My child has an imaginary friend...?

Question

He is four years old and the youngest of 2. His mother and I are divorced. We never fought in front of him. Neither was physically abusive.

He speaks of his friend regularly. His "friend" never hurts my son. My son will just say things like..."John did this, or John does that, or John has X.

He plays well with his older sister, and has a great disposition and has no learning disabilites. He is a happy go lucky kid, with a small anger managment prob,

To the few who pointed out that I did not pose a question: Thanks! But you know what, everyone else knew what I was getting at. Sorry you didnt. But for your sake, here is the question: How should I treat my son and this "friend"? Is this typical? Should I be concerned? Take him to a pychiatrist/pycholigist? Take your pick and stop wasting my time with your smart azz responses.

There are so many similar and good answers I cant choose just one. I am going to leave this open for YOU guys to decide...

Answer 1

Many children grow up with imaginary friends. You hear of it throughout the years. There are times that the "friend" is the child's way of coping with things they are going through. (Like a divorce) Then others are just part of an active inagination.
Be open enough to your child to be understanding and listen. It may be a new form of security for them right now. Ask questions about the new friend. (discretely) To learn more about the situation. Don't panic until you are given true reason to.
Sounds like he has a good Dad that cares about him alot. That's a great start!

Answer 2

Often children who have imaginary friends are only children, or oldest children in the family; but having an imaginary friend does not mean that your child is lonely. They are usually creative, imaginative children. As the child grows older the real world takes over and by the time the child is going to school the imaginary friend usually just quietly disappears.

Imaginary friends are a part of normal development and rather than being a problem they can help children to deal with some of the stresses in their lives.

Sometimes an imaginary friend can help parents to see where a problem is.

For example if the imaginary friend is afraid of the dark it is likely that the child is afraid of the dark and learning to manage her fears through the friend.
If the friend is always misbehaving and getting into trouble it may be that the child is having too may rules or punishments.
for more check: http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=1979

Answer 3

I'm no professional, but here's my opinion. I have very mixed emotions on this one. I believe kids using their imagination is great. And I hear that it is very normal for a young child to have imaginary friends, however, the only person in my family that ever had an imaginary friend was my little sister and she never "out grew it". So they so. She is an adult now and the doctors are telling us she either has a split personality or worse. So, I would definately keep an eye on this imaginary friend thing. It could just be a phase and it could be mental issues. I hope for the best and good luck.

Answer 4

First, before taking your son to professionals, you might want to try to find out where he found out about imaginary friends. There is a cartoon on cartoon network that he might watch or might have heard about at daycare, church or at the park from other kids. The cartoon is about a house full of imaginary friends that different kids have created and they come to live at this house when the kid's outgrow them or something like that. Even if he hasn't watched the show, if he watches cartoon network, he has probably seen the promos for the show. Due to the popularity of the show (and the game on the cartoon network website), he has likely run across other kids in real life that have "imaginary friends".
I don't think it is strange for a child to have an imaginary friend, especially now that it has become a bit mainstream for kids due to the show. I don't think you should be overly concerned and I don't think he needs to be sent to professionals.
I think you should just play along, in fact if you are open to the idea, you could literally play along with the imaginary friend and your son - on the foster's home game online if you wanted to. The game (Big Fat Awesome House Party) lets you create an imaginary friend (you get to choose a little about how the friend looks and you name him) There are "chores" to do in the house. (simple stuff like pick up socks or candy wrappers, empty the trash, clean up spills, check the mail, etc.)
I let my 5 year old play sometimes, it helped me transition him into doing chores around the house to help out. He only gets to play when he has done his chores successfully. He loves to play the game.

Answer 5

He must be a cutie. The imaginary friend is quite common and nothing to worry about unless he still has it when he's 15!
We had to set a place at the table every day for our son's imaginary pal. We accepted him in the car and also gave him a seat at the movies. Maybe it went a little too far? Didn't hurt him.

Answer 6

It's my understanding that LOADS of little kids do this. They do it for many different reasons, to deflect blame, get attention, practice the social skill of interacting with friends....

It doesn't mean he's got big problems, it could just be a child a play.

Try getting him into a play group and other similar activities. Perhaps having more choice of live friends is what will help say goodbye to his imaginary friends.

Answer 7

your son is so normal. It is not uncommon for a child to get a friend when there is a lot of changes going on in there lives. My second son got a friend at the time of the birth of my daughter. When everything calmed down his friend went a way. Don't worry it's how his mind deals with stress.

Answer 8

That's not too atypical for a child to go through a stage where they have an imaginary friend. It's just a stage and eventually his "friend" will become forgotten. In the meanwhile, try to get him to meet other kids his own age (besides his big sister.) If he gets a REAL friend, he might drop the imaginary one right away.

Answer 9

WHen my daughter was 5 or so she suddendly made this imaginary forend.. at first we were very concerned becuase like your son, she spoke about her firend ALOT! she used to tell us where we could and couldnt sit becuase we would SQUISH her friend.. she would make us say good morning and good night to her.. and we ALWAYS took her on vacation.. our pediatrician said it was perfectly noirmal so we just let it go. My daughter is now 9 and we sometimes ask her in jest.. hey whatever happened to ... and she laughs at us and tells us she moved to Canada!! LOL..

AS long as the relationship your son has with his "friend" is a healthy one and not abusivve in anyway.. I'd let him go on with it and even support his imagination by pretending too..

Answer 10

Sounds like the imagination of a well-rounded, intelligent, loved little boy. Now, if he's still talking to John when he's 13, you've got something to be worried about! :) Relax.. he's just more introverted perhaps than his sister, or perhaps that's where he feels most at ease and comfortable, is with 'John'..at least then, HE gets to control what happens.