My dad's a racist- how can I bring my boyfriend home?

Question

He's against black people that their lazy and cuss all the time, but I don't agree. It gets me mad sometimes. Well, he doesn't know my boyfriend's black and i kept it a secret for a LONG time. He expects me to go out with our own race- hispanics. But it hurts me that he thinks this way. I'm really not sure about this- my boyfirend's the best and I love him, but what will my dad say about this???

Answer 1

i agree with ur dad somewhat on this. there ARE blacks out there that are genuine nice ppl but honestly out there most of the time i see a black dude hes blastic rap and his car, saying **** with every sentence and dressing like a g. im not really truly racists its just the black culture ur dad is ignorant for judging ppl like that and yes i know a few good kids that are black and they are my buddies. but for the most part a lot of them are like that. tell your dad to stfu about black and that hes being ignorant, you got a mom? tell ur mom to say something and if they both dont care then thats a damn shame.

Answer 2

That really is a stereotype to suggest that black people are lazy and cuss a lot. I find every race of people can be that way (not in a whole, but individuals from every race). Sit down and tell your dad how your guy is different then that: he treats you well, he works or goes to school, he doesn't cuss (or not more than the average person), and so on. Point out all the good stuff and if your dad doesn't get it now, maybe he will grow to understand. Racism is like a disease, but hopefully you can get your point across to your dad so he is more open to the idea, but don't expect an overnight change.

Answer 3

He'll probably go through the roof.. then go mad.. then maybe violent.. he may even feel ashamed about all this.. having to find that his own daughter is dating someone of a different race...

Your love is going to be tested here... Maybe it won't even be the greates trial ever.. but it's packing a load of difficulty.

If you've been able to keep it a secret for so long.. then it won't hurt for another few days.. Talk to your dad; come clean about your relationship. Tell him you don't want to hide it anymore because it hurts you that you have to hide it from your parents.. It's going to be tough explaining and convincing your dad.. tell him about all the good things your relationship with your boyfriend has brought about.. be it academically, or spiritually, or just how happy you've become... He'll turn into a right state of course, and may temporarily lose his mind, as many have before him..

Of course, you have to make your backup plan, should the worst happen. If you think your dad will lock you up forever.. and if you can't take that.. If you have to be with your boyfriend.. then create your exit strategy.. plan it with him so that he can come to your house and go through the window and take you away or something.. yeah, sounds pretty extreme.. but i just mean that you have to be ready for the worst.. Bruce Lee's story.. the story of the couple in one of Mariah Carey's videos.. Romeo and Juliet (although that was tragic in the end), Pocahontas I'm mentioning these things because they can give you an idea of the struggles love has to deal with sometimes.. and what measures are taken by both parties just to protect their love or to protect their daughter/son from what they think isn't right for them.. Think hard.. plan it well.. and just be wise.. Ball's in your court.

Answer 4

You are living in your dad's house. Therefore, you must go by his rules. It doesn't matter if you agree with the way that your dad feels or not. You can do whatever you want when you get out of the house and support yourself 100%. Until then you will just have to sneak around and see your boyfriend. It is your dad's house and if he says that your boyfriend isn't allowed over, then he isn't allowed over. Don't try to talk your dad into feeling any differently. He has just as much right to have his own opinion as you do to have your own opinion. Part of me wonders if you are purposely dating this guy to upset your dad. After all, they do say that forbidden fruit is sweeter. If you want to be able to bring a boyfriend home, then bring one over that you know that your dad will be ok with.

Answer 5

That's a tough one indeed, as fathers can be vary protective of there Little girl from the start so for there to be the racist issue just adds to it. i am a father and i can tell you id be vary protective of my girl but i am not racist so I'm not sure just how he fills about it in is heart. this could turn into a hug battle for you, i am sorry you have this as a problem but the longer you keep it a secret the worse it will be when the Truth gets out and back to him. you are going to have to deal with this at some point and the sooner you do the better cause if he finds out before you tell him and try to talk it over with him you might loos any chance of him listening at all. good luck

Answer 6

Well to be honest, Everyone has thier lazy times and cuss all the time.... It's natural.. But you're not the only one in this situation, I know many people that have the same problem as you... Just to let you know it's gonna be hard for you to let your father know that you have a black boyfriend just because he don't like black people. But it's gonna be a struggle because you're really in love with this person but your father doesn't know that. How old are you? I feel if your older than 18 years of age then it's your decision on what guys you want to talk to.. You have to worry about your own life now, your not daddy's little girl anymore.. you have goals on your on and he has to accept that if he really loves he daughter. But try not to stress over it, because it would make you feel even more down and that's something you don't need now..

Answer 7

First you need to tell your dad that your boyfriend is black, before you introduce them, this will insure that your dad doesn't act like a racist fool and hurt and embarrass anyone when the meeting takes place. If your dad can't respect who you love, then you will need to keep your personal relationships separate from your dad, this is hard to do depending on how serious you are about your boyfriend and how close you are to your dad. Try talking before introducing, give it some time and see what happens.

Answer 8

you may desire to tell them approximately your boyfriend in the previous you convey him homestead. do not purely ensue and sweetness them. That wont be honest on your boyfriend or your moms and dads. you ought to additionally clarify on your boyfriend approximately your dad so as that once and in the event that they do meet he has a heads up. yet your moms and dads might ask your self you and supply him a brilliant gamble. If not, then it is your existence and you need to be with the guy who makes you satisfied and treats you stable. interior the tip that would desire to be all that concerns

Answer 9

ah, i've been in this situation before. don't bring him to your house , go somewhere else away from your dad then when he's gone bring hom by to to meet everyone else that isn't racist and keep it a secret . then if your dad finds out tell him you love him and your not going to get rid of him because of what your dad says.

Answer 10

Tell him that you understand that he was raised with prejudice but that you feel very lucky to have a father like him who raised you so that you don't share the same inequities that he must have felt in trying to understand another's race....applaud him for being as liberal as he has been in bringing you up to not be as narrow minded as bigots are and then tell him that you're glad that he is open minded on your behalf because what he thinks matters to you and that you want to be able to share your joys pleasures and sorrows as you mature and one way to do that would be for him to consent to meet the fellow you are interested in.....Good luck!