I asked what you all thought would be scarier, being homeless or young & pregnant. 99% of you said homeless. Now suppose a young girl was in that "scary" homeless predicament, but dug herself out of it in a relatively short period of time, by working hard, being innovative, budgeting, reading up on budgeting & personal finances, and really turned her life around in about a year? And suppose this same self-sufficient hard worker then got pregnant(unmarried)? Do you think she would be most likely very capable of taking care of a baby, since she'd obviously faced & conquered bigger obstacles before? Or, do you think her homeless experiences would deem her to be "worse" than most other moms-to-be, since perhaps her homeless experiences might have psychologically scarred her a little? Or perhaps if she became homeless before, maybe she's more prone to become homeless again?
Either way, how do you think one's past homeless experience(s) affects how capable of a parent/provider she might be?
2007-06-25 05:35:09 · 11 answers · asked by I Hate my haters 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Just to clarify: The "pregnant girl" that I wrote about in this (completely hypothetical) situation would no longer be homeless. She used to be homeless but worked hard to pull herself upward and now has her own apartment.
By the way: I'm not pregnant, nor is anyone that I know that used to be homeless. This is a hypothetical "thinking" type of question. But the feedback is very important to me.
2007-06-25 05:40:15 · update #1
Note: Sometimes even precautions/contraception doesn't work. In my scenario, the condom broke and then the emergency contraceptive pill didn't work either. True story too by the way.
2007-06-25 06:20:01 · update #2
If she was able to pull herself out of a homeless situation, and set herself up for success, I think she would be very capable of caring for an infant.
2007-06-25 05:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by serendipity_siren 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on her. If she had the perseverance to lift herself up and become successful then she may prove to also be capable of being a mother. It takes a lot for someone to really become homeless and this worries me that someone let themselves get that low but there are great success stories out there. This proves that she can do what is necessary but it doesn't prove that she always will or that she will do all that is necessary (for a child). I'd be a little wary of the situation if just 1 yr, or less, ago this woman was homeless and now is pregnant. If she were really trying to dig herself out and build a life, why did she not take the precautions? With your head barely above water a child is that much more responsibility that you may not be able to handle. She's capable of success if she dug herself out, yes, but... it just depends on the person.
2007-06-25 05:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably being so capable and brave would make her a better mother in many ways. However, the lack of a support system (if there was a strong support system of family she shouldn't ever have had to be homeless) can be yet another hardship to overcome pregnant, and could potentially lead to a slightly lesser quality of life for the child. Of course, horrible grandparents are much worse than no grandparents at all, and the lack of support system is not a "fault" with the mother-to-be in any way, so this has much much less to do with the abilities of the mother than the ideal-ness of the situation.
2007-06-25 15:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....a lot of thought you put into this one.
There are more programs available to this young girl now that she is pregnant, than when she wasn't. If she was able to pull herself out of the gutter, so to speak, then I feel she knows how to deal with dire circumstances. I do not see how she would be more prone to be homeless with the addition of a child. I believe that her motherly instincts would drive her to do even better for herself and her child...not worse. If she had the drive to improve her circumstances when it was just her, she will likely be twice as driven when it is for the good of her child.
Perhaps her fear of being homeless again will drive her to improve her life even more. I do not see how her past homeless experiences would affect her ability to be a parent. Again, she has already displayed that she is capable of taking care of herself, maintaining a job, a home, et cetera. Unless she absolutely doesn't want this child, I feel the pregnancy will give her a reason besides herself. It is hard when you let yourself down, but when you let down someone else, it enters a whole new realm of disappointment.
2007-06-25 05:45:34 · answer #4 · answered by Nymph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in a way it would help but in a way it wouldn't matter. it would be helpful because being that she dug herself out of that hole she would probably be able to financially take care of the child. however that doesn't necessarily mean that emotionally she would be able to nurture a child. however she knows how to do without and waking every couple hours with a newborn would probably be nothing compared to sleeping on the streets. my hubby was homeless for a time when he was a teenager and i can definitely say he is a better person for it. he is a hard worker and has always made sure that me and my son had more than enough. also i think that having been through that being alone makes him appreciate us even more. but he was a good person to start with.
2007-06-25 05:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by fairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that just from being homeless before could make someone any less of a mom. Most if not all moms have a natural knowing of how to take care of an infant. I'm also pretty sure that there would be people to help her. (Family, friends, groups to give advice, or even nurses). So my answer to the question is "no". Being homelsss wouldn't deem her to be any worse of a mom.
2007-06-25 06:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this person would be just as capable caring for a baby the same as others. If anything this person has the possiblilities to be a stronger person after going through and pulling herself out of that kind of situation. Strength that she could pass onto her child. Tell her child all about her life prior and her accomplishments of getting back on her feet. If the mother shows pride and strength in who she has become then it will pass down to her children.
2007-06-28 07:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by ATLgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What doesnt kill ya makes you stronger!! I think she will be fine. She managed to make it through being homeless and has established a home etc. It will probably make her a better Mom - more responsible and mature.
2007-06-25 05:39:03 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don't think that being formerly homeless determines whether or not you are a good mother or not...I think overcoming something like that mightmake you try harder so that you don't find yourself in that position again.
2007-06-25 05:42:31 · answer #9 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the person...but in my opinion of "this" situation, i'd say since she'd been through so much already and worked so hard to get outta that..then odds are good she'd work just as hard to make sure her and her child didnt get back to that situation. if the daddy stuck around, then sure, it could make things a little easier, but if he didnt, then yeah, it would get pretty rough on her. But it sounds to me as though she'd be one tough cookie whod fight tooth and nail and make any and every sacrifice to keep her and her baby fed, clothed, and sheltered.
2007-06-25 05:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by jamlynne 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋