need your help. I have entered into a relationship with a very secure guy and I need affirmations. He is not willing to "teach" at this point, and assumes since I am older, that I come already taught on lifes lessons. I am insecure due to past relationships, and dont know how to change that. I am very secure in my appearance, but when it comes to love, there are many issues.
2007-06-25 05:37:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Xanax
2007-06-25 05:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are insecure cause you don't want to get hurt again. But you have to learn to leave the pain from the previous relationships from the past in the past. It isn't fair to the man you are with now, you are insecure and he has to deal with it because of the last guys.
Although you have every right to feel what you do. Opening up your heart is hard to do, but if you can open your eyes and see this guy is with you he actually may care about you and instead of driving yourself bonkers because your insecure. You can change for a start by stop equaling your past to your present and future.
The past is written already it can't be erased but you can change the now, and the future. Think ahead, try to surround yourself with enviroments that don't associate you with your past relationships.
Give him a chance. He may be the one and you don't want to loose him when you could of prevented it. Look forward think positive, don't jump to conclusion, don't think ALL guys are the same cause they're not!
2007-06-25 12:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, it is ok to feel insecure b/c of past realtionships... but at the same time you have to realize he is a different guy and you have to give this new relationship a chance, and put your insecurities from past relationships asside. DON'T expect him to teach you how to be secure b/c he couldn't, thats something you have to learn on your own. So just relax, take a breather and enjoy time with your new guy. You can keep your guard up to a certain extent, but not to the point that it screams INSECURITY. Just love and be loved!
2007-06-25 12:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love, like life, is an experiment. There is no guarantee at all that anythng you do, will succeed. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and go for it, then stand back and see what happens. That's all you can do. To be insecure, afraid, will get you nowhere. You'll accomplish nothing. Try to give yourself the confidence and determination that you'll succeed. Try... at least, then be prepared for anything. There's not much else you can do. Nothing in life, is assured. Nothing is perfect. Accept that, and you'll understand better, and can perhaps betetr deal with is all.
Good luck :-)
~ Jon
2007-06-25 12:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jonathan Rich 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Insecurities are made from those who are unsure of how to act or manage themselves.
Although the aid of others is very helpful in this it is not a necessity.
What you must do is use what you have now as a learning experience, everything you've done so far good or bad as been that, a learning experience.
Take what you know now, and what you will learn and apply these to managing your future acts and your future self.
Best of luck!!
2007-06-25 12:42:06 · answer #5 · answered by Chris H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
having insecurities is something we all know is hard to get rid of. if you have had constant bad relationships its like your mind got programmed to think ALL men or women are gonna treat you wrong. being secured bout this man will have to come in time. hes gonna have to show you that hes not like the rest. but in the mean time your gonna have to treat him as innocent till proven guilty. past relationships to me are to show you your faults and to teach you what your willing and not willing to put up with, and to give you experience in different games people like to play so youll know what to look for in the next. we all have to try to leave are baggage from the past in the past and not blame the present for it. there are no miracles, if your wanting a relationship then there are risks behind them. just learn from them!
2007-06-25 13:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by warrior*in*the*making 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing insecurities after poor relationships is hard. All I can say is that I would be happy to listen to you and give you all of the support that I can. Sometimes it is just good to talk.
2007-06-25 12:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds simple but its true. Believe in yourself, be who you are and let people accept you for who you really are.
That goes for be in love or making love or whatever. Time teaches all and no one comes with a guide book to life.
2007-06-25 13:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say talk to him about the issues, communication is what keeps a relationship, p.s. he may not be as secure as u think
2007-06-25 12:40:56 · answer #9 · answered by Dar-E-O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its true that you can change your appearance over the years greatly. when i was young, girls said i was a ugly little thing. then when i hit high school ,they said i was too short and scrawny. when i graduated from high school, they said i was sexy. when i started college, they said i was very sexy and handsome, and as i got older, i got better looking due to exercise and exercise will make you feel alot better about yourself. i noticed if you have a lean body, you are considered fairly attractive.
2007-06-26 15:32:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋