Hey girls,
Tell me, from a bridesmaid/MOH point of view: What made a friend/family member's wedding a joy to be part of the bridal party? What made it a nightmare? Tell me your Wonderful Bride stories and your bridezilla stories.....
I'm a bride to be, trying to keep my Matron of Honor, my Bridesmaid, and my two stepdaughters in mind with my decisions for my wedding. I am NOT paying for their dresses/shoes/etc (I can't afford it, sorry)...but I've just given them a color at David's Bridal and I'm having them each choose whatever dress style they want in the same color. This way they can be comfortable in their dresses, and choose something that flatters their different body shapes.
They are going to all wear white shoes in whatever style they like...they can buy the shoes wherever they want, so they can have shoes to wear again in the future.
I'm looking for other ideas to make it more a pleasure than a chore, to be part of my wedding party.
2007-06-25 08:02:53 · 16 answers · asked by Kat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I can forgive the ugly dresses, the shoes etc, after all that is what you sign on for when you agree to be a bride’s maid. I fully expect to have to pay for my dress and shoes. However, for my wedding I knew my ‘girls’ could not afford the dresses, so I purchased them.
For you, don’t forget to wear a button down shirt to have your hair done, and then you do not have to try and pull a t-shirt over your hair.
The worst thing, as a bride’s maid, total chaos. I was just a bride’s maid that had to try and guess where the flowers should go, who should go where, etc. The brides choose to meet us at the church and she showed up just in time for the ceremony. Not cool, since we had no idea of any of her plans, and we just had to wing it. The florist just dropped off the flowers in the front of the church in boxes. The rehearsal didn’t go over anything but who we were walking down next to and where to stand.
As the bride, make a plan, have things organized and let your girls know what you need them to do and when. Include a plan for the guys as well. Do they need to direct people in their seats, where should the florist bring the flowers, who is going to pin the flowers on the guys, and make sure their ties are straight…write down in advance all of the directions even if they seems picky. Also sit down with your photographer and let him know what photos you want. I had everything all planned out, and on my wedding day everything went smooth. Everyone knew where to go and what to help with, so I could stay calm and enjoy the day. Even the fact that my bride’s maids showed up barely in time, and didn’t help me with a thing, I still had everything under control.
Don’t forget an emergency kit for yourself. A sewing kit, stain remover, nail polish, and polish remover, super glue and of all things packing tape. My cousin found out at the last minute that her bra showed through the top of her dress, so we ended up ‘tapeing her up’ and it worked wonderful. I’ve also used packing tape for an emergency hem repair.
I can understand when my friend’s as brides were totally stressed out and nervous. The worst is the other bride’s maids being concerned about themselves and letting the bride stress, or when they are more stressed than the bride.
2007-06-25 08:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by Robin C 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've made the worst part of being in a wedding a mute factor in your wedding. The worst thing about being in a wedding is the dresses. The bride tries to fit everyone, but , not everyone is pleased. Good for you. You also made the accessories an easy factor as well. Go girl!!!
Just make the day as must fun as possible and don't sweat the small stuff. The only thing that really matters is the bride and groom, if they are there and ready for the commitment. The rest is just fluff. Enjoy, Congratulations!!! By the way. I've been in 22 weddings as a bridesmaid/maid of honor.
2007-06-25 08:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by Jana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Worsts:
I was MoH for my brother's first wedding only AFTER the bride kicked her sister out of the wedding party! I was basically "promoted" and had to deal with the evil glares of everyone who was on the former-MoH's side. To this day I don't even know what they argued about... Another not so awesome part was that the bride bought my dress without me being there in the size she thought I would wear. The dress was gorgeous but the top and straps were so tight it left deep red indentations in my skin and caused me to have tingling in my fingers - fun!
The Bests:
I was also MoH for my mom. She let me pick my own dress and shoes and bought me this gorgeous diamond bracelet as a gift.
At my bro's first wedding I didn't have to do any of the MoH duties because by the time I got promoted the shower and bachelorette party were already over!
2007-06-25 09:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kristy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I liked best was all the attention I got being Maid of Honor. The day of the wedding itself was one of the happiest days of my life. It was all fun, getting ready, being there, pictures, everything.
The downside was just the anxiety of the planning. I had nowhere to have the bridal shower so the groom's mother and sister (another bridesmaid) had it in the groom's basement. Knowing what to do and making sure it was all going ok, that was worrisome because I didn't know.
The dress, shoes and everything else went fine. The bride just gave us a choice of 2 dresses, we voted and no problems. There was the usual stuff like one bridesmaid not showing at the shower, one other not getting her dress til the last minute, but that will happen.
2007-06-25 08:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The MOH is typically the one who takes care of the arrangements and does most of the organizing. The other bridesmaids are not necessarily required to help with the planning. They should, however, help pitch in money and hands-on help with the decorating or transport. The mothers of the bride and groom can also help out with the bacherlorette party and the shower, in particular. If your MOH is in a little over her head, gently ask what the other bridesmaids can do to help. Then send a polite request on its way to the other girls. Bridesmaids are all about supporting you, and if the MOH is high and dry, they're weakening part of your support group come the big day.
2016-05-20 00:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IA with ButterflyDiva! I've never been a bridesmaid so I am trying REALLY hard to make this as easy on them as possible because I have heard horror stories. Don't care about their tattoos, don't care how the hair is done (a good friend of my brother's is a hairdresser so she's coming to the house to do everyone's hair and makeup). I gave them a color, let them pick a dress (they chose the same one, oddly enough) and I'm asking them to buy a general style of shoe, but they get to choose it so they are comfortable and will want to wear them again. I am hardly a bridezilla, I am actually REALLY laid back about things. The only thing that matters to me is that I, my FH, and the officiant show up. Everything else is negotiable!
2007-06-25 08:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my worst experience as a bridesmaid was with my sister-in-law...but it really wasn't bad at all. Yes, I had to wear a dress I hated, but it was a very inexpensive dress I hated. Yes, I had to hold her hand a lot because she was nervous and kept second-guessing herself, but she had half a dozen hand-holders so we all got to take a break now and then.
The second worst wasn't a problem with the bride at all, but with the other bridesmaid who kept trying to make the wedding all about her. We were relieved when she got engaged and set her wedding date just a month after my friend's, because that gave my friend a graceful way to uninvite her as a bridesmaid. Other than said second bridesmaid, that wedding was a dream. Gorgeous dress at a very reasonable price, my choice of shoes, and a bride who knew what she wanted. My input was welcome and often wanted...and more than occasionally used. But it wasn't a case of constantly reassuring her that what she wanted was okay, nor was my input simply brushed aside. It was considered, used where wanted, rejected nicely when it didn't fit with their plans. It was also a very fun wedding.
The third time I was a bridesmaid, if anything I was the bad one. I got cast in a play and then the wedding got moved up a couple months because the groom was in the Navy and they decided to deploy him earlier than expected. That meant the wedding was suddenly in the middle of the run of the show. When I told the bride there was a performance that night, she considered it, noted that I could make it back to the play in time if I left right after the photos, and told me to skip the reception. She also made sure her photographer knew one of the bridesmaids was on a tight schedule. She was amazingly awesome. Still is.
Basically, my advice is this: pay attention to them, show your gratitude for their efforts, but don't let them walk over you, and keep in mind what's most important. Let them know what they need to know clearly and in plenty of time.
Sounds to me like you're off to a wonderful start! I'm sure your bridesmaids are going to be almost as happy as you.
2007-06-25 08:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by gileswench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you covered the part I hated about almost every wedding I've ever been in. The dress is invariably the worst part. The last two weddings I was in the dresses cost over $250 each. That's ridiculous and absolutely rude on the bride's part. You sound like the anti-bridezilla.
2007-06-25 11:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bride and I tried to make things as easy as i could on everyone involved, I swore NOT to be bridezilla (and I think I'm doing an amazing job.) The only I had a bit of an issue with was the dresses. I loved this one style that everyone looked smashing in but it ended up comming down in price so everyone was pleased. (they all loved the dress and it started at $130...they all got it for like $80). As for everything else I dont care how they want their hair done, and I dont care about certain tattoos showing, I'm just so happy they are there to share my special day. I'd never want them to feel un-pretty or forced into doing things they cant afford or dont want to do.
2007-06-25 08:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was MOH for my cousin's wedding, she made everyone have their hair pulled back in super tight French braids w/no bangs, or wispy pieces or anything. I guess she wanted to make everyone look uniform, but it made everyone look weird. Also, she made me take off my glasses for the ceremony (I can't wear contacts) so everything was a blur!
When I was bridesmaid for my sis-in-law everything went well, but I live 2hrs away from her, worked full time & was in school. She still expected me to help out w/decorations, etc. - I tried to explain that the distance combined w/my schedule made it hard for me to get together w/her most weeks and would let her know when I was on a break from school, but she would never want to get together during those times and ended up doing wedding stuff w/out my help.
I don't think that she understood that although I did want to be a part of her wedding & planning, etc. I can't put my own life on hold.
2007-06-25 08:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋