HI, I'm a 26 yr.old woman w/ 3 kids and i'm wit a 34 yr. old man w/2(previous marriage) His son is the oldest (10 yr. old) and he's very ill mannered. we've been together for 2 yrs. and as far as i can remember his son has always gave us trouble.. Like anything from cursin and beating up my oldest which is a girl (9yrs. old) He doesn't listen and his father doesn't discipline him, he's even picked up my daughter and threw her on the concrete and chipped her tooth.(that was in the beginning/ he curses aldults and i'm at the point to where i hate to see his kids comin.. My boyfriend doesn't really say anything except don't do that anymore.. what good does that do?? he curses his dad on the voicemail.. I'm at the point to where if his dad can't do anything about his behavior then he shouldn't come here/ he can go them at his dads mothers house..(they're there most of the time)Because it's stressin me out. and it's not fair to my children that they have their way. am i wrong for this?????
2007-06-25 07:30:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Your job, first and foremost is to protect your children. And if that means that you say the little bugger is to stay away from your home and kids, then sobeit.
I think that boy needs some serious counselling - it sounds like he's got some serious issues going on in his life. But your children should NOT have to pay the price. If your boyfriend isn't willing to step up and stop that boy and set some boundaries, etc, then tough. He can visit that boy elsewhere.
2007-06-25 13:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL KNOW! You are far, far from wrong. First of all, I wouldnt want to be with a man that allows his son to talk to people like that becasue that is a reflection of his ether ignorance or weakness and I cant have that. Also, me personally, I probably would have been knocked that little sh!t out. Gonna throw my child on that d@mn concrete lemme show you how that feels. I wouldn't give a f@mn if he wasn't mind or not. It takes a villiage to raise a child.
Also, if you end the relationship your children will grow up with that strength installed in them. And then they will never be in that same situation.
Think about it, do you really want a man that allows there his son to do that. Look past the extra money, the sex and see inside yourself, my sistah. A man IS NOT everything.
Your daughters are witnessing your actions. Remember that.
My children's father would kill our son's if they even thought about cursing an adult out. I will knock them to d@mn hell and back if I heard or saw my boys disrespect a woman or anyone for that matter.
What that child is being allowed to do, shows you the type of men he is around and the woman who puts him there. And you dont want that negative energy around you or your girls.
2007-06-25 07:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely NOT wrong in feeling this way.
By the way, what is 'wit'............ according to the dictonary; wit is powers of thinking and reasoning or humor.
Please use the tools provided here; 'Check Spelling'.
If I were you, I would tell the man you're living WITH that because of his son's bad behavoir and your concern for your children's safety, the boy is NOT allowed to be around your children. If he wishes to visit with his son - fine but NOT with your children around.
If he can step up to the plate and start acting like a PARENT, using discipline on his son, then you will re-consider his son being around your children - but NOT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!
Truly, if I were you - dump the man because he will NEVER do anything to discipline any child and children need guidence and discipline - he's just NOT capable of acting like a parent.
There is someone out there for you and please do NOT waste your time with JERKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-25 12:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. If your husband or boyfriend is unwilling to correct his childrens behavior then why should the other children suffer from it. However if its just his son and none of his other children are illmannered, then let him know you don't mind the others visiting. Also if it is just the son, you should mention to your man that he really should get him checked for medical/mental problems. This is a tough situation, but the childrens safety and well-being is of up most importance and if he has harmed them before with out concequences he will surely do it again.
2007-06-25 07:42:29 · answer #4 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!! Of course you're not wrong. He sounds like a horrible husband, and i think you may need a divorce,. If you don't want to cause the girls any pain get therapy. I would move out of the house (with the girls) to a better place. You guys don't deserve to be treated this way. That's horrible. I'm so sorry for what you've been going through! Just hang in there, and try your best.
2007-06-25 09:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by pup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong and the boy's father needs to step up. The boy continues to act this way b/c he has no discpline from his father. It's easier for the father to simply ignore and let him get his way than to put an effort into setting him straight. Let the boy know that what he does is not allowed in your house. You have to protect your children too. It shouldn't even come to the children not be allowed into their father's house. This is were he needs to help you out. You cannot do this alone.
2007-06-25 09:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by Erica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let that beast near my kids!
I have a stepson. He is not in the same realm of misbehaving that yours is. But the one thing in common is the parental guilt. In my experience, divorced parents of kids don't want to discipline or ask anything of the child because of guilt. The biological parents each want to be the good guy, it IS a popularity contest, and the kid is the one that pays the price because society doesn't look the other way or give them everything the way their guilt-ridden parents do.
Your priority, naturally, needs to be your kids. Your husband's son might benefit from some therapy-he is clearly very angry.
Best-
Dn
2007-06-25 07:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is talk with his father. How fair would it be to him if he was completely blindsighted by your decision to keep his son away from your home? You should sit down with your boyfriend and with his son and try to find some common ground, and if nothing improves then I'd say chuck the boyfriend, you've got to protect your children.
2007-06-25 07:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think abortion is better than a child ending up suffering. I think it's a shame when an abortion is needed bc people should take protection more seriously, and sadly they can just get an abortion and be free of the consequences. I'm glad they can do it though bc the baby would probably suffer.
2016-05-20 00:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the b/f and move on
as a parent your first responsibility is to your children. sounds like an abusive situation for them.
and obviously since this guy is still a BOYFRIEND after 2 yrs, and he still wont fix the situation, youre headed down a dead end street
2007-06-25 07:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by lilmissinsanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋