I am getting married this summer. I mailed out the invitations two months ago (its a destination wedding). I sent my aunt, who I really dislike -she is a prime candidate for Jerry Springer - an invitation with her and her sons name on it (at no point did I write "and guest") She in turn, sends back the response card stating there will be 4 people coming (her on again off again boyfriend who she knows I hate) and her friends daughter. I sent back a very nicely written note stating that only the names that are listed on the invitation are invited and not to invite people that I haven't. Either way, I found out that the 2 people I don't want there, still have every intention of coming. Not once did she ask me if they could come, she just assumed.And I know I shouldn't have invited her, but, I was obligated (thats a whole other story). My family is split over what I should do, any advise?
2007-06-24 21:31:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
that is SO rude. i hate people like that. extra people cost money and not to mention you want people you know and care about at your wedding, not strangers. you need to talk to her and say look, i want you two there, not these other people. if this can not happen, then i regret i can not allow you to come to my wedding. now that is the CALM version of what to say, feel free to modify it to your liking
2007-06-24 21:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you send another email, if not a phone call (if can't in person) and explain that due to cost, space and time, that the guest are un-able to attend.
If the guest show up, I would excuse the guest and the aunt to not be allowed to attend.
I am very strict on how people act in that manner. If she wrote back and said "sorry and possibly asked me in a kind, nice way" I would not be as strict. I would let it go and possibly find the room for the guests to be civil and humble.
Now, she crossed the line more than once. That is a new ball park now.
How do you know they are still coming? Have you spoken to them directly or even your aunt says they are?
If you spoke to them directly (others might assume themselves if you heard it through someone else). speak to them and let them know that you are sorry they can't come.
if your aunt told you they are still going, then she is now "un-invited" is what I would do.
You don't have to invite someone you don't want, no matter WHAT. You are not obligated, even if your parents or groom disagreed. You have every right and say who comes and who doesn't. Period.
2007-06-24 21:44:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, since it's a destination wedding, she may want them along for the travel part. I'd send her some travel brochures from the area and a note that says something like, "I'm sorry that we cannot invite your friends, but I thought I'd send these along, so that the people coming with you can choose something to do while you and your son attend the wedding and reception. Please call me if you need any other ideas."
If that doesn't send the message home, nothing will, and you'll have to post a bouncer at the door with the guest list.
2007-06-25 07:15:17 · answer #3 · answered by lawmom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wedding is in a few weeks and I intend to have an off duty police officer (also family friend) tend the entryway. If they aren't on my invitation and response list, then they don't get in. No exceptions. You've gone above and beyond and I think your aunt is trying to take advantage of the situation. Stand your ground. It may make her angry, but time heals all wounds. She'll get over it. Good luck and congratulations!
2007-06-27 08:15:26 · answer #4 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do you plan on having doormen or security at the door? If you keep telling her there's room for 2 only and they show up they can be escorted out the door. I was at a wedding in a big hall that had doormen because they had a fear of wedding crashers from other rooms. If you left the floor you had to have your invitation to get back into the party.
2007-06-25 09:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by Dig It 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are wrong to invite extra guests you could let her know its a family only event and that you only have enough seats paid for the people in which you have invited. You could let her know if she insists on him coming she doesnt need to as he was not invited. It may cause a long term problem with her and be hard to deal with but it is your day not her day.
2007-06-24 21:36:10 · answer #6 · answered by hourglass_beauty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the hotel. Do not pay for these uninvited guests.
I had something like this at my wedding, someone brought their daughter and her husband. I invited them with a guest. I didn't hate the people and it didn't really cost more since I had a few no shows. Just had to rearrange the table.
2007-06-25 03:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by no_frills 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're in a bind, no question, and your aunt has been incredibly rude, but you already know that. The only thing I can think of to do is move the wedding up one day (if everyone's schedules will allow that) and let everyone who's invited except your obnoxious aunt know.
2007-06-24 21:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing with sending the note. and its your day, so it should be YOUR way, not hers. I would call her up and be nice, but firm, and tell her that you wish she could come, but the other two people were not invited as you stated in your note to her. Its family ONLY. If she cant comply, then she cant come either.
good luck!
2007-06-24 23:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by J3NN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were obligated to invite her because she is the sister of one of your parents and they insisted then let them handle it. They can tell her that there is only enough seating for those invited and only enough food for those invited so she simply cannot bring guests. If she still insists then tell her she will need to provide you with $200 for each additional guest to cover the extra expenses and that you'll need it in advance in order to pay the vendors, maybe that will shut her up and change her mind. If you're lucky maybe she'll decide not to come.
2007-06-24 22:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋