I am a bad parent?

Question

My bad parenting just reinforces the many true points of my miserable and pointless wretched existance upon this earth. All of them beign, One no one will love me because I have become such a catastrophic failure, Two I deserve every ounce of pain I recive because I am a catastrophic failure, Three I do not deserve any love for I am a failure. No one likes imperfections or weaklings which is why I have graciously volenteered myself to die a failures death. My son is better off without me I am a terrible parent. I do deseve to die...

I have pushed my son to do things he hates like sports and football, and for a while I hated him for it. But now that I see his pain...It just breaks my heart. I want my happy son back and I think I can achive this by killing myself so my son will feel liberated of my terrible presence

Answer 1

That is incredibly selfish of you. Try and think of the effect this will have on your son. You will ruin his life and he may in the future blame himself for not being able to help you.

Do yourself and him a favour and get help as quickly as possible. If not for your own sake then for the sake of your son. He will respect you more and learn from your strength in pulling yourself out of this rut. You wouldnt want him to follow your example would you?

Answer 2

You can do what ever you want but you should want to be there for your son. He needs love, your love.

He deserves some one there to help him to become an adult.

OK so you are or were a bad parent, & now you want to cop out & leave you son to who knows what.

You have done every thing wrong & don't even want to stay around & try to make things right.

You don't deserve to die, You deserve a good life but at this point it is going to take a lot of hard work..

Stop for a moment & reflect on your life & stay at it until you find some thing that you have done that you can feel good about. Then look some more & I feel that you will find the strength to go on.

Now you know the things you shouldn't do. When you stop doing what you have been doing it is a turn around & an improvement in your life by just not doing those things.

Make a note of the things you don't want to do any more.

Now you just need to find good things to do. Just one good thing for tomorrow. Then do that good thing & one more for the following day & just keep adding to the list.

Yes you can over come the mess you have got your self in.

And when you get back on the right track you won't feel as bad & if you keep it up you may find your self at a point where you will feel better about your self.

You know the things you shouldn't do any more, you have made all the mistakes & now there is only one real place to go & that is to look inside you self & get you act together & do the right things to undo what you have done.

If you do this, you will come to like yourself. Then the battle will be won.

Answer 3

First of all I am concerned about you and your mental state. I am serious when I say that you should seek some sort of mental health. While things you do may not be in your child's best interest, it doesn't mean you should die or that you are a failure.

The first step is to acknowledge your shortcomings and understand where you have failed. Second, speak to your son. This can be done in conjunction with a professional that can offer you both advice on how to overcome these barriers. Third, you must learn to accept what you have done BUT then move forward and stop dwelling on the negative actions of the past.

Here are some sites that can help you on your path of change and most importantly have faith that you can change your ways.

One of the sites is a listing of local parenting organizations nationwide. Hopefully you can connect with a local chapter for more assistance. You don't have to do this alone.

Answer 4

I am only going to say this once, so listen up and read every word! Kids do not come with instruction manuals. We all make mistakes with our kids. Your son does not need to see you like this. Get help, and be there for your son. Stop being so down on yourself. It is counterproductive! Your son likely needs you more than you know, or he will tell. You don't tell us your sons age. ANY PARENT WHO CARES IS BETTER THAN NO PARENT AT ALL. Got it. Now stop this, and go about loving your son for who he is. He will likely reciprocate.

Okay, I have read your other questions. Firstly, if you are a father who cares, how on earth can you hate your son? My son is doing things I cannot condone, nor am I proud of. I tell him, I am not supporting what he does, but never forget one thing, "I will ALWAYS love you". You might think of your son as a "dork", look at it like this. It's a dork who owns Microsoft! When he was younger, he was a pencil necked geek. Now he is richer than God!

You can become a better parent by being more supportive of what choices your son makes in his activities, and please do not tell him you hate him, and you are not proud of him. Is he that bad? He might not fit into your measuring stick. Try using another measuring stick, one that more closely fits your son. Lots of great, successful folks are not good at sports and things like that. That makes them no less valuable in society.


Let me give you a news flash, we all deserve to be loved by someone, no one can be such a failure that they deserve to die, and there is nothing gracious about volunteering yourself to die, and for pity's sakes, we ALL have imperfections, that's why we are human, and not God.

Answer 5

Listen to yourself for a moment. How do you expect a child to use you as a role model when you think and speak this way.

Pick yourself up off the self-pitying floor. Become involved in the activities your child shows interest in. Do not think or act as if it IS ABOUT YOU. Your childhood is OVER. Time to grow up and raise the child you delivered to this world.

Show pride in his or her interest in sports activities and organizations. Be supportive and encourage involvement. Help your child keep focused on grades and being socially active. It will help them to be well rounded and to develop a sense of self.

You cannot change the past. But you had better change the way it is ****-canning your present because if you don't it will affect your future.

Whining is for infants. Be an adult and stop thinking about yourself. Live for your children. Live for their future. Someday they will put a grandchild in your hands and you will see the fruit of all your hard work and dedication.

Answer 6

wow!!!
U r very paranoid person, but i think u just in the bad mood, u have to change that for Ur son. What? u want him to know that he's father died only because nobody loved him and he tough he was a looser, u will be a looser if u do that, trust me. Why u want to do that, u should be with Ur son now and think how to have fun with him, boys always need a father to look up for.
So get up and go see Ur son and play with him, and stop thinking about bunch of bull sheet, that is not true!!!

And stop thinking and care what other people say!!!

Answer 7

scary that sounds very familiar. take some time for yourself.. focus on something.. hell anything.. it could be on here.. just get your mind off of whats bothering you like that. don't do anything hasty though. remember, you are going through this because you care too much. theres light at the end of the tunnel.. even if it doesn't look like it now. Its difficult and my heart goes out to you and your family now.
I would consider talking to someone as well. It might help things. Stay active or it will feel even worse.

Answer 8

You need to learn to love yourself. Go to a counselor. You have issues with shame. I believe that is the root of all of your troubles. A counselor can help you with your shame issues and eventually things will take care of themselves. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Perhaps sitting down and having a heart to heart w/your son will help. Children are very forgiving and he will think more of you for admitting any mistakes you have made. It will show him that you are only human and we all make mistakes even parents. By doing so you are also showing him a valuable lesson in parenting.

Answer 9

You sound more like a kid than a parent.

You'd be amazed at the number of catastrophic failures who turn out all right in the end. Give it time.

Answer 10

No!!!!! you have a son now your job is to help him, teach him. If you think your a failure at somethings look at what you succeeded at. No child is better off without a parent. Weather you think your a failure or not your son needs you, try to teach him what you think you failed at, He needs someone to look up to.