Is it wrong to make someone go down to the altar for prayer if they don't want to?

Question

My sister and a friend both do not like it when their parents take them down to the altar call to pray (for their wrong doings). I know my parents and my friends parents mean well... and I do not see whats wrong with it. I do see the altar as being a place to give Christ your problems and sins and it really is a personal thing. I believe that you can go to the altar to pray for someone and they do not have to be with you. An altar call to me should be a calling not a forceful thing. I just would like to have someone elses opinion on this. BTW, my sister and my friend hold a lot of resentment in their hearts. Could being forced to go to the altar fire it up more? Thanks, Hannah

Answer 1

Yes. It is hard growing up and trying to fit in with your parents ideas. Same for your friends. Believe me unless you want to pray,well lets just say the parents are misguided, however they may not be wrong!
I know, it's all so confusing but there are always two sides to every coin, so to speak. Being forced to do anything breeds rebellion. I do believe that every person on this planet is a rebel out of shear stubberness. I also believe that we all choose to come here to learn who we are. Just learn what you can from any situation and try not to judge harshly, instead try to understand where the other person is coming from, after all we are our brothers keeper.
Liston being a parent is the hardest job in the world. As we grow up, we become a lot more forgiving and for some it just takes longer for the lesson to sink in. But believe me when I say that we adults learn from you children, so please do question everything, that is your job. Pointing out to us adults the obvious is also your job and most of you do it in such an innocent way that the lesson is not lost, it is profound!

Answer 2

While I can certainly think of worse things a parent can do to their child, I would have to say that if they feel they are being coerced or forced to do it, however well the intentions of the parent may be, the action itself may backfire.

Although, this is taken out of context, I think it is similar to the idea put forth in Romans 14:4-6, that "each one should be fully convinced in his own mind."

In other words, if they are at an age of accountability to God, then the conviction to go forward at an altar call to pray should be theirs. So long as what they do, they "do so unto the Lord." Otherwise, no matter what the action...it is meaningless.

Answer 3

Yes, I believe it is. When my children were growing up I left the decision to them. We all went to church, just not the same church or the same denomination for that matter. This was a choice they were allowed to make at 7 years old. I had always taught them the Bible but never forced 'religion' on them When they are ready, they will know in their own hearts when to go up. Forcing them could have made them stop going altogether, and in some cases I know of completely turned the person away from God and towards Satan. I agree you should talk to your parents about how your sister is feeling; perhaps gently make them understand that they could be driving her away from God and a loving relationship with them as well. Pray on it, and let God help.
May you be blessed.

Answer 4

There are some people who think that they are doing the right thing because they know that prayer helps. But when I first started going to church some of those well meaning people tried to force me to go. I just got resentful about it. I don't think you should force some one, because if the prayer is not coming from the heart it is wasted words. Parents that want there children to go to the alter should explain why and then pray for them their selves. They will go when they are ready.

Answer 5

Absolutely, The only reason you should go to pray is if you feel the need. Otherwise it is not of their free will. The compulsion to spend any time with the Lord should be in the heart of the person not forced by anyone.

We can't force anyone into a relationship with Christ, but we can set road blocks by our actions

Answer 6

No one should be foreced to altar call. That is a personal time between someone and God. However, we all fall short of the Glory ... so even well meaning parents could make a mistake while meaning to do well. Maybe you could speak to your parents privately and ask them to give your sister some space and decide on her own when she feels comfortable making that step.

Answer 7

Being force to do something against your will even if it is religion, possible make that person see thing differently in life, maybe they don't want to confess their sins in front of people and rather do it on their own when they are ready, have they ever though to tell their parents how they feel, maybe their parents would understand.They could tell their parents that they just want to tell God themselves what they did for sins if any and only God to hear, not everybody in the church. After all it's none of their business it's yours and God's.My parents never force me to do anything including going to Church, if I went that was my choice, not theirs. And I chosed not to go ever.

Answer 8

I have definitely learned that being forced to do something religious like praying... or having a religion forced down your throat will only cause you to be resentful. If you are religious it should be because it's something you believe and want. If you are going to pray it should be because you want to, not because someone else thinks it's what you should do. That's just rediculous. By any chance are you UPC?

Answer 9

Children need to obey their parents, but to force this doesn't seem like the right thing to me. I do not know the situation, but a prayer of repentance can happen anywhere, it does not need to be in front of a congregation.
Do your parents know that there is resentment in your sister's heart? They need to hear that. It is a fine line because as parents we need to teach our children to respect us and fear God, but if they harbor resentment, that may drive them away from church once they are older.
Be in prayer about bringing this up with your folks.

Answer 10

Forced prayer is NO prayer at all. Prayer is the Freewill decision to have a conversation with Deity, offer thanks, ask for guidance, etc. But to be FORCED into prayer makes that prayer a meaningless act and an insult to Deity. An insult by the one doing the forcing.

Raji the Green Witch