My boyfriend and I have been together three years.. He is 20 and I am 19.. Recently his mom has been acting a little weird.. It was my birthday and he asked me if he should order tickets to a local baseball team for the 4th of july ( It always sells out ) I was like yes! because we had talked about going, fireworks and fun stuff etc.. His mom heard and said " You aren't going to grandmas?? You don't know how long she'll have to live!" He's never went to his grandma's on the 4th before.. even he was confused.. Then last night she comes in his room at like 12:30 and is like when are you bringing Heather (me) home.. and he's like after the movie.. why?? and she didnt answer and walked away.. Then the next morning she said to him " are you going to church with me? " He said no.. and she was like "so you can spend all night with your girlfriend and not go to church with me??" Im confused because we've always gotten along well! ( Me and his mom ) Think she feels like shes losing her son?
2007-06-24 15:32:21 · 12 answers · asked by Live HAppy <3 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Oh contraire..
This has just recently occured!
We've always always gotten along.
She has even invited me on several family trips to Disney and Cape Cod & such..
I'm thinking she feels I'm a threat to her and her son's relationship.
2007-06-24 15:44:34 · update #1
It could be that your boyfriend's grandmother is nearing the end of her life. Death is a scary subject for many people and, perhaps, even the mention of death to your boyfriend's mother is making her feel frightened and paranoid. She feels she needs to do something to bargain with time (i.e. going to church, spending more time with the grandmother, etc.). In short, your boyfriend's mother fears that someone (perhaps it isn't even the grandmother) is going to die soon and she is having a difficult time dealing with that reality. The problem, it looks to me, has nothing to do with you or you boyfriend. It has everything to do with the mother's fear of death and dying. Often, when people are faced with the prospect of losing a loved one, they will become moody, lash out, and not act like themselves.
If you feel you are close enough to your boyfriend's mother, perhaps you could ask her if there is anything going on with her or the grandmother. She may just need to talk to someone about her feelings on death and dying. If it turns out that someone is dying, you may want to recommend to your boyfriend's mother a book that has been very useful to me in the past: "On Death and Dying" by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
The book details the stages of dying from both the perspective of the person who is dying and the perspectives of the loved ones who are losing a dear friend, family member, lover, etc. It deals with a incredible sensitive topic in a wonderfully sensitive and classy way.
2007-06-24 15:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Eames 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes i think she is feeling a little jealous , not the kind of jealousy you would feel if he was spending time with another girl, but the kind a mother feels when the closeness she had with a child is absent, don't take it personal, look it's obvious the lady like you, she may just be nervous about the intensity of your relationship lately... Advice: since you have had a good relationship in the past see it for what it is, and talk to your boyfriend , gently explain that you think maybe his mom is feeling a little neglected, And encourage him to spend some quality time with her, or family that may make her feel happy and reassured, you continue to be respectful towards her (and remember all of this is earning you points with the b/f, he will think your super sweet). She is not your enemy so be secure in your guy and tell him he needs to pay a little attention to MOMS.. Keep the peace it will be easier on all of you, Now if she just plain out doesn't like you then again your boyfriend will see how you tried to respect their relationship(mother & son) And he will be more likley to stand up to her if she bad mouths you to him when your not around.. Family is hard to work with some times but in the end is worht the extra effort!!! Good LUCK!
2007-06-24 23:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by Magic 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. My boy and I have been together for 2 years, I'm 25 and he's 30. His mum has always been hot and cold with me. She loved me at first, then when we moved out together she went cold and referred to me as his "appendage".
We moved in with her a month ago to save money. She won't tell me if I do something wrong, she complains to him instead. But she also complains about him to me. My boy says she is like that to everyone, even him and not to take any notice cause she is just letting off steam. She is really nice to me sometimes so I don't know what to expect.
I don't know what her problem is, I think she is just very judgmental of everyone and I just happen to be there alot.
As long as you and your boy are happy, no one else should matter. One day she will see that he loves you and you make him happy. She will come around eventually.
2007-06-25 00:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by LisaMaree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the mother of a 26-year-old son, I can tell you that it's very difficult when you feel you're being ignored for a girl. It's certainly not that I want my son to stay with me forever (no WAY do I want that!!!), but I do think that I deserve common courtesy, and sometimes when he is with his girlfriend, he forgets. If I were you, I would make sure that he remembers to do things for his mom, and is always courteous to her. If he's unkind or inconsiderate when you're around, it would help to point it out to him (either privately, or as sort of a joke, depending on which you think would work better for the situation). I guarantee that if his mother thinks that she's not getting tossed by the way, she'll be a lot friendlier to you.
2007-06-24 23:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
After 3 yrs she's just beginning to act like this.R u sure u haven't did something or said something to her to make her whole attitude change towards u. And then again maybe she is jealous of yall relationship. But who cares as long as yall r happy with each other.Maybe he need to consider getting his own place so that yall could c less of his mother.B/C he next move made b to break u guys up.
2007-06-24 22:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by pleasant 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
maybe she is realizing that you 2 might be having sex and that means she could become a grandma and it scares her, especially because of the church comment. Maybe she was snooping in his room and found condoms or something. He needs to talk to her and ask her what is going on. This is between the 2 of them and you should just be polite and nice to her till she gets over it.
2007-06-24 22:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by bubbles 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Oh yeah, she is feeling threatened now. I can't figure out why since you have been with him for so long; perhaps because you both are getting older and are no longer children whom she can control.
2007-06-24 22:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by Patti C 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It was OK at first. Now it looks like you are there for the long haul.. She is feeling a little threatened..
2007-06-24 22:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by BigWashSr 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Middle Age Crisis by Ms.MaMa
Congratulations . . . It is embarrassing, but it is every mothers trip @ some moment, when its about her son.
But as I understood you are not with her, so . . .
2007-06-24 22:41:01 · answer #9 · answered by LoveMe2timeS 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok....Well ask her whats wrong maybe she wants him to spend time with her and her family but if thats not it ask her whats wrong and why she is acting wierd.
2007-06-24 22:43:53 · answer #10 · answered by crazyasianchick 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋