My husband treats my daughter like a girlfriend, gives her money- like $100 if she wants, takes her shopping, lets her get away with lying and staying out late.
He spends little time with me. My husband yells at me and throws fits if I insist on some structure. It wastes a lot of my time and energy.
I remove priviledges if she lies or doesn't stick to the plan- where she's going, when she'll be home.
Then Dad says it's OK. Teen hates me. I love her, I drive her to her social things, school, have sleepovers, bringing her cold drinks, hanging out around the house.
I know she has to be her own be her own self, but I can't get my own work done because of the chaos.
Any tips? Leave them to work it out without me?
2007-06-24 18:58:03 · 7 answers · asked by Eve 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think the problem is that your daughter has been spoiled for her entire life and if he suddenly stopped spoiling her, then it would become fairly obvious to her and drive her to become angry with him for some time.
Also, I think he wants to maintain a close relationship with you and her, but he doesn't even realize what little attention he is paying to you, so therefore he keeps hanging out with your daughter more time and time again.
It's good that you recognize the problem and you are trying to set some structured layout out. They both sound a little immature to me. Just wait til she gets to college...she'll have a hard time being Miss Spoiled.
It's all a part of being a teenager.
Good luck! ;-)
2007-06-24 19:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by lildevilgurl152004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and hubby haven't been on the same page regarding child-rearing for quite some time. I don't know how old your daughter is, but she needs structure. It's proven that kids thrive on structure, discipline, consistency and a united front that is mom and dad. Most important is that you and hubby have to have the same rules and expectations for daughter. She has split the 2 of you. She actually sees both of you as weak, you because you have no say and daddy because he won't say no. You can bet she tells all her friends she can get whatever she wants from dear ol' dad and mom doesn't dare say a word. She has both of you right where she wants you. As her loving mother it would behoove you to gain back some authority in your own house or see your daughter grow into an entitled, ungrateful woman who will have difficulty finding happiness because no one will put up with her attitude.
2007-06-25 02:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound as if you are a jealous step-mother, not a concerned parent.
If you are truly concerned, remind the dad of how he would feel if she came home pregnant one day. Every child needs structure. They actually crave it. If she is your biological daughter, you will reap the rewards for your efforts later when she is older. If you are the stepmother, there is little that you can do other than encourage the father to be more like a parent, and less like a buddy.
Whatever you do, don't put yourself into the position of being in competition with your daughter. Parents love their children unconditionally. It is not the child's fault that the father is not acting like a parent, it is his. Take your frustrations out on the person that is to blame, not the child.
2007-06-25 02:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You husband is doing her a big disservice by acting this way. I know he wants to keep her happy but daddy isn't going to be around forever and she will have to make it on her own.
For anything to be effective, you can't be put in the spot of having Dad override all your decisions. It makes you look like you have no authority over her.
Tell your husband that he needs to knock it off.
2007-06-25 02:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes honey,
Sometimes people don't know what they have until they loose it.
This husband of your need to be thought a lesson. Your daughter seems to be spoiled by your husband.
You seem to be disciplinarian and your daughter secensts that. Try moving out without letting them know where you will be. Keep in touch with your mom or someone to keep you aware of what is going on.
Your husband doesn't know it, but he is doing you more harm than good.
2007-06-25 02:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by lilia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put your foot down with your husband more than with your daughter. Teens need limits and a united front. Get him on board or get rid of him, by utilizing a good lawyer.
2007-06-25 02:10:58 · answer #6 · answered by PDY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but you're daughter sounds like a spoilt brat but by the sounds of it, its not your fault. Your husband is encouraging this behaviour. You might want to talk to him about his treatment of her. I'm not trying to be nasty, but if you don't take some action, your daughter sounds like she's going to be another Paris Hilton.
2007-06-25 02:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lighthouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋