How do I wait?

Question

I have been seeing a man that is going through a divorce. We both have agreed to keep it casual until the stress of the divorce is finalized. I want to be a friend to him first and foremost... and we both agreed that we want things to be mellow and stress free.
I think I have fallen for him and now I find myself kind of sad about it all. That when you finally find a great guy, and you can't tell him how you feel. I have to hold back and be the cool chick that gets to see him every so often. We talk almost everyday on the phone and text. And see each other once in a while... and now I want more. But I have to wait.

Any suggestions on how to make it through this period of the relationship?

He is worth it. He is a kind, sweet, handsome, and all around nice guy. When I first met him I said no way.. he is too nice of a guy and I wasn't that attracted to him. Now that I gave him a chance... I have fallen. I usually date the jerks... so I don't want to loose this one.

Answer 1

This is going to be really really hard because its human nature to be selfish and think of yourself first, but what he needs right now is a friend to comfort him, he doesnt need a hot and steamy girl on top of him because that will do nothing more but confuse him. You know that you have to wait and you know that he's worth it so its just a matter of sucking it up, he'll come around at some point, he'll see that hes got this great girl that stuck by him through the pain and misery of the divorce. Congradulations on finding one of the few decent guys in the world :]

Answer 2

I think you are really in a difficult situation. You need to remember that people going through a divorce are usually not ready for another serious relationship until about a year or more after it is final. People who are "going through" a divorce, don't always finish going through. They go back. You should really spend more time thinking about your other interests in life and put this guy on the back burner. Spend time with other people and other activities and don't spend it thinking about him. Unfortunately, in relationships, timing is everything. It may just be that you two met at the wrong time.

Answer 3

My you are in a tricky situation, most married people don't want anything serious for awhile once they have parted from a long relationship, so I say wait til he is ready which might mean him seeing others for a while, but then i have known guys to jump into one relationship straight after a failed one. so what do you do?
i think maybe you need to sit down and have a chat that would allow you to find out what he really thinks and how much he is hurting,as this will be a good indication on how he is dealing with his situation and feelings, if he is really hurt then you need to wait while he deals with this, if he is dealing with this pretty good then maybe he is ready. if he thinks alot of you then things will go further on his time but i'm sure he wouldn't make you wait to long..

Answer 4

Don't push him. Last thing he needs is a needy woman tightening a noose around him again. Maybe tell him how you feel and fish around to see if he feels a similar way. But really, if he's going for a divorce, you have less chance than a lone salmon in a Grizzle preserve.