Bf's sis jealous?

Question

I've been dating my bf for about 4 years now. I used get along with his sister.
She told me herself a few times about being jealous, once when her father bought me something for my bday she said " I wish I could have got the same thing"at Christmas time her mom got me some gifts she mentioned "I feel like you're the daughter now, I'm jealous" and then when we spoke she mentioned she was jealous of her brother and I because our relationship worked out and her's didn't, wouldn't you be happy that your brother was truly happy and your family approved also?
The problem is that we are going on vacation and she might be there, I just think it's not going to be such a great time since she's most likely going to be looking for attention. It's almost makes me uncomfortable to be around her... last time she came to visit us I tried to get her and her bro out so that I wouldn't have to see her. The way she acts is like she doesn't want me to be there... it's just weird I don't know what to do.

I have recently talked to my bf about this, he loves his sister more than anything but he was understanding and thinks she has a true issue with this. He said he would like to talk to her about it, but I don't know if that would just create more problems...

Also, I have talked to her and told her that I would like to spend time with her to get to know HER not around any of her family... and I wanna talk to her and tell her no one could ever take her place, she's the sister, the daughter, I could never fill that!, over all I think she just needs to get a boyfriend and grow up she's 22 or 23 I think.

Answer 1

My bro and I are very close and I know that I don’t want anything but the best for him. I don’t think its so much her being jealous of you guy's relationship, but you. She feels like you have taken her place. You should just be cool- don’t feel like you have to explain or feel bad for what is happening. I think you should make an effort to create a relationship with her, that way this jealousy thing is eliminated. If she feels like she is being included, and that you are not he enemy then the mood with lighten up.

Answer 2

I've been in the same situation as your boyfriend's sister. I got jealous and angry at my brother's girlfriend because I thought she was taking him away from me. You have to look at it from her viewpoint for a second. Most of her life it's probably been just her and her brother together as a family, but then they start to grow up and he gets a girlfriend. All of a sudden he's gone and really enjoys being with you and doesn't really notice that his sister is upset because maybe they arent hanging out nearly as much. I suggest getting to know his sister a little more, give her some attention and let her know that you don't want her to be angry or jealous of you. Once she sees that you're really trying to make everything better she'll perk up to the idea of maybe having a sister figure of you. Also, tell your boyfriend to spend some time with her. He is a guy and they dont really care what their sister is feeling. Again, just a suggestion. Pray about it, whatever happens is what is supposed to happen. Good luck =)

Answer 3

Oooo, thats a hard one, especially when it involves your boyfriend and his family, because it's something that you can't easily escape from.

I've been there, but in a situation where his sister hardly spoke to me at all. I thought she didn't like me, perhaps she was unsure of me at first. But we also went on vacation for 3 weeks to the Caribbean and we had the best time ever, i guess we got used to each other and spoke more, not a lot, but it helped the situation and helped me to feel a lot more comfortable around her.

Your boyfriend's sister sounds quite bitter and shouldn't be behaving like this towards you. Bets thing for you to do, is talk about it with you boyfriend, which is what i did at first. He will understand hopefully and try and make it easier for you when shes around.

Also, try and break some ice with her, make her see, that your not there as competition, but there as a part of the family. It may be hard, but try and buy her a gift for Christmas and see what happens. Kill cruelness with kindness, it works.

All the best.

Answer 4

You're not responsible for someone feelings. If Sis is jealous, then that's her problem.

However, you CAN make it less difficult for her.

Take your in laws by the hand and explain to them that their daughter is feeling perhaps a bit like the second fiddle - and while you adore them and appreciate the attention they show you (which you richly deserve) they might want to reserve some of those good vibes for Sis, as she seems kind of needy right now.

Won't cure the problem I bet that will at least help.

But bottom line, you aren't responsible for Sis's feelings. If she feels jealous, it's not your fault.

Answer 5

You should talk to your boyfriend's sister and tell her how you feel. I don't understand why this has to be a competition against you and his sister. Besides, it seems to me that your boyfriend's sister is crying out for attention and demands it! If it doesn't work out, leave her alone and ignore her and his sister should get a life and grow up! Good luck!

Answer 6

Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? Show him this question. Does he realize what his sister is doing? Does he know how she feels?

It sounds as if this situation is a secret from your boyfriend. Talk to him about it. After four years you should be communicating much more effectively.

What if he were your husband and she was doing this stuff? Talk to your boyfriend calmly about this and let him know that it is bothering you. You are a part of the family since you have been his choice for four years.

Answer 7

All three of you should sit down together and talk about things. Hopefully she'll find a boyfriend soon and she'll have something better to do.

Answer 8

Tell her to get a bf

Answer 9

talk to her & your BF, if that doesnt work, forget about her & her issues, tell her to grow up.

Answer 10

you should tell you bf and he will take it from there
good luck