby hotel and have an after-party with lots of booze for his friends & family. So, after the reception since I was a b'maid, we all went to the "party". It was her, the new husband, his dad, and his brother sitting in front of a football game nursing beers. That's it. They spent $400 on the suite & almost that much on all the alcohol to try to keep a group of people happy and then they never showed up.
Do what feels right to you; this is in no way rude; they are the ones being rude. When you invite guests to an event or even to your home, you, the host decides what is served. End of story! You will never please everyone, so please yourselves in this case!
2007-06-25 11:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by valschmal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to serve alcoholic beverages at a wedding reception. A wedding is a dignified event, and if you think that serving alcohol to your friends and/or relatives is going to create a problem then don't do it!
Your wedding should be a celebration of your love . . not a "drunken brawl" or "a free for all."
You will save LOTS OF MONEY by not serving alcoholic beverages, and what's wrong with drinking a soda or sparkling cider? The world will not fall apart if you do not serve liquor at your reception. Matter of fact, there should be more receptions WITHOUT liquor.
Take that savings and have a nice honeymoon!
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-06-25 12:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by Avis B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong sister! I totally feel you on this one.
My fiance and me have opted to go no alcohol for the same reasons, and we've already started getting some complaints as well. But we're sticking to our guns.
We are having a smoothie bar or italian soda bar instead so there is a fun, interesting drink instead. Giving a unique option like that can distract a little from the fact that there is no alcohol.
Whatever you choose to do, do what you and your parents feel comfortable with. If people want to drink they can go out after the reception and hit the bars, they shouldn't 'expect' you to supply them with free booze.
Good luck and best wishes!
2007-06-25 09:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am all for the no-alcohol wedding! If your guests can't have fun without being intoxicated or "loosened up" then maybe they need to re-evaluate their choices. It's YOUR day and you can have it YOUR way. I have personally witnessed too many alcohol-related tragedies and fights to ever encourage anyone to have alcohol readily available at any function.
You could always do the champaigne toast with one glass per person, poured by the waiters so they don't overdo it. I had a friend whose father died in a drunk driving accident and they didn't want any alcohol at their wedding but they got complainers as well so that was how they settled it. There was also sparkling cider available in lieu of champaigne.
I am behind you 100% on the no alcohol. If they want to go to a bar afterward fine but if they can't go four hours without a drink then they have problems. Tell the nay-sayers to bugger off, it's your wedding and you should be free to do it your way without their complaint!
2007-06-25 08:50:17 · answer #5 · answered by Kristy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been to two friends weddings where alcohol was not served, and they were both fun, just a bunch of friends and family being together and hanging out and talking. I was also at one where there was only one beer keg offered for free and the rest had to be paid for. My two friends had the reception where there was a no alcohol allowed policy at the reception sites, so that might be an idea for you if you haven't already gotten a hall, then the pressure would be off of you for deciding not to have it.
2007-06-25 08:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by sweet serinity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Similiar situation for similar reasons, my groom and I have decided to only have beer and wine served, no hard liquor at all. I think the ones who want to drink will be okay w/ that, and it's not hard liquor so hopefully noone will be blitzed at the end of a four hour reception. Booze at a wedding is supposed to be for toasting and loosening everyone up. Not for getting down right trashed. I think the peeps who are complaining about not having liquor at your wedding are being down right rude. It's your wedding - do what you feel you must do. And if someone doesn't show up b/c of this well then you know what kind of people they were all along. GOodluck!
2007-06-25 08:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by MelA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The protocol varies. some weddings have an open bar; some have a money bar; and a few have a mixture, with an open bar for mushy beverages, juice, and water, and a money bar for alcoholic liquids. many times, if the bar isn't open, that's straight forward prepare to offer 2 loose beverages to each and each customer (many times monitored by utilising utilising drink tickets). i could want to observe that, in no case the place I attended a marriage with a money bar did every physique evaluate it cheesy or no longer stylish. As for what to fee in case you % a money bar, i could assume that, given which you've got bartenders, you is normally at some form of authorized facility. many times there are set fees for various beverages - the power could know those, or the bartenders could be waiting to assist. Use the set fees, or, in case you want, subsidize the beverages.
2016-10-03 02:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by alarid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding so you should do what makes you happy and comfortable, but you might want to have some keep an eye on your guests that do enjoy alcohol.
I planned a wedding were the couple decided not to have alcohol, so there family and some friends decided to bring there own and if they were caught this could have caused a serious problem for the couple and the venue.
Best of luck!
2007-06-25 08:23:12 · answer #9 · answered by MICHELL G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your preference, because it is your wedding. If people insist on drinking, they can go buy their own at the bar.
You could consider some options -- have an open bar for an hour or so before the dinner, and then cash bar after. Or, you can do beer and wine and soda paid for, but cash for mixed drinks.
There is no right or wrong way. Open bar is EXPENSIVE!!! Plus, you always have to worry about someone getting too drunk, and then you are partly responsible because you gave free drinks.
2007-06-25 08:14:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋