I am not exactly the best looking guy in the world so I guess that is one of the problems. I've never even kissed a girl it is sad I know. I am wondering if there is anyone else out there that has this problem also.
I do not like going to clubs and walking up to a girl in the street you like might make them think you are a pervert or something and is a bit invasive especially if they are not interested.
No girls ever look at me so I know I am not very good looking. I have a good personality but it never seems to get to that because of my looks. It feels like I don't exist at times.
When I go out now I don't even care what I look like because there is no point in me wasting time trying to look good when it makes no difference.
Even when I go to the Gym it seems like girls actually try not to go on a machine that is close to me.
Do you have any ideas on other ways I could find a girl? I almost don't want to find one now because I have noexperience like I should for my age
2007-06-25 07:11:09 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think you should build your self confidence up a lot more... once you can like yourself and especially love who you are then you can definitely like/love someone else... YOURSELF is the key to getting a gf... not money, looks, or fame...its simple its just YOU! think of all the good things you love about yourself...and they should be positive things... and then let that be a stepping stone to help build your self confidence... try socializing with people more often, you can start little like saying "good morning!"... or "hows your day going so far?"... those little questions or comments may lead to longer conversations making you more open and talkative to people... now if you just choose to avoid all socializing whatsoever then you will never have friends or what you really want a girlfriend. You also should stop being so down on yourself... dont think girls dont look at you because you're ugly... when you think like that it leaves more open doors for more insecurity... and so on and so on... you really put your own self in the hole...not the people... dont let people make you..you should make yourself ( i hope you understood that )... also going to the gym is a great idea, i know a few shoulder/ bicep/ chest building skills... a nice body is a nice way to attract girls...regardless if youre not the cutest looking guy... oh yeah... the last thing i can tell you is to be yourself!... now if you're a boring person... then you should take up basketball... football or something you enjoy doing as a hobby... because a girl likes a guy who has passion for something... ok then thanks for my 2 points, i should get 10 for this long essay haha..but im here to help you bro!...good luck!
2007-06-25 07:36:04 · answer #1 · answered by SuperMan 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Listen to this piece of wisdom: ANY guy, no matter how tall, short, fat, scrawny, ugly - any guy can get a girl. It's a matter of the right attitude. First of all - look good. Buy some nice aftershave and some jeans that make you look good. Wear a shirt or t shirt and do something with your hair. Second - start a conversation. Make eye contact across the room, look her up and down (swiftly, DON'T pause at her breasts), then smile knowingly. If she blushes/smiles back, approach her and talk to her. Third - LISTEN. You don't know how important this is. Make her feel like she's the most special girl in the room. Don't move your eyes from her face. However hot she is, don't be distracted but LISTEN to what she's saying and respond. Fourth - be a gentleman. Sounds like you already are one, but opening doors and treating a girl with respect goes a long way. Fifth - Do something. Ask her out for a coffee, or she'll think you're not interested. The worst she can say is no. Better one acceptance after ten rejections than neither.
And lastly - you're not weird. Just a guy who waits for the good things in life. Hats off to you, and good luck!
2007-06-25 07:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Lyra B 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The athleticism you mentioned is the key to meeting women. You are very busy as an architect and have no time to go to social clubs or other groups. However, you should still work out on a regular basis because it relieves stress. The cycle of work overload can be detrimental to engineers and architects. I have worked for many years as an engineer and witnessed heart disease related to stress among older engineers in middle age. The best way to beat such stress is regular exercise. The elevated blood flow and body movements escalate endorphins, which are the body's natural chemicals to fight pain. If you don't have time to play a long soccer match or team sport, then I would recommend just working out for about 30 minutes 3-6 times a week. During such cardio workouts go to a gym that has many women (like a college gym during aerobics sessions). Trust me, you WILL MEET WOMEN WHO ARE NICE. I did despite being a busy engineer. Brief workouts can relieve stress and allow you to meet women. There are many nice women who also like to workout to relieve stress from a busy workload. I know from experience. The gym is a great place to meet women. Just be yourself and don't advertise too heavily. The natural progression will come. I met my friend on the cardio machines (literally).
2016-05-20 00:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experience isn't always a good thing. Why would I want a guy that has experience with 10 other girls? Eew, I think not. I'd rather have a guy that waited until he met the right girl. I'm 21, too, and I haven't dated. I know it feels like you are the only 21 year old that hasn't slept around, but trust me, that's a good thing. When people grow up, that's really what they are going to be looking for. 21 is still young. Most people don't get married until mid or late 20's. You've still got years. Forget looking for girls! Spend time doing the things you love to do, and you encounter a girl along the way that will fall in love with you for you. Be patient, not desperate!
2007-06-25 07:19:36 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Right, I've never seen you, so I cannot tell if you're good looking or not, but the fact is, you don't think you are, so take positive steps in making yourself look better. You'll feel a lot better not just about women, but about things in general. And if women do not look at you as you claim, I'm not sure if that's true, then you will have to do more of the work. e.g. taking the initiative to go up to her and all, but before you do, make sure you park your ego somewhere, being told no is not uncommon in the game of courtship. learn how to be thick skinned. once u've made the first break, everything else will be easier, and girls will start noticing u more
2007-06-25 07:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know that this is not the norm, and it doesn't answer your question, but my boyfriend of a year and a half is 28 and had never had a girlfriend before we began dating shortly after he turned 27. He is hands down the best boyfriend I have ever had, and I have had a few. Now, he did have a little experience with girls, from talking to them, taking them out, one night stands and friends with benefits, but no experience of being a boyfriend. I just thought that maybe if you heard this, it might help you feel a little better. Oh, and as far as meeting girls, try a dating website or maybe a local date line. I know that a lot of people on those things are looking for sex, but some of them are genuine and looking for someone to get to know and date. I met my boyfriend on a dateline.
2007-06-25 07:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by Curliegurlie 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your hardly old at 21 ,may be your trying to hard just be yourself and take it easy. Why not try getting out and about and enjoy group activities that are not specifically based on meeting girls join a drama group or a charity helping on a project. Anything that makes you more involved in the project and less concerned with your feelings
2007-06-25 07:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
if you keep thinking you're ugly and don't take care of yourself, then nobody will ever find you attractive. you'd be surprised at how much it's not about looks. you need to develop some serious self-confidence. what are some things about yourself (physical or otherwise) that you really like, that you know other people will find attractive? flaunt those. it really is all about how you present yourself. like i said to someone else: the hottest girl in the world could walk into a room full of people and not get noticed if she doesn't know what she's got, but a hideous woman could draw a crowd of admirers around her if she knows what she's got. i don't know how 'ugly' you really are, but i know plenty of hideously ugly men with rich dating histories and hot wives. you are not a freak. more importantly, you are not hopeless.
you might want to consider getting some professional help to boost your self-esteem. why not try talking to a counselor?
2007-06-25 07:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by aoisora05 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
if you have a good personality that is better than looks . looks don't make a person it sounds like you are going to the wrong places don't be to hard on your self you will find a girl some times people try to hard and end up getting hurt so take your time your day will come trust me . good luck
2007-06-25 07:22:04 · answer #9 · answered by keith e 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Seriously sweetheart you need to build your confidence and be more outgoing & less of pulling yourself down, some are blessed with looks and some arent, but thats not be all an end all....your personality is more important these days, you need to get your spirits up and try try boost your confidence, you are a human being and there is someone out their for everybody, you will be happy one day, but you need confidence in yourself...hope this helps xxx
2007-06-25 07:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋