How important is it to have a good relationship with your in-laws?

Answer 1

My mother in law lives with us, and she is the heart of our home.
Sadly my own mom passed away, so my mother in law stepped in.
I think it is very important.
Blessings

Answer 2

It all depends on you. Do you live with them? Near them? How large a part do they play in your spouse's life? How big is family for them? In Spanish culture we have those questions since the mother-in-law usually loves the husband and the father-in-law usually loving the wife.
One thing I noticed is that their likes and dislikes are based off certain things. For example, if you are a male and you want to make a good impression on the in-laws then you have to be loving and caring towards their daughter which will appease the mother. If you want to appease the father-in-law, then it's a matter of having enough money and a secure environment as well as loving and caring for the daughter. If you are a daughter and you are meeting his in-laws then things obviously change.
I have noticed that dads are happy as long as they bring and attractive "lady" to the house. In other words, dress nicely but respectively. Men are usually more concerned with looks. If you are attractive and take care of the man's son then you're in good. As for the mom, she can be the tough one. After all, nobody loves a son more than a mommy; I know, my mom is the same way. Every woman I bring home is never good enough for her. My mom wants an attractive woman for me so I can have beautiful grandkids. She also wants a woman for me who can cook, clean and pretty much just take care of me in every way, shape and form. Parents simply want someone to take care of their kids when they are gone and of course, a suitable partner alleviates their fears and lets them die in peace.
So, I think personally that a strong relationship between both families and the married couple is important---family first! =)

~J~

Answer 3

That's a good question. I've had in-laws that involved a poor relationship and I currently have an outstanding relationship with my new in-laws.....go figure! I like the idea of having a "good" relationship with in-laws but sometimes it just won't happen that way. Just knowing that the communication would be there in case of an emergency would be good enough for me. It takes both ends to meet in the middle. Let them know that you would like to have a good relationship and then the ball would be in their court but don't expect too much. Be happy with your closets family and friends. Life's too short.

Answer 4

I think it's great. My mother-in-law was my maid of honor. Now I know that not every mom-n-law is that great, but you don't just marry a person, you marry a family. How important is it to you to get along with your family? I think it's very important. Now, having said that, I will not break my back to accomplish this. In bad situations, just keep the peace. And I think it may depend a lot on how close your spouse is to his/her family.

Answer 5

I feel it is important. However my in-laws have not felt the same way. That have been tacky for the last 14 years. This didn't only hurt me but my husband tremendously. And all men have problems standing up to their mommys. If you have probems with your in-laws don't complain to your husband you set them straight when he isn't around. I finally did this the 13th year of our marriage and they have found new respect for me ever since. They may not like me but, there sure going to respect me.!!!!!!

Answer 6

It's very important for the sake of your husband & to help maintain a good family repore, but not at the expense of letting them run your lives. Showing respect is a two way street.

Answer 7

I guess it depends on how close your spouse is to their family. If your going to be spending a lot of time with them - I think it's important. My husband does not talk to this family so I do not have to get along with my in laws. We hardly ever see them.

Answer 8

I believe it's just as important as with your parents. However, human beings vary, even in-laws. There's many different personalities out there people don't seem to understand. There are good in-laws and the one's that are like brick walls. Most people who have NEVER dealt with both don't understand the opposing side. If you have in-laws who are genuinly good people, try and maintain that, because there's many out there who have difficult and/or mean DIL or MIL/In-laws.
As for respect, that is just nonsence that MOST DIL don't have respect . (GET A GRIP WISE GUY!) I am part Asian and respect is number one ESPECIALLY toward elders. I grew up learning that calling elders by their first name was a slap in the face. It was always Ms, Mam, Sir, ect. I couldn't get myself to call my MIL by her first name. She refused to let me call her Mrs. so I resorted to "Mom", it made her feel good. I honestly shouldn't have done that because my heart doesn't feel like she looks at me like her daughter at all. Like saying "I love you" when you don't mean it, just being nice. Anyhow, I did give respect my MIL in the begining. I still am careful how I talk to her. But, I suppose some of the rules seem disrespectful to her. And I've also told her not to talk about me but TO me if she's upset about something so we can fix it. It only creates MORE drama when my husband comes home and tells me the problem. I know the rule of "going through your spouse" but from my point of view, you wanna be "mom" so wouldn't you talk directly at your child. Inlaws are all about being treated like one's own parents so why should the rules change for the DIL or SIL? Treat them like your own kids unconditionally. (that does include cards and gifts) If they are pissing you off, you go directly to them right? I realize it may be uncomfortable but you can't ask for things if your can't deliver them yourself. Also, being genuine is so important. Children listen and watch in the begining, once they've learned you, how they react later is the result of YOUR behavior.

Answer 9

I think that completely depends on your situation. In my family it would be completely necessary as we are very close and anyone my daughters marry would have to be likable and would be treated as our son. But with my own parents, who never were part of my day to day life, it didn't matter. As it was, my mother prefers him, even as an ex, to me anyway.

My own mother in law was not a friend of mine, but i loved her. She died when my children were very young though. My ex FIL is an evil black hearted b*st*rd who ruined his own sons and passed on his alcoholism and personality disorders. We had as little to do with him as possible after my MIL died.

In my present relationship, my g/f's parents are older and she has chosen not to tell them, so I am the "best friend" and not included as family. She is not comfortable around my family, so chooses not to participate. Our kids, we have a 26yr son, a 25yr daughter and son in law, and 24yr old twin daughters between us, and a almost yr old granddaughter, are our lives and have good relationships with each of us and each other. It couldn't work any other way.

Answer 10

Personally, I'd put it near the top of your list. When I was growing up, I was miserable for years because of a rift between my mother and my dad's parents. It still continues on, and all of the family gatherings are very stressful. It makes it hard to enjoy visiting relatives.