What should I do???

Question

I want to go see my boyfriend of 3 years. And I can't tell my mum because she thinks we've broken up, because he doesn't like me being with him.

The reason why she doesn't? Well because she says we ain't a good match and that he ain't all that goodlooking and that I can find someone better. But we do love each other a lot.

So should I lie to her and tell her I'm going to see my friend when actually I'm going to meet him some place?

What do i do? HELP!!!!!!!

And we really really really want to see each other cause we haven't seen each other in ages.

PLEASE HELP!!!!

I won't be able to tell her. Because if I do. She won't let me out on my own again.

By the way I'm 18.

No, she hasn't taken the time to get to know him. Just seen him and says he ain't very goodlooking and can find some one better.

She won't accept it when I say it's my choice.

He's 20, no he's not married. We don't see each other much because of the distance between us and this is a true and real relationship. We're also engaged. LOL. And no one else knows.

Just a bond that we're staying together forever.

I'm in England.

Answer 1

I think you shouldn't tell her that your going to see him, your 18 so can make your own decisions. After you've seen him then maybe try to get her to meet him and actually get to know him so next time you wont have to lie and she will see the good in him. Hope it works out! :)

Answer 2

I really feel for you, this is a very difficult situation. I don't know where you live but at 18 in most countries would you not be considered an adult? The other problem is this, lies have a bad habit of coming back to haunt us, and sooner or later you would get found out and that would make the situation worse.

Is there someone else in your family that you could talk to who could perhaps also talk with your mother about this? And as you are now 18 - your choices in life for better or worse should be your own.

Answer 3

Sweetie you are 18 she can't control you or tell you what to do anymore, you are an adult now! She is obviously worried she is going to lose you and this is her way of keeping you with her, it's so wrong. It doesn't matter what she thinks of your b/f it's not her that is going to spend the rest of her life with him, it isn't her that is going to kiss him goodbye or spend day's out together, she is so wrong to do this to you, it's emotional blackmail! My daughter is 19 years old i haven't liked some of her b/f's but i don't tell her what to do i'm just there for her if she needs me! Thats wot your mum should be doing supporting you. For godsake you are 18 and you have been together for three years if that isn't commitment well wot is and thats you both in a long distance relationship which is a strain enough. It is your choice and she is going to have to accept it wether she likes it or not, you must tell her this, tell her the truth that you both never broke up that you are going to see him and that you will be coming back home after your break together if she doesn't like it she is going to have to tell you what options you have! You aren't prepared to give him up don't lie to her be honest make sure she knows you are in love and thats that she will just have to accept it and get on with her life and let you get on with yours. Good luck sweetheart enjoy your time with your b/f i truly wish you every happiness for your future, you ever need to talk i'm here i will always reply to your emails : )

Answer 4

Your old enough to make your own decisions now!!!!! If he was a drug dealing loser OK I could understand but if its coz of looks etc - who cares!! If you love him you love him!! No one can change that!! Be upfront and tell her if she doesnt like it then tuff!! Parents can be a little OVER protective!! But I really would be honest with her!! Even if she doesnt like it and goes mad you will feel better knowing that you havent lied to her!!!!!

Can you and him move in together?? Show your mum that it really is serious?? Maybe if she finds out you have been together all this time she will realize its not just a passing phase!!!

Good luck!!

x

Answer 5

your 18 and your mum is controlling your life!!!! why not go see him and get yourselfs a place together youve been with him 3 yrs so your serious and you should show your mum just how serious you r i cant beleive that your frightened of your mum that is so no not a good thing does she control everything you do? i say move in with your fella if things were to go wrong then you can move back with your mum dont stand her pulling you down make your own way in lefe hun.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 6

uuhh Maybe your mom don't like him for other reasons and is just telling you hes not attractive. I must say that a mother's intuition are correct most of the time. Maybe your mom is just strict with you? anyway do as YOU feel and if your in love nobodies advice would help you but your own so good luck!

Answer 7

you are old enough now to make your own decisions. My mum never liked any boys I went with. I am 31 and have been with my husband now for 12 years. him and my family have more fall outs than the army. I just perservered and they had to accept my decision. Don't tell your mum about any troubles you ever have or she will just gloat on them. (a tip my granny told me cos my mum told her). Looks aren't everything. personality 1st then kissing 2nd. looks is a bonus. If you really love each other the just stick with it.

Answer 8

If you lie to your mother about this, eventually she will find out and she will never completely trust you on anything ever again. And if you ever need her advice, you won't be able to get it because you're still living the secret. You're better off defying her openly than in secret.

Come on. Be a woman about it.

Answer 9

Unrequited love oh, i'm crying over here!

The fact that your mother is judging your fiancee solely on his looks is just not on! Tell her she is shallow and judgemental, you obviously love each other and you are 18 years old. You are an adult. Go See Him!

Answer 10

Tell her you got a new boyfriend and he's much better looking! Tell her that her opinion really matters to you.

Then bring your man round to see her after making sure he looks his best.

Tell her this is your new man. Rinse and repeat until she understands that you're not giving up