we aren't planning on getting married till august 8th 2009
2007-06-25 04:20:34 · 38 answers · asked by Megs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we have been separated for over 2 years
2007-06-25 04:33:26 · update #1
Perfectly fine
2007-06-25 07:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by whymewhynow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer that you should let the dust settle from a failed relationship before starting a new one.... and for so many reasons.
No matter what he did or how bad the relationship was, being engaged to someone else before the divorce is final is not only a HUGE slap in the face to your soon-to-be ex, but it also shows a total lack of respect to the marriage that you had. Even if he hurt you terribly and you think he "deserves" to be hurt, you should not stoop to this level. It only makes YOU look bad.
Let the dust settle from the divorce. Make sure all the loose ends are tied up. And if there are no kids involved, make sure you no longer have any contact with him before you embark on your new relationship.
If you are looking at 2009, you have no reason to rush the "engagement". It will show a lot more class if you wait before moving on.
Getting engaged at this point will look like you may have been carrying on an affair while you were married and that you disrespected your marriage vows and left your husband for this other guy. Even it that is NOT the case, that's what it will look like to people who do not know you.
2007-06-25 04:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is legally Ok to be engaged as soon after you seperate from your husband as you want, but you cannot get married, or apply for the marriage license until your divorce is final. Since your new marriage won't happen for over 2 years after your divorce is final, you are totally fine legally and your ettiquite is Ok too. If you wanted to be absolutely proper, maybe hold off announcing your engagement, it will be a fun little secret between you and your new fiancee, untli after the divorce is final. Also, if it is a messy divorce, your ex husband's lawyer may use it as ammunition somehow, so it may be safer to hold off making the announcement and wearing the ring at least until the judge makes the final declaration of divorce, then you can leave the courtroom and head the the marriage license office right then and there if you wanted to!!!!
2007-06-25 06:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by LoveWithNoBoundaries 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you didn't say how long you have been separated. That is the key. If you are just getting out of the relationship and have unresolved issues I would deal with that first. Some people separate and don't get divorced for years for what ever reason. If you are in that group I would say it is ok. Just wait until everything is final before telling the world. It may make you look desperate or tacky even if it is not the case.
2007-06-25 04:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by Meechie M 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Professional Advice ----
Yes it is okay to be engaged to someone else, BUT not publicly. Its tacky and gives off a bed impression of you as a person. You dont want people thinking you went from one marriage and got a divorce to be in another. Most of the time that is the case but is that really the reputation you want to follow you through your second wedding? I would suggest waiting at least 2 months after the divorce.
I have no idea how long you have been dating this man and if you ahve any children, if you havent dated that long and you do ahve children I would suggest waiting until your children have adjusted to the divorce. beucase getting divorced nad saying hey i'm engaged is to much for children to go through at one time.
2007-06-25 06:22:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call me crazy, but I dare not get engaged with anyone else until the divorce is completely finalized. It's just a few weeks away, so I'd say play it safe and hold off with future plans until July 12.
2007-06-25 04:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by Jago 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is legal for you to be engaged to another man. Keep in mind that until your divorce is final, your ex can use ANYTHING against you in a court of law, including another engagement, even if you have been seperated for several years. He can accuse you of adultery, even if it is not true.
2007-06-25 06:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by Heather P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it really is not okay to even be dating until July 12th. You are still married, separated is still married, just living in different locations. Really this is adultery and you have been unfaithful, even though you have been separated. Until the judge tells you otherwise, you are still married.
2007-06-25 06:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with it if you've been seperated for two years.
I wouldn't make it public knowledge (save-the-dates, invites, newspaper announcements, etc.) until the divorce is final because some might think it's inappropriate.
2007-06-25 07:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your fiance can consider yourselves engaged, but I would strongly wait until the divorce is final before spreading the word and/or sending out engagement announcements to the paper or anything similar.
2007-06-25 05:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's fine to be engaged, but don't make any public announcements until well after your divorce is final - in this case, I'd wait until like holiday time....
2007-06-25 06:23:51 · answer #11 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋