My boyfriend and I have been dating 4 1/2 years. We are high school sweethearts and go to the same college now as well. During my boyfriends junior year of college we got an apartment together because he needed to get away from his parents who use money to control everything he does. He paid for school and everything all on his own so they couldn't control him. This year I decided that the apartment wasn't working out because we were just spending too much time together and my grades weren't good enough so I am moving back home in a week and he has already moved back home. The problem is his Mom won't let him spend any time with me. He is 21 years old and a college student. I don't find it inappropriate to be going on trips and sleeping over his girl friends house of 4 years. If we were going to have sex we would just do it anyway. Sleeping over isn't going to make it more likely. His dad doesn't care about what he does as long as he's successf but his mom stresses his dad out
2007-06-25 06:24:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His dad is so stressed because his mom will not stop freaking out over him staying out a little late or sleeping over my place when he's too tired to drive home. As a result his dad will threaten empty threats. They also threaten to kick him out of the house and put all of his belongings on the lawn. We lived together the past year. We've been dating for a very long time. Why can't they just realize that and accept it. Is sleeping over my house or going on vacations together immoral? Shouldn't he able to make his own decisions at age 21?
2007-06-25 06:28:39 · update #1
It amazes me that a mother would rather lose her son then try to accept who he is and help him along. We have the resources to be on our own but would like to have a relationship with family as well. To those who answered this question negatively i think you are being ignorant.
2007-06-25 06:45:13 · update #2
My dad is the same way. I hate it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We're both over 21 and have good jobs (both out of school). But since I don't have a wedding band on my hand, my dad doesn't approve of sleepovers (even if we have separate beds and door locks).
She's holding the "you live in my house so you live by my rules" card. My dad does it, too. Tough luck to him since we're getting engaged in a few months and will be moving in together.
He needs to sit down with his mom and talk things out. He needs to tell her that he is responsible enough to handle school and a girlfriend! And he needs to show her that, too. She has no hold over what he can and can't do! He needs to grow up and tell her what's what or else break up with you and be a momma's boy!
2007-06-25 06:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She probably doesn't want to let her baby go...and he may be something of a mommas boy to begin with. As long as he understands and sees this and doesn't let her control his every move, you two will be just fine. You've dealt with it 4 years, you just may make it through the long haul. I will admit that at 21 I would expect her to accept the fact that he's grown....but I can't guarantee I won't be a monster mother in law either when my boy grows up...:)Good luck!
2007-06-25 06:28:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mara 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are planning to marry this guy, make sure that he aways stands up to them and does what is best for him and his future. If this is how his mother is, after marriage it's going to get a lot worse.
But the result depends on how he handles it now. Because how he handles it now will give you an idea of how he will handle it after marriage..
2007-06-25 06:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Centered 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he was very close to his mother and that his mother is just trying to protect him. He has wise up and take control of his own life. Im not saying disregard what his mother is saying he can listen to her but if he doesnt want to he doednt have to do it. He has to sit down with his mother and let her know that he respects what she says but its time for him to go out on his own. But his mother will never change trust me.
2007-06-25 06:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, he should be out on his own if he doesn't want to do what his parents tell him. My parents are super strict like that too, and I'm 30! Thats why I would never live with them again and I haven't since I was 17
2007-06-25 06:28:55 · answer #5 · answered by c 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, I don't quite understand your question. My belief is that is was wrong for you to live together in the first place....especially since the reason he did it was to get away from his parents. If he were really committed to you and loved you, he would do the right thing and marry you. Instead, he is getting his cake and eating it, too. As far as his parents are concerned, if he is living in THEIR house, eating their food, taking their money...then yes, they have a right to give their opinion about what he should and shouldn't do. If he is old enough to make adult decisions and doesn't want any interference from his parents, then he needs to grow up, act like an adult and find his own place to live. You and he have no business 'sleeping over' together. It's not right if you're not married. PERIOD!
2007-06-25 06:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by Joy 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
they're probably just controlling because there little boy is all grown up and they don't want to lose him so i would just try to do things with the parents every now and then and they may cut you some slack
2007-06-25 06:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by grape 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its just the way they are. IF you are a mature adult, then just be yourself. same goes to your boy friend, is he a man enough to take control of his life? or still being babied by his mommy and daddy? It seems HIS problem, not yours.
2007-06-25 06:29:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welll, if you want to do what you want with your bf then get back out on your own..... If you cant live with him now and he cant help you when youre not doing well in school, then why will it work in the future???
2007-06-25 06:29:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No one should control you. Don't let your Boyfriends parents take your happiness away. Pray and leave everything in God's hands. Continue spending time with your boyfriend and don't give up on him.
2007-06-25 06:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋