(Islam )...How to get women to stop shaking my hands?

Question

I know they here see it out of respect, but it is forbidden for us Muslims to do.

What can I do, and how can I go about it, to not shake people's hands when they reach?

Thanks.

Answer 1

Be mindful of Allah Ya Akhi. It does not matter what country you are in, shaking hands with the opposite sex is haraam, haraam, haraam. ALLAH has made it forbidden. When someone of the opposite sex tries to shake your hand, give you a hug or a peck on the cheek, kindly decline by saying Islam forbids the shaking of hands with the opposite sex. Or something similar. There's no need to be apologetic. Standing firm upon your convictions is what is needed. The fact that you asked this question is PROOF that YOU know that it is haraam, so fear your Lord and refrain.

Answer 2

That is so difficult to avoid!

I'm a Muslim woman, and I work as a civil engineer. Even according to secular etiquette, men are not suposed to offer a woman a handshake, but they do anyway. Sometimes I've been unable to avoid it, for fear of losing my job. Most of the time, I've avoided the handshake by greeting first, with my hands occupied with some other thing (organizing your notes for meetings works well). You could do what I used to do, and just carry a lot of things around with you all the time, so you don't have a hand available, but eventually people will start to think you are either crazy or wildly disorganized. I recommend greeting first, without offering a handshake. People usually won't offer a handshake when they've already exchanged greetings.

Or you could wear gloves.

Answer 3

I know it wouldn't bother me if I offered to shake your hand and you said you couldn't for religious reasons, as long as you were just matter of fact about it. I suspect that most women would feel the same as I do. It would be good to make sure to say whatever words are equivalent to what it is that you think the handshake was supposed to mean.

The one instance where you may have difficulties is if you are meeting a group of people when some are men and some are women. Then, it will seem odd if you shake hands with the men and not with the women. The polite thing to do would be to explain that you can't shake hands with the women, but that you don't want to leave them out, and ask them if it is better to just shake hands with the men, or to skip it all together? As before, make sure to communicate with words whatever the hand shake is supposed to mean.

Remember that the handshake is usually meant as a gesture of friendship and welcoming, so the people trying to shake your hand would not want to make you uncomfortable. Help them to make you welcome by clearly and simply explaining your position.

Answer 4

Assalaamu 'alaykum Frank; If you are not married it is not to bad to talk with a female. However if you are married you should lower your gaze and not ever touch a females hand unless it is your mom, or sibling etc.. I am married and when a woman offers to shake hands I say " no disrespect but I don't shake hands" I am sure most think I am a germaphobic but none has ever been offended. Adam

Answer 5

Well, the usual thing is to simply pull your hand away when they offer theirs. It's considered a very rude insult to refuse to shake someones hand, so be prepared for negative consequences. In polite Western society, men are not expected to shake a women's hand unless she offers hers first -- then it's almost mandatory. There's really no gracious way to get out of it.

I just telephoned my favorite local Muslim and asked his advice. He said to tell you to go back to your own country and stay there. Ignorant jerks like you only harm Islam's reputation in the West. (Really, that's exactly what he said.)

Personally, I like Nunya's answer (above) the best.

Answer 6

The Prophet Muhammad told us not to shake hands with women and we accept that.

How to avoid shaking hands in non-Muslim countries where this is a common practice is difficult. However, we need to explain it to the people so that they understand and that we are not trying to disrespect them by not shaking their hands.

We need to do more dawah. The answers you have received so far also proves my point. The ignorance and total lack of knowledge about Islam is shocking but we are to blame as we are not doing effective dawah.

This issue can be turned into an opportunity to give dawah to non-Muslims.

Answer 7

i think you should adapt to the customs of the country you're living in....
islam is much more resilient than many people think.
between us muslims a woman can understand that you don't wanna shake hands unless you start and make the gesture by giving your hands to her!!!!...
but in any foreign country they wouldn't understand it.
cause you want to deliver a positive message-as a muslim- about islam to people who don't understand it...and you possibly won't start it off with the things that are not substantial in islam as morals and virtues.
i hope i helped......

Answer 8

ok brother, don't offer your hand to shake it and try to keep a distance when greeting women ................... but if a woman offers her hand, shake hers then let her know in a respectable way that you don't shake women's hands because it's not from Islam and will be prefered to explain quickly why, so as not to get offended without knowing the reason.


aaah !! the last thing that i think will work the best, is to tell a friend of yours to tell the ladies that you won't shake hands with them for religious reasons............ trust me, it works.

Answer 9

Who told you it's forbidden for Muslims? Sen b gets the best Answer. Muslims are not animals that will lust from a hand touch.. The debate between scholars was that: "Such touch ends WUDO'O or not" and Abu hanifa won by saying it don't unless it's your intention to feel a female.

Answer 10

Well if its in rules of your religion then , if you really are proud of it, then you should just tell the woman that its against your religion to shake her hand.

If you can't defend your religion openly then what use is it.