How would u take it?... 11 yr old son' has his 'first girlfriend'?... I am trying to stay calm about it

Question

I, protective mom, just want to know if it is a wise decision for me to 'trust' the two? Yes , so far they seem to be in a group, but u never know what could happen...

Answer 1

What's to get upset about? Good grief, get a grip -- if you are this upset when he's 11, what are you going to be like when he's 17 or 18?!

It will last a month, at most. The best thing for YOU, Mom, is to not take it too seriously. It's not a bad time to talk about appropriate behavior with girls, if you haven't already, but don't make more of this than it is. I don't mean to belittle it -- I just mean that it shouldn't be given more importance than it deserves.

As the mom, you have the right to set limits on your son's activities, and I, for one, would not allow him any behavior that mimcs older dating behavior -- i.e., allowing them to go to the movies alone, etc. I'm a strict mom, so for me, that also includes not allowing opposite sex in bedrooms when they visit.

Right now, they probably just talk a lot on the phone and do a lot of MySpace or IMing. It's a first step in trying out boy-girl relationships -- don't put yourself in the role of hysterical mom, because you will find yourself cut out of the communication loop so fast it will make your head spin.

Answer 2

I have a 12 yr old, and so far he has had at least 5 "girlfriends" never anything serious. Right now the biggest problem is her calling. I would have to say that right now there is nothing to worry about, it is more of a right of passage for them and not a relationship.

Answer 3

11 years old, and nice enough to have his first girlfriend. Give him a great big hug. He deserves it. He wants to become a man, with a wife settle down, and raise a family. Pretty normal. Nice=looking and friendly too.

Thank goodness it isn't his first marijuana cigarette, his first ecstasy tablet, his first drive=by, etc. There are so many things out there, I would be tickled to death, if my son's first girlfriend was at 11 years old. Talk to other moms, you know your son is a go=getter. don't make him conform to be "average" if he wants the things which will allow him to prosper later in life. He pays attention to his dress, and his manners. Good enough. Someday, you may get to meet her properly. Let him become a nice young man.
There is so much out there with firsts, and they end in dismemberments, sixteen year olds, boys, frustrated with moms whom wouldn't let them have their girlfriends, they needed a job, a car, everything else first, they explode as happened near where I lived a few years ago. A nice boy, 16 yrs old, finally got a job, he was liked, and everyone knew and talked about how nice he was, he liked this girl forever, and was finally allowed his girlfriend after begging his parents for goodness knows how many years. Begging for a girl and his parents said no. His "girlfriend" he waited so (too) long for ended up dead and dismembered behing the place he finally got his first job.
He will get his first parole hearing in about ten years, and until then mummy and dad can love him to death. It's the truth.

Appreciate your son's efforts, he may be advanced in social skills, don't make him a (sociopath) wait.
Let him have his girlfriend, smile, and praise him. You'll discourage too much if you can't calm down. Talk it over, and allow your son may be extraordinary in planning his life.
If everything else is normal and satisfactory, allow it.

Answer 4

Just be thankful he dont have a boyfriend.
As with everything else, your boy is growing up and is going through a new stage. Of course trust them, until they break it and cannot be trusted. If u tighten the leash too much, he will break it.
Good luck to u hun.

Answer 5

I would just keep an eye on the situation for now. And if the boy needed to know something, I would be ready to give help when it was called for.

Answer 6

It's probably just puppy love and it will only last for at most a year. I would only be really worried if the girl was a lot older than him

Answer 7

Can you provide some more details. What exactly is the problem? What are you trying to stay calm about?

Answer 8

talk to him in a friendly environment and try to usual for these things because he is a growing boy may be if you react strongly so there can be gap in your relations

Answer 9

you dont have to worry.people his age are trying to impress their friends. i doubt it will last a week or month. they most likely just dont talk or eat lunch awkwardly together. somebody will end it.

Answer 10

as long it is a group situation for him it would be just fine and well supervised