Question for Catholics and other religion-saavy people...?

Question

I'm head over heels crazy over a particular guy... he's sweet, sensitive, perfect, attractive, everything I could ever want in a guy... And no, I did not just meet him, I've known him for over a year and I have absolutely no doubt that he's THE one.

A couple of minor details, though... I'm Catholic, he's not. He's divorced. These things don't bug me at all, because we respect each other's differences. However, I've had some people tell me that Catholics can't marry non-Catholics within the church... also, there's the little rule about divorced people remarrying becoming adultery/fornication?

I'm sure there must be some way to work around these things, STILL get married in the Catholic church (my family will shun me if I don't) and NOT get excommunicated....

Any help or suggestions greatly appreciated!!!

Answer 1

+ Marriage +

The Catholic Church allows marriage between Catholics and non-Catholics.

Because the Church recognizes the tremendous challenge that the interfaith couple will face, they may have to get permission from the bishop.

http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2chpt3art7.htm#1633

+ Nullity +

All previous marriages, civil or religious, have to be dealt with before someone can be married in the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces.

Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9)

However there may be hope of a declaration of nullity.

The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond.

Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present.

Then the parties are free to marry for the first time.

Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese.

Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while.

+ With love in Christ.

Answer 2

*Is Catholic*

1. A Catholic can marry a non-Catholic. Not a problem. Certain instances such marriages might not be recommended recommended though.

The religious background of your guy does matter. Basically what the Church will be looking for is that this guy will not be trying to make you leave the Church or will get in the way of raising your children Catholic. Talk to your priest. Get the OK (called a dispensation).

2. A sacramental marriage cannot be divorced. You must find out if your guy's first marriage was sacramental. If either party of the first marriage was a baptized Christian (doesn't matter if they were Catholic or not) the Catholic Church will assume that the marriage is sacramental. The Church will not marry you until the first marriage is proved to be not sacramental. This is the annulment process, which you should start now rather than later.

If the first marriage involved no baptized Christians, then it was not a sacramental marriage and thus it is divorcable. Though be sure to make this point to the priest and be able to prove it.

3. The "little rule" I have found never to be expressed quite right. The sin in "marrying" somebody who left his wife via divorce is multifold. First, you couldn't be married in the Church, something that you as a Catholic are required to do, so the marriage conducted elsewhere would be a sin of disobedience to the will of Christ, second, the marriage as falsely conducted would be the procurement and preforming of a false sacrament which would be a sin against the Holy Spirit, and third would be the later sin of adultery because you are not married to that individual, which is of course a sin against the real wife as well as the Father by whom the oath of the first marriage was ratified.

Answer 3

There is nothing to stop you marrying a non-Catholic in a Catholic Church apart from the fact that he is divorced. Divorce is a legal separation but the Church does not recognise divorce. You can, however, apply for an annulment. Even though your man is not a Catholic, his case will still be heard sympathetically by the Marriage Tribunal within the Church. The circumstances of his marriage will be investigated and he could well be granted an annulment.

Contact the Marriage Tribunal and make an appointment to see one of the judges. You will find they are friendly and sympathetic and will do whatever possible to help. It might be that there are no grounds for annulment but you would be surprised how flexible they are these days.

My sister is a judge on the Tribunal so I know what it is all about even though I'm an atheist.

Answer 4

You're letting people dictate to you if a person is right or not? So let's say you do listen to them and you loose him, then what?
Human beings do not have answers to serious things as this. Pray and consult the Lord and He will give you the right and true answers. All the answers that you will be given on here are mere opinions, that's it.
You're Catholic and He's not.......The Bible says if a believer wants to marry a non-believer let them marry because the believer may save the non-believer. But now I do not know whether he's a believer or not.
He's divorced.....why is he divorced, is it because his exwife cheated on him? If that is the answer then he is free to marry you and it is not adultery. If he's the one that cheated on her while he was married to her then you are both committing adultery and his ex-wife is free to marry anyone else. If they divorced just because they thought things are not working out and they felt unhappy but non of them cheated on each other then whoever it is that they are involved with is an adultery.
And marrying a divorced person is not a "little rule" as you so put it, it is very serious and since it's a sin to commit adultery it can send you to hell. I have no suggestions, but I just told you what is in the Bible and if you decide to go against the Bible/God..........

Answer 5

Does HE want to get married in the Catholic Church? In this day and age, that is important. The sacred vows of marriage are not just trappings of the Catholic religion. If he wants your way of life, religiously speaking, he can convert, and there are ways to "get around" the problem. What you have to ask yourself is whether Catholicism is what you want or need to pursue your relationship. Honestly, if he's THE one, God has chosen him for you, and it will work out. Pray. Talk to God. Every Christian religion believes in this practice. If your religious dogma is stronger than your relationship for THE ONE, don't marry him.

Answer 6

First its sad you and your family are so bound by the religion of Rome.

If you'd like to know what the Bible says about this, I can help you, but I'll need to know more about why he was divorced. Perhaps it would be best if you told me what he told about why he was divorced and then tell me what his ex wife would say and then tell me what the judge said about it.

I'd also like to know if you are a virgin.

And if the two of you have ever done it, and yes I'm talking about sex.

It would also be helpful to know how old you are, how old he is and how he was when he got married and how long the marriage lasted.

You can answer my questions with additional comments or via E-mail.

Then I'll either ammend this answer or reply to you via E-mail and that's your choice, you tell me how you'd prefer to handle it.

By the way, I'm a Bible believing Christian and I'll annotate my answers from the Bible.

And, remember, I too have been thru a divorce. A divorce I did not want and a divorce I could not prevent.

So I've studied this questions, 16 ways til Sunday.

Pastor Art

PS: I'll even talk to you about this via telephone if you like.

Answer 7

I have a friend that go's too a Pentecostal church.They where both divorce from there previous marriage.Go for marriage
counseling first. And study the Pentecostal religion.I've been Pentecostal since I was 21yrs. old. I'm now 27.What I've learned from that religion is that god is an awesome forgiving
God.

Answer 8

Im Baptist but I think I might be able to help.
here are some questions for you

Why is he divorced? Deut. chapt 29 and Matt chapt 5 or 18 I dont recall without looking it up.
In order to have a great marriage you must be evenly yoked, meaning of the same faith. is he a Christian and are you willing to convert?

When you answer these questions then and only then you may be able to persue this man..

Good luck and God bless

d

Answer 9

Talk to your friend and make an appointment with your local parish priest and talk about an annulment or declaration of nullity. You could also call your diocesan tribunal.

If the Catholic and Non Catholic are free to marry,then they can marry in the catholic Church. Catholics marry non Catholics in Catholic Churches all the time.

Answer 10

It's mostly up to the individual pastor these days, talk to your priest and ask him if he'd be willing. But alternate faiths shouldn't matter, I know a few Catholics that have married others outside of their faith without problems.