Do you think its wrong to correct someone's grammer?

Question

I read this article today: Is it wrong to correct someone's Grammer on MSN: http://spotlight.encarta.msn.com/Features/encnet_Features_Columns_default_article_GrammarEthics.html?GT1=10056
Anyway, English is my second language so I speak english well 98% of the time. Well, I have a friend and sometimes when I speak to her and at times when telling her a story, and if I say a word wrong, she gets so fixiated on my grammer, that she misses the whole point (the big picture!!) of my story. Why do people do that? I feel like I'm wasting my time speaking to someone whom are uncomfortable to talk to when they become the "grammar police". Is it wrong to correct someone's grammar? If you were learning a foreign language is it ok for the native person you are talking to interrupt and correct you? What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

OH, i see how this can be annoying (as my friend does that to me all the time) but sometimes people think that it's best for you, so they dont really mean to get on your nerves, one day that stuff might come in handy. Although, if it's not your first language, then correction is ok, just nicely. Not rudely.

Answer 2

It really depends on whose grammar you're correcting. If you're at a business meeting with potential clients, I'd NEVER do it. You also shouldn't correct the grammar of your boss (or any other higher-ups) unless they're also a close personal friend of yours who consistently makes the same grammatical mistake(s). In the case of your friend, it all depends on how she phrased the correction. Was it "(Big dramatic sigh) Mary, HOW many times do I have to tell you--You use *I*, NOT *me*!? I'm getting really tired of telling you this!" This is wrong, and very rude. If she was tactful about it, she was probably honestly trying to help you since she knows you don't speak English as a first language, and she doesn't want you to go around speaking improperly. (Judging a book by its cover isn't a good thing to do, but people DO do it...myself included.)

Answer 3

Well, if you are learning that language and are not familiar with it, it is not bad for the person you're speaking to to correct you a few times, if it's sincere. It helps you learn. But they shouldn't correct you all the time. With that, they'll begin to see you not as someone who's learning a new language and making some mistakes, but as an illiterate person. They'll pay too much attention to your mistakes. And you type very well in English.

Answer 4

Hello,

So long as the corrections are constructive. How else is one to perfect their English as a second language if everyone lets your grammatical errors slip by? I have had many new English speakers from all different cultures ask me to correct their grammar as they speak and they get annoyed if I do not for the same reason. Similarily I also speak Spanish as a second language and a little French and I appreciate it when people help correct my grammar.

Regards,

Michael Kelly

Answer 5

Tricky. If it was a serious grammar mistake, I might correct u, but at the end of the story. Maybe she's just trying to be helpful to u, as English is ur second language. She might do it to be certain of what u are saying. I do it with spelling. I was taught to spell properly when I was a kid, & now when I see mistakes they really bug me.I've pointed them out on Museum displays & in bookshops. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I think it is OK to correct someones grammar if you are a teacher or an employer and you are speaking to an employee or a potential employee. I do not think it is nice to correct someones grammar in a casual conversation, as long as you can understand their point....it is appropriate to ask someone if you understood correctly and ask them what they meant. I also think it is OK to correct other people's slang terms too, since some things can have different meanings depending on where you are from, and correcting them can save them from an embarrassing situation in the future.

Answer 7

I don't consider it rude if the person corrects you politely. I constantly correct my boyfriend (though not in front of other's) because it is a fact of life that people will judge you on your grammer. It's an automatic assumption that if you say words incorrectly that you are stupid (when in fact you may be very intelligent) I know it's not right but that is how it is (and why I correct my boyfriend in private) I would never correct someone I didn't know, but in the case of ESL I think the person learning the language would want to know the correct way to say things... I know my spanish is very very limited so I am constantly asking for help and would welcome someone correcting me.

Answer 8

There are only two occasions in which it is OK to correct someone's grammar:

1) When you are the teacher in a classroom, and

2) When the person asks you to ... for example if they need help learning.

On all other occasions it is improper and downright rude to do so.

Your friend is not a good listener, but perhaps she (mistakenly) feels she is helping you learn?

Give her the benefit of the doubt, if you wish, but by all means ask her to stop correcting you ~ remind her you have books and classes for that, what you need from her is a friendly ear :-)

Good luck! :-)

Answer 9

If someone is so wrapped up in the grammar that they are not listening to the content, that is bordering on OCD. I do correct rarely, in a casual situation, but only people I know or alternatively, those who choose to spew insults.

I always say if you are going to criticize someones intelligence, best use good grammar and a spell checker.

Answer 10

I would consider it rude for someone to correct another's grammar. If, however, you are learning a language and you've asked that person to correct you, he or she is only doing what you've asked of him/her.

It sounds like your "friend" is a rude person. She not only offers unsolicited corrections, she's also interrupting you, another rude behavior. She may think she's helping you, or she may derive some sort of feeling of superiority from calling attention to your mistake.

If she's a good friend, you may want to speak candidly with her and tell her it's distracting you. If she's not that good of a friend, you may want to limit your conversations with her.