My mom read my journal and found out i had sex...I'm 19 and it was protected with my b/f. My parents are really upset and my dad is not even speaking to me. The thing is, my parents are over-protective and have never allowed me to go to parties, i have to go to early movies, i'm not allowed to date or pretty much do anything my friends can do. When i ask my parents why they say "Because we said so!" And they have never ever talked to me about sex or told me they wanted me to wait for marriage. EVER. We have never been to church as a family. My dads not even a Christian. Do they have a right to be mad??
2007-06-24 14:02:30 · 25 answers · asked by luvandlight 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Obviously, you come from a very "protective" family. You are 19, and a legal adult, but breaking those apron strings can be very difficult. You somehow have to find a way to feel like an adult and get them to understand that you are an adult so that they will start treating you like one. Demanding the respect you deserve is hard but important.
As far as them having a right to be mad -- I don't think that is the right question. They don't have the "right", but it is certainly reasonable that they are. They are your parents and want the best for you, and they feel devastated that their "little girl" did something that they think is so bad for her. They also had thought they raised you to wait until marriage, even if they never had the discussion with you, because they never let you date or run wild. You just need to make them understand that being a good girl is not synonymous with being a virgin.
2007-06-24 16:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by crjesq 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your situation is what happens when parents act as yours have. Being so over protective certainly can backfire. At age 19....you should not be treated as though you were 12 y/o. Your parents don't make it easy for you to share things with them & that's a shame. What a shame that your mother felt it was her business to invade your privacy & read your journal. I guess you will think twice about what you put in your journal from now on won't you? Your family seems to be dysfunctional & that's a real shame. I guess they feel justified in raising you as they have, so that's why they're mad at you. As soon as you can, get out of the house & get out on your own. You need to be able to live a normal life.
2007-06-24 21:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, your 19 years old, your parents have absolutly no right to be reading anything personal of yours!!... and no they have NO right to be mad at you because you had sex with your boyfriend. they should be lucky that you are some trap like a lot of the teens these days and be satisfied that you actually waited until you were 19 to have sex and to have it with someone you have a relationship with and not some prick of the street corner... my mother use to read my diaries as well. I told my dad and he made me a box with a lock on it. i now hide my private stuff in there! get a safe or something and lock your diary up, show them your an adult and they cant get into your business without you permission!!
good luck
2007-06-24 21:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by nicole m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are legaly an adult. "because I said so" might work with a 5 year old but they need to talk to you and explain their problems with what you are wanting to do etc. If they have never talked to you about sex then they have no right to judge because they didnt give you the low down.
Stay safe and keep using protection!
2007-06-24 21:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Miranda's Mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they are just a little upset that you took an adult step. At 19 years old it is legal for you to have sex. If you live in their home, it is their rules. I suggest you move out, or if you are not in college apply and attend a college and live on campus if you can. You are old enough to be a little more independent now. Good luck! :)
2007-06-24 22:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did it happen in their house? If you want privacy, get your own place. Of course, they're upset. They don't want you to get hurt or do something you're going to regret. Are you willing to suffer the consequences for having sex? Maybe your parents are questioning that as well. Sit down with them and tell them how you feel. Listen to their feelings as well.
2007-06-24 21:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on their values. If sex before marriage is against their values, I suppose they have the right to enforce their own values in their own home. That's the hard part about living at home as an adult.
2007-06-24 21:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by ryet_grrrl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mad, upset, disappointed....all normal feelings that you should allow them to have...they probably expected you to wait until marriage...but they should have had these type of conversations with you before now...give this time, allow them to have their feelings, then talk to them about your decision...they sound very overprotective, they want to keep you safe in this big bad world...but you are old enough to make some of your own decisions whether they like it, or agree....but if you are living in their house, you have to follow their rules...privacy is a priviledge of the house...not a right...
2007-06-24 22:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by mago 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have a right? They're your parents. They're going to get mad when you hurt them whether they have the right to, or not.
You will either have to put up with their feelings, or go out and get your own apartment.
2007-06-24 21:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all if u r 19 the real question is why are your parents reading your journal??? if they didnt want to get upset about something private..they should have minded their own business...
2007-06-24 21:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by melc 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋