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My bf has had to go to physical therapy(PT) and there he saw this girl that he thought would be a good girl for our roomate to go out with. He mentioned this to me today saying that she's cute, attractive. He said they have been talking when he's there b/c she's his PT.He also said that she's been flirting with him. I got so jealous when he told me this. I don't know why, he wanted to hook her up with our roomate not him. He also mentioned that she ask him if he had any plans for the weekend and she just moved here. I asked him if he told her that he has a gf, bc just asking her if she would like to go out with his friend might be a little weird. he said no! I don't know how to take this. he told me that he loves me. why am i so jealous?? Should I be?? This makes me sorta loose confidence in our love/relationship. HELP ME PLEASE!

2007-06-25 06:48:39 · 19 answers · asked by pink 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

should i say something to my bf? I think that it might help me, i kindof feel weird when he kisses me after he told me that. He's been so lovey and kissy all day long. what do i do?

2007-06-25 07:06:14 · update #1

19 answers

Well jealousy is a natural feeling sometimes when we cant even help it and we know theres no reason for it.. In this case I would kind of be too! But, you just have to think, hey, he has me... what is there to be jealous of? Just because the girl is prettier? No, he loves you! If he is willing to leave you for her then the h3ll with him anyway!! Jealousy is natural..... but you must always think its human nature to be attracted to others... not a big deal! Just start checkin girls out and judge them with him...its fun and he'll love you so much for it! When you stop being jealous of some things thats when i would worry! Maybe you could go with him next time and introduce yourself to her! But, really if hes tellin you about her, you have nothing to worry about! He is being open with you! You either have trust for him or not! GL

2007-06-25 06:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Bottom line is your trust or not.

If you can trust him get out now.

Most guys will not say they have a Girlfriend because they enjoy the attention of the opposite sex. does not mean that he is cheating. But just like us women we like it when some nice looking guy pay attention to us.

If you choice to live in fear which is what is the root of jealousy you are going to drive yourself nuts. No one person should have power over you like that.

Be kind and do not react on emotion or go in too harsh or you may lose a good guy.

2007-06-25 06:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by bkamissrike 3 · 0 0

Jealousy is more about us than the other person. Has he ever given you reason to doubt him in the past? And why are you so worried? Self-doubt about ourselves is where most jealousy comes from. If you are not secure in your relationship, that is not your boyfriend's fault. You need to explore why you are not secure. If he says he loves you - trust that and if you don't, why don't you? He's at PT - there's not much else to do than talk. And sure, maybe he finds her attractive, but, he'll find women attractive forever. That's not enough cause to doubt him.

2007-06-25 06:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mama 3 · 0 0

Question: Why do I get so jealous when my partner talks to other people?
Answer: When you first connected with your partner and looked into their eyes, it felt like he or she was the only person in the room. As you get deeper into your relationship and call yourselves a couple, the realization hits you: You and your partner are not alone on this planet. There are others! Are they a threat?
When we are in a committed relationship, we assume the connection we have with each other will be strong enough to fend off outside threats. In some ways, this you-belong-to-me-and-I-belong-to-you mentality is sweet; it's the stuff of pop songs and poetry. But sometimes the intensity of that connection is too strong.
When one partner sees everyone whom his or her partner comes into contact with as a potential threat, it is
a sign that jealousy has taken hold
a sign that jealousy has taken hold. Shakespeare called it "the green-eyed monster," and once it gets a hold of your relationship, it sinks its teeth in and can rip it apart.
What causes jealousy?
If you've got strong feelings of jealousy, it's probably a sign that you don't have enough trust in your partner that he or she is being faithful to you. That lack of trust may be prompted by one of four factors.
You may feel insecure about your self-worth. In these cases, either you've been raised to believe, or some part of your inner self feels, that you just don't measure up. Because you don't love yourself, you can't believe that others would love you, so you live in fear that your partner's "true" feelings will be revealed and she will leave.
You're prone to cheating on your partner -- maybe even have done so. Knowing what you're capable of, you project that behavior onto your partner.
You and your partner haven't yet figured out how to
establish safe boundaries within the relationship
establish safe boundaries within the relationship. Having a tight bond is about building walls around your love with windows that allow others to be part of it -- not doors where competing lovers can walk right in and disrupt your home. Because you don't know what's permissible within the relationship and what's not, you're constantly on your toes.
Your mate is cheating on you. Cheating doesn't have to include sex; it often has to do with making emotional connections to others outside the relationship. If your partner is sharing things about your private life with attractive members of the opposite sex, it robs a sense of intimacy from your relationship and leaves you feeling vulnerable.
Knowing the factors that lead to jealousy is an important first step to getting things fixed.
Put your focus on building trust
Put your focus on building trust. If you've got some growing up to do, therapy may help. Both of you have to learn how to set boundaries in the relationship. That requires respecting your mate's definition of limits of outside relationships from the start.
Over time, as trust builds, you and your partner can redefine what feels safe for the relationship. After all, when you've got a great relationship, you want to share it with the world.

2007-06-25 06:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by deejaydevilonice 2 · 0 0

Ok, he's stupid to have told you "no" when you asked the "did you tell her about me" question. Everyone who's done the "relationships 101" course knows to lie when that one comes up.
Otherwise, his behaviour is pretty normal. All guys and girls like to flirt, especially when you're in a long-term relationship and it's a little bit exciting because you haven't flirted for a while. He's going to have to tell her about you if she's going to come over to see your roommate, isn't he? Let him off with a warning to tell a white lie next time.

2007-06-25 06:53:49 · answer #5 · answered by Felix D 2 · 1 0

jealousy is healthy, but it sucks!! i feel the exact same way with my boyfriend. as long as you trust him, dont worry about it. but i would be mad too if he didn't tell her he had a girlfriend!! i hate that! i always tell my boyfriend that its not that i don't trust him, but i get a little insecure when things like that happen and you just need reassurance!!! its normal to be jealous, but try not to lose control lol i would get so jealous i would just feel like hunting the girl down and beating her! ok not really, but you know what i mean! good luck!

2007-06-25 06:53:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Wow. He is a jerk. He denied you. That means he is open for a new relationship and yours is getting old/boring.
Spice things up a bit with him.
You should be jelous. Go with him to PT once. Just to go. If he won't let you, you know that he likes her, possibly even more than you. But if he lets you, he is proud to be your man. So ask him once. I say, if he denies you, deny him. Hang out with some guys more, give him a taste of his own medicine.

2007-06-25 06:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0 0

It is a little weird that he talks to her so much and that she asked him out when he is trying to hook her up with his roommate, but I'm sure it's only to get to know her better for his friend. All you can do is trust him.

Good Luck!

2007-06-25 06:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by KR52 3 · 0 0

If you had to find out by talking to someone else, you'd have reason to be jealous.

As it is, he's TELLING you about it because he doesn't care about her. If you want to make her more attractive to him (and make yourself look bad) just keep up the overreacting!!!

Since she's new in town, why not go and make friends with her? You could show her around, get her off your boyfriend's case, etc. . . . . .

2007-06-25 06:54:20 · answer #9 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0 0

Women want exclusivity and anything that threatens that can be perceived as "not being adequate".

I approach jealousy as showcasing control and possession. I do not own the person and I cannot control whatever they may do.

If you feel you cannot (or will not) trust him, it would be best to end the relationship

2007-06-25 06:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0 0

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