I can't go on any longer, please someone help?

Question

I don't even know where to begin with everything that is seriously wrong in my life. Recent events would be that my father, who was my best friend, passed away over this past winter, when I was only 19. I got laid off at my job and the bills are stacking up, I have been dating my GF for over a year now and her father and 3 brothers show me no respect what-so-ever. I have tried everything, I don't do drugs or drink, I am a well respected active member in my community and alot of ppl I know like me. But her father feels the need to badmouth me about everything behind my back since we started dating, and now tonight he was attacking the fact that I wasn't catholic, but a lutheran. I can't take these feelings of hate any longer, I miss my father so much and it seems like there is no hope. I am scared to commit suicide, even though I am a strong believer, I fear being cast into hell. I don't know what to do, please

Answer 1

I don't know you, but I feel for you. Please click on my avatar, and it will direct you to my email and IM. Email me or IM me if you want to talk to someone. Buddy, it sounds to me that you really need to talk to SOMEONE!! I am available for you if you really need someone.

Otherwise, I suggest counseling, ASAP!!

Answer 2

Hell should not be the only thing stopping you. If it was you would think you could just pray for forgiveness first, really hard, and then it would be okay because you would go to Heaven. The other things stopping you besides Hell are important: your girlfriends pain and anguish at losing you, all your friends pain and anguish and missing you, any pets that may be dependent on you going to an animal shelter and being put down because of you, the physical pain involved in dying, the terror of death, the possiblity you live anyway a million times worse off, there is a lot more than Hell stopping you I hope.

Can you and your girlfriend just leave? Just take off somewhere, live in your car, wash dishes somewhere, and just pick up and go? For a few weeks at least to think and sort things out. Just getting away from it all for a week and you're a new man, or forever, you don't know if you'll come back. Do you some good, an escape. Try escaping, but don't kill yourself you are all you've got really. You should be your own best friend.

Answer 3

I think you should talk to someone about this, it isn't good that he is bad mouthing you because you don't have the same beliefs as him. I'm sorry to hear about your father but he is now at peace. The bills will always be there. I got fired and my bills got behind to the point were 6 months later I still am behind and thinking bankruptcy! I understand but you can't just give up! This is life and it's the way it. There is always a silver lining. I know it doesn't seem this way now but things will get better. As for your girlfriend I can say that if the family doesn't like you then it puts strains on the relationship, if she is good to you then confide in her and call her instead of committing suicide. Think of how she will feel and think of your mom as well. Think of how God would take this? I don't know if Lutheran bibles have the book of Job but you must read it, it will help you understand Gods reason behind everything gone wrong in your life. He believes in you!

Answer 4

In Mexico, they call suicide "la puerta falsa" - the wrong door.

Unless you are clinically depressed - which you might be, given your current situation and recent loss - toss the suicide idea immediately.

If you are in a hopeless downward spiral of emotional distress, find a competent psychiarist and get help. At the very least, call a suicide hot line and talk to someone over the phone. There are trained councelors on the other end of the phone that can talk you through a crisis.

It's hard to believe that in this day and age, there are still religious bigots that find one religion inferior to another. But, consider that when you marry a girl, you marry the whole family. I know, I know - frightening thought. But, unless your girlfriend is willing to completely disassociate herself from her family, that family will be part of your life with her. She had better be worth it.

Hold onto your faith. Seek the advice and counsel of a local pastor - that's what they're there for. Attend religious services. Get active in any young single adult activities of you congregation - and get your girlfriend involved, too.

Find a job as soon as possible, not so much for the money as for the self-respect that a man achieves by being employed. Live below your means so that you can pay off your bills and get out of debt. If that means selling off some personal non-essential belongings, do it.

Nineteen is young to be thrown into the situation that you find yourself. But, trust me, this too shall pass. I lost my father at the same age, and it was tough. You can do it, however.

Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 5

Ok , now suicide is out, your problem really is not as bad as you think, it is how you react to it, and proceive it that is makeing it so bad. Lot of people have gone through what you have, and they got through it ok, without having to think about committing suicide. As for your fathers death, yes you are still greaving himk, and let you grieve him until you are done doing so. The job you can always get another one, just don't give up and looking for one. Now your girlfriends family, well just tell the father he can say the things to your face, instead of talking behind your back. You know a lot of guys get that kind of treatment from the brothers, and father of a girl, that is the way they are protecting her, and no guy is going to be good enough for her. You will understand that part when you get married , cause parents think that way about sons too. One real problem you have is you are not Catholic, and they are, and proably really strong believes of the chruch. Even though the Lutheran is after the Catholic chruch, they did not worship the virigin mary, and a lot of other things that it says in the bible not to do. Most of the norweigen you meet are Lutheran. Now Catholic like a lot of other chruches believe you should marry into your chruch, not have a mixed marriage of chruches. So that is going to have to be a something u two are going to have to work out between you two. You really need to find some way to relax more, cause you are just stressing yourself out, and it just keeps making every thing worse for you. So if you r this depressed then you need to be seeing a therapist of some sort. And work through these problems, you could even get her father in to therapy to work out the difference between you and him. Maybe he can shade some light on why he treats you the way he does. But what you are talking about here is something i think everyone has gone through, or will in some part of their life, and you need to learn how to deal with moments like these, even if you need a professional to help you with it.

Answer 6

I don't know what to tell you about all the problems that you are having with your girlfriend and her fam, and it is also bad that you lost your job but all that is small compared to your life. You should be afraid to kill yourself because you will go to hell. There are always other options besides death. You need to take some time to yourself and figure out where you want to be and what you want to do with the rest of your life. You can make your life better but sometimes you're tested and you just have to see yourself through the storm and you will begin to see your life turn around. For a start try to get any job you can to hold you over until something better comes. As far and your GF's fam you're not dating them you're with her and you should only care what she thinks. If she doesn't want you I'm sure someone else would love to have you. Single life can be fun until you find somebody else. Good luck and stay alive

Answer 7

I'm very sorry to hear about all of the issues that are piling up. I've been suicidal myself and you have to understand that things really do get better. First off, your father. That is a very sad issue, but wherever he is, I am sure that he cares about you very much and loves you. The last thing any loving parent would want from their child is for them to give up on life. It's a hard struggle, but you have to keep going!

Secondly, the bills and your job. I'm sure there are always people you can lean on for help and there are always ways to get out of debt. Most Americans are in debt and most Americans have trouble with their bills! But even more important, you can always get a new job! Perhaps a change of scenery can be a good thing. So in other words, there are options out there for someone in your position; options that don't include suicide.

Finally, your girlfriend's family. To put it simply, who cares about them? There are always going to people in this world who are not going to appreciate you for who you are, even if they have no reason to do so. Honestly, people are just sometimes nasty and you have to be able to just see past that. If you care for your girlfriend, then so what? Keep treating her well and loving her and things will improve eventually - whether on account of their behavior or if you just stop caring about them. And honestly, them not liking you for being Catholic is just pathetic. That is just sad they are like that, there is nothing wrong with you; there is something wrong with them. By hurting your feelings they are not living according to the examples of Christ.

I assure you that in life, things just go wrong sometimes! You can get past them though because there is light at the end of the tunnel! Things do get better and you will be happy that you stayed around! My suggestion is to talk things through with a professional ASAP, even right now. You can get through this! Just breathe and work hards towards a better tomorrow!

Answer 8

Honey, don't - look at how many random people here want you to live! If your girl loves you, it doesn't matter what her family thinks, you'll find a way. Think of her.
Grief is very hard. Can you talk to anyone in your own family about how much you miss your dad? If your dad was looking down at you, you know he would never want you to feel so sad. Be brave for him.
Maybe you could look around a bit for some other work to help you catch up on bills and take your mind off things for a bit.
Hugs! I hope you turn things around soon - you're still young and you have time to have a happy life.

Answer 9

Many people are in a situation similar to yours. Sometimes the best thing to do is start over. Imagine how much in life you can enjoy; wouldn't it be better to start over instead of ending your life? Life has so many opportunities and so many friendly and nice people, it's astounding how we can all feel alone and hopeless.

Don't put off killing yourself for fear of hell, stay alive for the amazing opportunities that await should you follow them. If you plan on killing yourself, you would loose everything. Wouldn't it just be better to start over and live a better life, maybe in a different town?

If your girlfriend's family is as bad as you say, talk to your girlfriend and tell her that things are just not working out; that you'd be better on separate ways.

Remember those dreams you had when you were a kid of the job you really wanted? Chase those dreams. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a totally different rout than the one which is causing you so much pain. If you wanted to be an astronaut, be an astronaut. A movie that will really inspire you is "The Pursuit of Happyness". It's based on a true story and shows that anything is possible, trust me, you need to see it.

Ultimately, the decision is yours, but I encourage you to live your life. There are so many things to live for. Start your life over, don't end it.

Answer 10

OK. first thing is to calm down. I am very sorry for your loss, as i know how it feels to lose a Father that was like my best friend. It gets better with time. You will never forget you Dad and you have all the good memories of him. For the GF problem You will never win their respect they are a bunch of bullies. You may want to break it off with her or just stay away from her family. You don't need to take that crap from anybody. As for your Job, your young I am sure you will find something soon, just keep looking.

Answer 11

You'd better fear being cast into hell.... an eternity of horror isn't worth getting out of pain for a lifetime.
I would suggest you go to the closest Children's Hospital and begin to reach outside of yourself...to see if you could offer some strength to someone who might just be suffering as much --- or more --- than you are.
In this new environment, you might find a new job, &/or a new friend,
Her father is a very unhappy man...and I wouldn't give him any credance to anything he levels toward you. He should know that the Lutheran church was begun by a Catholic (Martin Luther), who died with a broken heart, because he never intended to cause (or help cause) a split with the church (he merely wanted to stop Rome from keeping jewels and other riches when so many poor suffered. The feelings of hate are not yours, they are others (the ones who exhibit them) and their Karma is theirs to fear---not yours. Keep your Faith...God ALLOWS things to happen for a reason, and your duty is to allow God to let that manifest for you, when HE is ready (in HIS time, not in your time!)
Now, go see how you can make someone else's life better!---and you will, in turn, make your own better in the process!
Blessings to you!