Me and the love of my life have been together for almost 3 years now, we live together have pets together, and we have tossed around the idea of getting married to the point that he randomly around the house calls me his wife and little stuff like that. However almost his entire family has had atleast 1 divorce so he shy's away when it actually comes down to asking me to marry him or plan a wedding. I would like to formally ask him, so we can actaully plan this and do it, however I don't want him to feel like less then a guy. He is very old school, "tuff guy" auto mechanic kind of guy so I don't want to make him feel pressured and I am scared he would say "no" if I just ask him at dinner or something.
2007-06-25 06:22:28 · 13 answers · asked by Michelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Touchy subject. If he has expressed his concerns of actually getting married, then you asking may not be the best possible route. Simply ask him if this is something that is going to be in the near future. You are very much interested in commiting yourself to him and want to ensure you are on the same path. Then suggest that you would like to start planning the event, and target a timeframe...summer of next year etc. and get a feel for how he responds. Some guys just aren't big on the subject. A friend waited seven years to marry her guy. No real harm in waiting right?
2007-06-25 06:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by Brownie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know some women do the asking nowadays, and I'm a modern woman myself - but some things should just be old fashioned, and I believe this is one of them. Let him do the asking - you're right, don't make him feel like less of a man. You don't want a situation where people ask "so how did he propose" and be uncomfortable. While it does happen sometimes, it's still not the most "socially acceptible" thing. Sounds like he's very comfortable playing house and stuff, so that actually is a good sign. I think the only thing you can do is give him a little more time, be gracious and loving, and he'll see that not everything ends up in divorce. Wear his favorite dress on you and coo at wedding shows on tv discreetly..:) I'm sure he'll come around! The very best to you!
2007-06-25 13:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by Starry Eyes 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with asking him. At least you'll have an answer about whether he EVER wants to get married, right? And if you really want to be in a legal, committed relationship, then you need to know if this guy is serious.
It's 2007. A woman can ask a man to marry her. Just don't make a big production out of it, with flowers and candlelight or anything. Just tell him, flat out, that you would like the two of you to get married, and ask him how he feels about it. Or just ask him, since he salls you his "wife" all the time, "Husband, when are we getting married?"
It's better to know, or at least have an idea, now, before you spend any more time in the relationship. Just be prepared for a "No" and know what you're going to do if that happens.
2007-06-25 13:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow.. Tough one. Have you thought about what if he says no? Are you going to continue your relationship or is that grounds for moving on. Since it is obvious you want more from the relationship than him. Does he know how strongly you feel about marriage? I'd throw hints around and get a feel for what might happen before you plan something and do it.
Good Luck
2007-06-25 13:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by Leann ~ 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't want to get married. Have a conversation about it and point blank ask him. If he is warm to the idea, plan something. If not, think about how the "no" nswer is going to affect you. Do you want to be his roomate for the rest of your life or do you want a rock solid commiment? At 3 years, you got to think about your self now.
2007-06-25 13:30:35 · answer #5 · answered by DAR76 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Get him an engagement wrench set. Get down on one knee and ask.
You have to tell him this is what you want, whether you propose or not . He could say no even though he loves you.
2007-06-25 14:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows it is his job to do the proposing...if he isn't its because he doesn't want to marry or becasue he isn't ready. And, with your arrangement, he honestly has no reason to get married. I would have an honest talk with him and say you love him, but you really want to get married...you are no longer content with just living together...
2007-06-25 13:59:51 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bring him to his favorite and speek from your heart. Thats the way to go. Don't listen to Kelly Clarkson before you do it though.
2007-06-25 13:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has gone on long enough. Don't ask him exactly, just say casually, Hey, (Name), when are we going to set our wedding date?
2007-06-25 13:26:28 · answer #9 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When he asks you what you want for your birthday or Christmas, say, "An engagement ring."
2007-06-25 14:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋