Question for catholics and other religion-saavy people...?

Question

I'm head over heels crazy over a particular guy... he's sweet, sensitive, perfect, attractive, everything I could ever want in a guy... And no, I did not just meet him, I've known him for over a year and I have absolutely no doubt that he's THE one.

A couple of minor details, though... I'm Catholic, he's not. He's divorced. These things don't bug me at all, because we respect each other's differences. However, I've had some people tell me that Catholics can't marry non-Catholics within the church... also, there's the little rule about divorced people remarrying becoming adultery/fornication?

I'm sure there must be some way to work around these things, STILL get married in the Catholic church (my family will shun me if I don't) and NOT get excommunicated....

Any help or suggestions greatly appreciated!!!

Answer 1

*Is Catholic*

Loads of bad answers above. Here is the right one.

1. A Catholic can marry a non-Catholic. Not a problem. Certain instances such marriages might not be recommended recommended though.

The religious background of your guy does matter. Basically what the Church will be looking for is that this guy will not be trying to make you leave the Church or will get in the way of raising your children Catholic. Talk to your priest. Get the OK (called a dispensation).

2. A sacramental marriage cannot be divorced. You must find out if your guy's first marriage was sacramental. If either party of the first marriage was a baptized Christian (doesn't matter if they were Catholic or not) the Catholic Church will assume that the marriage is sacramental. The Church will not marry you until the first marriage is proved to be not sacramental. This is the annulment process, which you should start now rather than later.

If the first marriage involved no baptized Christians, then it was not a sacramental marriage and thus it is divorcable. Though be sure to make this point to the priest and be able to prove it.

3. The "little rule" I have found never to be expressed quite right. The sin in "marry" somebody who left his wife via divorce is multifold. First, you couldn't be married in the Church, something that you as a Catholic are required to do, so the marriage conducted elsewhere would be a sin of disobedience to the will of Christ, second, the marriage as falsely conducted would be the procurement and preforming of a false sacrament which would be a sin against the Holy Spirit, and third would be the later sin of adultery because you are not married to that individual, which is of course a sin against the real wife as well as the Father by whom the oath of the first marriage was ratified.

Answer 2

+ Marriage +

The Catholic Church allows marriage between Catholics and non-Catholics.

Because the Church recognizes the tremendous challenge that the interfaith couple will face, they may have to get permission from the bishop.

http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2chpt3art7.htm#1633

+ Nullity +

All previous marriages, civil or religious, have to be dealt with before someone can be married in the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces.

Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9)

However there may be hope of a declaration of nullity.

The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond.

Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present.

Then the parties are free to marry for the first time.

Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese.

Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while.

+ With love in Christ.

Answer 3

Your friends were right - non-Catholics are not allowed to get married in the Catholic church. There are also churches which will not allow an individual who has been divorced to get married within that church.
Speak to you family and tell them how much this man means to you and how you know he is the one with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. They may not like it at first but will hopefully come around in time when they realize what he means to you.
You shouldn't have to choose between your Religion, your family and this man - each of them are obviously important to you. And since you are talking about marriage, it seems that the religious difference between the 2 of you haven't come between the relation - and that could have been a hard situation to deal with. You seem to know what you want and I wish you the best of luck with everything and hope that you find a way to sort it all out without having to give up anything.

Answer 4

You need to go talk to the priest at your church. He will explain what has to happen. You and your bf are going to have to jump through a bunch of hoops and maybe even pay some money over the divorce issue but he will tell you what you need to do. Then it is up to you if doing the whole Catholic thing is worth it or you just want to start going to a different church and act like normal people without all that BS and $ getting in the way. I suggest joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (yeah, I am a Mormon)

Answer 5

In Matthew 5:31-33 and Matthew 19:1-10, Jesus tells us that divorce is not acceptable, except in the case of fornication. and anyone who marries a divorced person is guilty of adultery, as well as the divorcee.

I don't know anything about getting married in a Catholic church, but it sounds like something that would be accurate, or steeped in tradition. however, you seem to be too early in the relationship to be worried about it as of yet.

good luck.

Answer 6

I'm not catholic, but my grandparents are, and my great grandmother left & divorced a physically abusive husband.

It didn't matter that my great grandfather wasn't able to marry her in a catholic church, because they loved eachother more than that mattered.

It's just dogma, & patriarchy & oppression wrapped up in tradition.

True enlightenment & connection with the almighty goes beyond the rules of men.

Answer 7

Come on be smart, obviously his EX wife thought he was the one. Now look at the two, you cant know anything without experiencing it first hand. If he is legally divorced, date him for 2 years, after that see if he will convert to being Catholic. If not, then you have to choose God or this "man". Choosing God is the only intelligent thing to do, God will never lead you wrong this "man" just might.

Answer 8

I dont know if you could still get married in the CATHOLIC CHURCH.However The BIBLE SAYS
Confess your sins and you shall be forgiven.And dont repeat them,.Id say you might as well get married anyway if your in love and maKE confessions of the sins.However it might not be a marriage in the CATHOLIC CHURCH.
Hopefully if you get married you will both take your vows as a promise ..............in sickness and heath ,,untill death do you part.( not divorce.
good luck .........PEACE BE WITH YOU BOTH

Answer 9

Ask your priest...I believe you both can attend something that the priest can then bless your wedding. Foolish, isn't it? Since Christ was the one who died on the cross so that we didn't need priest (remember the Pharisees?) to intercede for us, why don't we just go directly to Him? I'm sure with some monetary obligation it could be "approved". Just my opinion.

Answer 10

i wish i could help but im not a catholic, im a christian, and we dont follow man made traditions, we follow the bible, and the bible doesnt forbid marrying a divorcee