So let me give you a little background. My Fiance and I live together with my daughter, and last xmas his family came b/c they knew he was going to purpose. His sister, bil, and new baby stayed at our house, and his mom and step-dad stayed at my future sil's. I was feeding 11-13 people. Everyone was in my house, eating, and causing messes and whatnot, and nobody helped me do the dishes or pick the house up except my fiance. His sister, bil, and neice had asked to stay with us (which is not a problem in my book. They are both in the wedding, and it would be fine with me.) I told my fiance that I was worried, that the week of the wedding, I was going to be picking up after them, and told him, I was concerned about that, since so many people are coming, and going to want to see our house, I would like it to be presentable. He backed me up 100%, and she said she understood, until yesterday. Now she is getting a motel, and bitching to his whole family. Am I being a bridezilla, was it ok?
2007-06-24 16:44:33 · 14 answers · asked by Mrs. 26 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, I think your fine. It's not a matter of even picking up after them (which I completely understand), but even more of a matter of having some personal, alone, down time.
Part of your job as hostess is to care for your guests. Doesn't matter how clean or neat they are. They are guests in your home, so you will still be doing a majority of the work. You don't need that a week before the wedding.
Secondly, you are going to be in people overload. Between your family, his family and your bridal party; your going to want some time to yourself.
The retreat is home; however, when you have guests you can't relax the way you want. I know when I'm relaxing at home, I wear my most comfortable holey sweatpants, I have no makeup on and my hair is all tied up in a mess. When I have guests, I have to take the time to even look physical presentable.
Just tell your in-laws you need to be relaxed and calm the week before the wedding. It's only nature to want to be alone in your own home.
2007-06-24 16:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You and you're fiance are right and you are not a bridezilla. Geez she should be the one doing the work not you. Anytime I have every stayed with friends or family I pick up after myself and help with all the chores. It is the only polite and respectable thing to do. You cant be worrying about taking care of other people who are capable of it themselves a week before your wedding. You will probably have a lot of little details to take care of and be under some stress. Even if you dont you still need to be able to relax and get stress free. You should ask her why she is upset that you want her to pick up after herself and her family so you dont have the added work and stress.
2007-06-25 04:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not being a bridezilla. A bridezilla is someone who has unreasonable demands. You are no being unreasonable.You have enough to deal with with the wedding and all .You should not have to play maid and hostess as well. This is your week to get last minute details done and have time to relax before the big day. If you ask me she is being a silzilla and who needs one of them especially so close to YOUR day. For get about her let her talk , she made the decision to go to a motel , not you, at least there is a mid there. Congratulations and enjoy your day!
2007-06-25 01:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by misstee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being unreasonable to expect people to pick up after themselves!! Since your future SIL has shown that she has no respect for your home or time then I see no problem with addressing your concern with her. Instead of your SIL being shocked at her own behavior in the past she is mad? She acted like your house was a hotel to her so let her go stay in one!! You do not need that kind of stress before your wedding.
Let her talk, she has been in that family longer then you so they know how she is anyway. I just wouldn't invite anyone else to stay with you. It would just send her talking again to the family about you. Just take the time at home with your own family (fiancee and daughter) and get ready to get married. There will be enough going on and since she is already steaming about this, hopefully it will blow over before the wedding. It is your home and you have every right to expect people to be respectful of it, no matter what time of year or what is going on. You are in the right on this one (you are not her maid, and if you went to her home and acted the way she did she would be apalled) Hold your ground on this one. She is testing you, if you break you will never live it down. You are being a reasonable homeowner, not a Bridezilla.
2007-06-25 00:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by hotelmajor 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are soooo far from a Bridezilla!! I have a problem with family that puts more pressure on the bride and groom when they already have the world on their shoulders! And you have a family yourself! good grief! Your home should be your safe haven, things are crazy enough. If your in-law's to be can afford a room, they should get one. If they can not......then their family members should "double up". You can remain as calm as you can, your daughter will be calmer....your fiance will be happier for sure! Hey, this is the time when you find out which in-laws will be come out-laws! You have a wonderful man, congrats!
2007-06-25 01:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you have every right not to want to be rushing around for everyone before the wedding, and that's far from being a Bridezilla!!
2007-06-25 09:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally your day. I can't believe how family seem to think that it's about them. A wedding is already stressful enough, and you want to enjoy it, because it is so special. It's about making you and your fiance happy and whatever it takes - it's probably one of the only times in your life you can get away with it. It'll be better with them in the Motel. You'll need your space. Don't worry about them. They'll get over it. Have a beautiful and wonderful day on your wedding!
2007-06-24 23:56:14 · answer #7 · answered by beachlee 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You aren't being bridezilla...NO ONE should ask to stay at your house the week of your wedding..it seems like the family is being somewhat selfish...you have so much on your mind that THEY should be asking what they can do for YOU instead of you having to worry about how they'll be acting in your house. Tell her so...she needs to know that it bothers you that she would presume to stay at your house the week of the wedding and that she's rude for talking to the rest of the fam about it.
2007-06-24 23:52:32 · answer #8 · answered by its about time 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That doesn't seem like a huge burden to me. Having that many extra bodies around right before the wedding would seem to be an unwanted stress. You weren't being a bridezilla in my opinion.
2007-06-25 01:07:01 · answer #9 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, I feel that you are not being a Bridezilla. Grown people should be considerate enough to clean up after themselves. It's not like they are really guests because they are family. Don't worry about it, let them get their motel, that is less that you have to worry about. Good Luck and Congratulations!
2007-06-24 23:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by MISS 84 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋