I recently was married and it was a low-key affair. Alot of people just a non-formal dinner and such. After the wedding and getting home we of course opened our gifts and after opening them I realized I didn't get even a card from my sisters(Who I am very close to).I am not really a materialistic person so the gift itself is inconsiquential. One of them contributed a great deal to the planning and setup of the wedding and while I don't know exactly probably some financial contribution. She is ussually very good about giving cards and such. The other is a little down and out with finances right now and did give me a card earlier so I didn't expect anything, My wife fears that things may have been lost in the shuffle. Do I question them and chance insulting them? or do I not and chance that if their card or cards got lost than other less forgiving guest may have also been misplaced and will not get specific thank you cards for their gifts?
2007-06-25 03:43:09 · 16 answers · asked by Unavailable 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'd send them a thank-you card anyway. Tell them in detail how much you love them and appreciate all they did to make your wedding special. Leave it at that. Unfortunately even if someone stole something there's not a lot you can do about it. We had people come to ours that didn't bring a gift or card. Their presence was all we wanted anyway. Tell them thanks for coming.
2007-06-25 06:07:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't question the card, i would question the gifts. if you don't have a specific gift you know is missing because of the giver, you may have an awful time trying to get this straightened out.
Because of the feelings involved, your new wife doesn't trust your sisters. Is it a cause for a lifetime of awful relations. Ask her the things she "thinks" are missing. If you can, replace it, like a mixer, etc.
Replace, go so far as to forge a card, as these are family things, include $10 cash, from your sister if she helped out a lot. You may be forging a thief's signature. For love, money, and peace.
Fighting about a card isn't worth the time and trouble. Gifts are of value, and your wife is apprehensive. She may be anxious about other things, how close are you and your sisters.
have they left you in peace following the wedding, do they call, or are things left without a good conclusion. Whom did the clean=up? Have a dinner, buffet, with your wife and sisters, you can figure it out. I would make the peace as soon as you can.
2007-06-25 11:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can match up all the gifts with cards, then don't mention it. If you have a few where the card went missing, then casually mention if she knows who gave such & such because you want to make sure to send a TY card, but the card identifying the giver was misplaced.
Other than that, don't do anything. People, even family, are not obligated to buy you gifts (or give a card.) If you don't expect it, all the better when you are suprised with a lovely gift.
Best wishes on your new marriage!
2007-06-25 10:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by retropink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you're not looking for a gift, but just want to be sure you haven't overlooked a momento, or something that you need to acknowledge. A similar thing happened to me at Christmas. We always gather at my sister's house, and everyone opens presents all at the same time. I didn't get a gift from my sister, which I knew was odd. So, I did mention it to her. It turns out that our niece, who has a similar name to mine, openend my gift, thinking it was hers. It found the right owner, I was happy and I got to thank her for a great gift. So, I do think you need to ask only so that if there was a card, it doesn't go unacknowledged. I don't think I would say anything to the sister who gave a card earlier as that is likely her full intent. But, I think I would mention the absence of a card to the other sister. And, of course, I would put it gently, like some previous posters suggested--something like "Thank you so much for being a part of our wedding day and thank you for your gift of helping with the wedding. We noticed there wasn't a card from you, and we weren't necessarily expecting one, but we would feel badly if it has gotten lost and we failed to acknowledge it." You know how she'll react, so phrase your inquiry in a way that won't offend her, or won't look like you're looking for a gift. You'll want to thank her both in person and with a card for her planning help, anyway, so that provides an opening to be sure you haven't missed soemthing else.
2007-06-25 11:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I don't think you have much of a choice other than to come right out and try to tactfully ask your sisters if they gave you guys a card. If they did, and it got lost somehow, then they will be upset with you for not sending them a thank you note. Maybe you can start out by saying that you never expected a card/gift from them since they did so much for the wedding, but tell them you were worried just in case something got lost in the shuffle. Hopefully they'll understand. But you really need to find out.
2007-06-25 10:48:39 · answer #5 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's just really bothering you and your wife, just ask in a subtle way.
You could tell them you think you've lost some cards/items from the wedding, and wanted to know if they'd sent one so you can be sure and thank them, and others.
Or, since they both contributed to your wedding in some way anyway, send them thank you cards for their help and support along the way. That should cover it.
2007-06-25 10:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just write thank-you for attending my wedding, it meant a lot to us that you could be there.
The person should be able to pick up that you did not receive their gift- this happen to me once and I called and said I got your thank-you for my attendance but did you get my gift?? In the shuffle- the gift lost it's card and they didn't know who gave it to them....
But again- the person has to be "smart" enough to get the gist of the thank-you.
2007-06-25 11:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since gifts are not required, I would not ask them about any "missing" gifts.
Just send them a thank you card for attending and assisting in the organization of the wedding.
2007-06-25 17:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, ask--its is a legit concern! Just say I know you helped, but we didn't get a card and I just wanted to make sure cause I'd hate to think I lost stuff in all the excitement!
2007-06-25 11:04:29 · answer #9 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got married I didn't get a card from my sister-in-law and I asked her about it. It wasn't like her to not give a card. She was so thankful that we told her because she quickly put a stop on the check and issued us a new one. I think your sister's card got missplaced. I'd definitly ask her!
2007-06-25 10:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Jellybean had her little bean 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋