Inviting a friend who may embarrass you??

Question

We are eloping in a few months, and the family is throwing a party for us after we get back from Vegas. I have a friend that I've known forever, but we go stretches where we lose touch because of moving, life, etc. I havn't talked to her in a couple years but I always consider her to be one of my best friends because I've known her over 20 years and we grew up together. The thing is she has one of those personalities where she can do things that embarrass me when we go out. I'm not talking like table manners, but like throwing a hissy fit or starting a fight in a restaurant or bar. I'm afraid someone will say the wrong thing at our party and she will fly off the handle! Should I invite her anyway or just let it go, since I havn't talked to her in a while anyway? I dont want her to be hurt that I invited others but not her, but I dont want her to embarrass me in front of my "new" family! Anyone have experience with this?

By "eloping" I mean that we plan to go away to get married without the family- just the 2 of us. A quickie, cheap thing. The party is the family's idea because they got defensive about not being invited to the actual wedding.

Answer 1

I would invite her. You've known her forever! Even though you haven't touched based in a while, wouldn't it be a shame if you left her out of this big milestone in your life, only to rekindle your friendship later? Besides people change, it's been awhile.
If she happens to be the same ol same ol, I'm sure your "new" family will understand. Tell them you haven't seen her in a few years.

Answer 2

This is your party celebrating a very special day for you and your honey. Technically you can invite whomever you want. However, if this a good friend she should respect your feelings. Also, it would hurt her to learn she wasn't invited. Why not, get with her days before the party to catch up and see if she's changed. You might trying discussing those embarrassing moments. Make it a topic, like what's the most embarassing thing that happen to you. If she acts out, let her know that this behavior is hurting your friendship. If she is cool then invite her and have a good time.

Answer 3

You could not invite her and save yourself the worry. If you haven't spoken for a couple of years she probably won't be all that offended, and if she is, so what? I actually left family out of my wedding for the very same reasons, they were a little hurt, but they got over it. Your wedding celebration is your day, hopefully the only one you'll ever have, you shouldn't have to worry about things like this. After the celebration just tell her invitations were limited for financial reasons and since you hadn't seen her in a couple years you were sure she would understand . . .

Answer 4

I didn't invite my grandmother because she is a drunk who says inappropriate things. I'm not sorry about it either.

That being said, my grandmother and I are not close (anymore). We had a big falling out and after much discussion with my family, we decided together to not invite her.

However, I am very sorry she is going to miss this oppurtunity to see her oldest grandaughter get married. I wish she wasn't such a scene maker though.

If you choose not to invite your friend, I think she would be really upset. However, if she is prone to temper flares, then just explain to her that you eloped, and you weren't expecting the welcome back party to be such a big deal. If she gets mad about it, understand her point, but stand your ground.

And whatever you do, don't invite her and then ask her not to make a scene. You'll offend her, and she'll probably be twice as likely to do it.

Answer 5

LOL, wow.... At my wedding I had to worry about my whole family embarrising me. If you havnt talked to her in a while and you don't share alot of the same friends, just tell her that you missplaced your contact info for her and you are sorry you couldnt get an invite to her, then offer to take her out to lunch or for a drink to make up for it. Or tell her that a close relative was in charge of the invites and you had no idea she wasnt on there. But if you just have this feeling like you have to invite her and if you have ever been able to joke about the way she acts in public with her and her not take offense, try something like...."Now, this is a big thing for me...lets try to leave it without any black eyes, broke bones or harsh words..", then it seems like a joke, but one with a meaning in it.

Answer 6

This is your day and you dont need to deal with any drama that she may bring to the party. My suggestion is to just let it go. You are eloping......which usually means people don't know that you are gonna get married, but whatever....
so anyway........just dont tell her that you are getting married
and then when she finds out.....you can HONESTLY tell her that you eloped and the family threw a party for you. You didnt throw the party; otherwise, you would have invited her.

Answer 7

If I were you, I would not want to stress on my wedding day. It is not necessary to invite her... especially since you guys go through stretches of no communication. It doesnt sound like you are best friends, anyway.

Answer 8

Just because you've known someone for years doesn't mean they're friend material. Shesh.

You call someone who doesn't give a flying hoot about any one else's feelings etc. a friend? You must be kidding.

There are reasons why you haven't spoken in years - she's too flaky for one and insensitive for another.

My advice, get some backbone and ditch this "friend."

Here are some old sayings - they're true, by the way.

Leopards can't change their spots.

Insanity is repeating the same action - expecting different results.

Forewarned is forearmed.

Fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me.

Answer 9

I don't think I"d invite her. You haven't talked in a while, let her go.

Answer 10

my opinion is to let it go...You want to enjoy your party and not have it ruined. It's all about you and your "husband" not a friend (if that makes sense)