I don't wear shorts?

Question

I don't wear shorts in the summer or hot weather and I wear long jeans and pants all summer long,
not that I don't have nice legs I just don't want to show them because I don't want people to stare or guck at my legs, also i'll feel naked and like um in my underware. My best friend Wendy who is also 13 lives across the street from me. She also doesn't wear shorts either in the summer, both are Moms are constanly nagging us to start to wear shorts. Today me & my Mom went across street to visit Wendy and her Mom (Mrs. Beck) My Mom & Mrs Beck wearing their short shorts and scandals and me and Wendy were wearing pants and sneakers. Wendy starting complain how hot it was and that her thighs are sticking to her pants. my Mom & Mrs. Beck told Wendy that you should wear shorts, Wendy yelled backto her Mom and She said " I hate shorts and they look dumb", And I'm not wearing them" Mrs. Beck then said she was going in to make some lemonade for us and she told Wendy to come in help her We started to hear to Mrs. Beck & Wendy yelling at each other, I peaked in Wendy's bed rm window Mrs. Beck kept repeatingly telling Wendy to take her pants off, and put on some shorts that she bought for her.
A couple of minutes later Mrs Beck came back out with the lemonade and Wendy came out right behind her
Wendy was wearing short shorts and pair of scandals too. My Mom told Wendy" Now you getting smart" you got nice legs and look good wearing shorts. Wendy told us her Mom made her put them on . Now Wendy looks just like My Mom & Mrs Beck.
then My Mom spilled a glass of lemorade on my jeans, and she said the glass slipped, I went home to change
into another a pair of jeans and When I got in my room, my Mom came in and she was holding a bunch of new pairs of shorts
and she said I went shopping with Mrs. Beck, now it's your turn to put on shorts, she said it's too hot too be wearing pants all the time, how would you handle this ?

Answer 1

You're 13, right...?

Do as your mom requests. The more noise you make, the greater the argument will become.

When you are an adult, you can wear what you please.

I'm telling you this because I had a similar argument about hair length; my mom cut my hair off very short, although I strongly objected.

Now I'm an adult, and I have grown my hair down to my underpants.

Answer 2

I hate shorts too. I'm 25, and I've tried them a few times over the years but never felt comfortable. I love my jeans even when it's hot. I have 3/4 jeans in case it's too hot, and some skirts.

My grandma gave me a dress when I was about 12 that was low cut at the front. My mom convinced me that it was supposed to be worn the other way round, with the low cut bit at the back. I must have looked ridiculous but mum used to take me out like that! I only found out years later. Parents have a skewed view of what looks good.

It sounds like your mum is giving into peer pressure not you! LOL. Just say "Mum its my life and I want to dress how I feel comfortable. I don't wear jeans cause I think I'm fat or ugly, I wear them cause I like them. Please respect me enough to let me make my own decisions"

Good luck!

Answer 3

It's too hot to wear jeans all the time! And it is true that when you grow up you will regret not wearing shorts when you were young and had the best legs you'll prolly ever have.
I don't like showing my legs either, but it is soooo hot, that you look funnier wearing jeans!
And yeah, you should use some kind of reverse psycholgy on your Mom, like try wearing your shorts EVERYWHERE, or very short or something(within reason)or pick your favorite pair she bought you and wear only those everyday this summer.lol
just stop thinking that everyone is focusing on YOU and-------HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

I think that at your age you have the right to wear what you want to as long as it is not inappropriate, too revealing, or harmful to your self. In your case this might not be inappropriate, and perhaps the opposite end of too revealing, and you are not hurting yourself or others in your choice.

What you have here is a power struggle. Your Mom and Mrs. Beck want you and Wendy to conform to what they want you to wear and you and Wendy do not seem to want to wear what they want you to. I am sure in their mind they think they are right and are trying to manipulate to get you to do as they want.

They tell you that you "should" wear shorts, Mrs Beck yells at Wendy, telling her what to wear and your mom says shes getting smart because she is doing as she is told. Also if an issue for you two is being stared at, telling you have nice legs for people to stare at doesn't help and really convinces you otherwise.

Your mom spilling lemonade on "accident" sounds like her trying to get you to change. She also is buying you shorts like Mrs Beck did and telling you to wear them imposing her opinions of dress on you.

The problem with this is that the harder they try, the more you would want to do the opposite as what they want as they are trying to control you and people do not like to be controlled.

I think there are some fundamental issues that you can address to help your problem.

1. You and your mom
I think that communicating to your mom why you don;t feel comfortable and how it feels when your mom pressures you to something that you do not feel okay with. Telling her that what she is trying to do is not working and the real issue is that you don't feel comfortable in shorts, so talking about your legs, how hot it is, etc is not the issue and is not making a difference. Your mom might be able

2. Working together instead of working against each other
You and your mom could shop together in a way where your mom and you feel like you have some input, but in the end you have the final say, perhaps the two of you might find something you could agree upon that is no at the polar opposites that you are at now. Right now the power struggle is bringing tension as you have separate goals. The problem is that you mom may not be able to go shopping with out imposing that she get her way, and you can tell her that.

3. Your Mom and Mrs Beck
It sounds like the two of them are talking and working together and having similar opinions and using strategies. Your Mom may be influenced by Mrs. Beck or feeling pressured into changing you as what Mrs Beck did in forcing Wendy to wear shorts worked for her. Perhaps bringing this issue up with her mom that your not wanting to wear shorts should have nothing to do Mrs. Beck and Wendy. When other people talk about things that make us feel self conscious with others, it results in us feeling more self concious.

In the end your mom needs to know that what she and Mrs. Beck are doing is not working and not meeting your emotional needs even thoguht they believe they are right.

Answer 5

Not to sound rude or anything but both your mom and this "Mrs. Beck" sound like a couple of perverted freaks. I have never heard of ANYONE ANYWHERE EVER saying ANYTHING like that to their own kid and being so pushy about it and also commenting on the "nice legs" unless it was some pedophile. My advice is to either try living with a different family member or talk to a counsellor somewhere to find out what you can do.

Answer 6

Well you can do whatever you want I guess but please believe your legs will look better now than when you're older and you'll look back and say "why didn't I wear shorts?!" Don't worry how they look, have you been out in public and seen some of the people that SHOULDN"T be wearing shorts? Just wear the shorts, it's summer!

Answer 7

If you don't want to wear shorts, you shouldn't have to. Your mom means well but she really shouldn't pressure you this much, as long as what you're wearing is appropriate you should be able to make your own choices at your age.

Answer 8

I'd wear shorts.. they dont have to be super short.. what about even capri's or bermudas? Don't worry about people staring at you.. who cares? I had a friend who did this til she was about your age.. she grew out of it. Do you think the jeans are like a saftey net to you? I'd consider the shorts, honestly.

Answer 9

Well if you really hate shorts try long linen or other light weight material skirts they will still allow you to be covered but will also allow you not to be too warm during hot weather... or you could just try the shorts you might like them

Answer 10

Personally I couldn't stand to wear jeans in hot weather. Wear the shorts, would be my advice.