Should I Have To Pay Her Back?

Question

A friend of mine invited me on vacation. Her family owns a summer home. So, we can stay for free. I don't have a lot of money right now and she offered to buy me my plane ticket and I would pay her back. For weeks I have been going back and forth about going on the trip. My friend knows I'm very low on cash right now. It's just not the cost of the plane ticket; but the cost of food and acitivites when we get there. The group of friends I'm going w/ come from very well off families. Money isn't an object for their fun. Usually, I have no problem going out with them. But, when on vacation, I can't back decline dinner plans so easily. If I'm home and have no money, I say,. "sorry, I can't make it to dinner tonight" on vacation I can't sit in the house while everyone else goes out.

Anyway, my friend gave me a deadline for getting the plane ticket. It was yesterday. She said if I didn't do it, she would go ahead and book it for me.

I said something like. "ok, but I don't really know. I'll have to see how much money I make this weekend" I'm a waitress. Well, this week was not very good. I've decided I can't afford the trip right now.

However, I have a feeling my friend booked the ticket. What should I do?

I have a feeling the ticket may be nonrefundable? Do I owe her the money still?

She never called to ask me one last time about the ticket. I mean, it's a nice gesture that she offered to put it on her credit card (i don't have one) but, at the same time. Should she have been 100% positive I wanted to go?

I did tell her money was tight. Did you not read the part above where I said, "she knew I was low on cash" That's why she offered to buy the ticket in the first place.

Answer 1

Have you told her that you are worried about not being able to afford the trip? Maybe if you were up front about everything then you guys could work something out, like a payment plan or something.

Ok, well if she went and booked the ticket without your permission then you should not have to pay for it. What is I bought you a car and expected you to refund my money, would that be fair? I think that you should have been a bit more responsible and told her that you probably weren't going to buy the ticket yourself to clear up any doubts she may have had, but you don't owe her.

Answer 2

You have a very nice friend. I also think you are a person with high morals. I say, go on the trip, let your friend buy your plane ticket, tell her you will pay her x amount of dollars per week for it when you get back. The money you have been saving to get the plane ticket you can use when you dine out and any other group activities. You have kept her on hold for quite awhile, trying to make up your mind on whether or not you would go. She has asked you several times but you never gave her a definite answer. Even if you don't go on the trip, i think you still owe her for the price of the ticket. Go and enjoy yourself. You have the rest of your life to worry about finances.

Answer 3

OK, I understand, money was tight, but you cannot wait until the last minute and expect your friend to phone you over and over to see if you want the ticket or not.

Knowing your own situation better than anyone, you should have said, right at the beginning "I would loove to come, but unfortunately I cannot afford it this time. Please ask me next time and I'll make sure to come then." That way, you have refused ~ but in a nice way.

Now, she has bought the ticket, the money is spent and she cannot get a refund. If you now say "Oh I did not really want to come", your friend might as well have got the money and thrown it in the fire. That is not friendly behaviour by you.

In this case, I do think you will have to repay the money, or go on the trip.

Even though others will have more money and be able to spend more, you could still enjoy yourself. Do some free things, and suggest to others that they join you!

For instance, if they say 'what would you like to do, we are going shopping', you could say 'no thanks, I'd rather go for a long walk on the beach', or whatever ... say it as though you will really prefer that and MEAN it! Go for the walk and have fun, seeing the sights, enjoying nature ... don't think only of money.

Let them do as they wish.

Some will perhaps come with you, and they will see that you have original ideas, are not only interested in money, and that it is possible to enjoy yourself without spending a lot!

Hope it workls out for you :-)

Best wishes :-)

Answer 4

Wow ... I feel for you....I tell ya I wish I was loaded I would send you that ticket myself! Your friend while kind is a little inconsiderate of your situation.
Anyhow call your friend quickly ( like Now ) and find out if she bought that ticket yet ! If she hasn't ... I know it's hard but tell her while you would love to go it's just not in your budget now or the near future.
If she has already booked it - See if its refundable . If it is offer to pay any cancellation fees and go ahead and cancel. If it's not refundable -That would be difficult.... Can your parents float you a small loan for the extra activities ? The plane ticket you could work out a payment plan for.
As for declining the going out to dinner ... You could always bring along a few good books and just say " im totally bushed tonight" " I think I will hang out here and just read"

Answer 5

Tell your friend that you cannot afford the "lifestyle" on vacation. That if she has booked your ticket for you, then you she must be paying for it. Tell your friend that you have put off buying the ticket, because it's not in your budget, and you cannot afford to go out to dinner with the group. Tell the friend, that you really appreciate the invite, but you are not in the same $$$$ status as her and the rest of the gang, and were going to decline this trip ...........even tho you really want to go. Tell her you are not a charity case. BUT-- you cannot afford this type of luxury at this time in your life, unless someone has a scholarship or you win the lottery!!!

Thank her for the invite.
If she booked the ticket, you are not obligated to pay.
be firm.
I hope this helps!
IM [e-mail] or email me

Answer 6

you just need to straight out tell them you dont have the money, and you dont want to be in debt to anyone. friends arent offended by this, they may be better off financially,,,but i think common sense/decency will orerride and tell them that maybe she just CANT do it this time. thank them for the offer, tell them you cant do it.

if the ticket was bought and non-refundable you can:
1. find someone else they know to join in on the trip instead,
2, bite-the-bullet and pay her for the ticket. she did give you a deadline of "yesterday" to tell her yes or no. she shouldnt have to continue to remind you after that. so just pay for the ticket and stop while youre ahead instead of accepting the ticket, and then wasting all your money on this trip that it doesnt sound like you can afford.
3 and when you cant go, remind them to bring the camera and take pics.

simple as that,,,,we dont have money all the time to join in on everything. theyve got to understand that

Answer 7

decline the trip politely, if she has already purchased the ticket and cannot get a refund then you should pay for it,even if you have to make payments to her. You should have been very firm and told her not to buy the ticket without a definite OK from you first. Since you kept waffling about it,you will probably be stuck with the bill.

Answer 8

I think you both made a mistake on this one. When she said something about booking your ticket by a certain deadline, you should've said "NO!" Do not book my ticket because I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. You have to be firm about things like this. Legally, I don't think she could force you to pay for it because there is no proof you agreed to buy the ticket from her. As your friend, she should understand that you can't afford it, and either give it to you as a gift, or go on the trip without you. It sounds like your friend was pressuring you, and you were too wishy washy.
You should call her as soon as possible and tell her you can't buy the ticket. If she already paid for it, it's really her fault for going forward without a definite confirmation from you.

Answer 9

Etiquette would say that you should pay her back. That being said Etiquette would also demand that you be more forthright with your inability to pay or go, and that your friend be more respecting of the issue without being insulting or belittling of your problems.

It is possible that if you are clear in your reasons for declining she may be willing to accept that you can't pay for the ticket and accept the cost.

If she only got the ticket yesterday it may be refundable, it may also be transferable, allowing you to defer the cost.

Also I would recommend that you no go on the trip for the reasons you outlined, nothing will kill a friendship faster then money problems, and if you go, she may add the costs of food and entertainment to a mental tab that could come back at any time.

Answer 10

I guess its really hard as you do not want to offend your friend, maybe you can both have the best of both worlds the first option is to ask her to send you lots of great photo's as you are worried about the rest of the money for the trip, as you do not have it right now.

option 2 you take the trip and arrange to pay her so much a week for the trip and work out what you can afford.

option 3 apology for any misunderstanding and suggest that she take another friend or family member