Former Christians - did you talk to Christians about your doubts?

Question

I've seen responses saying basically "I began studying, then doubting, then became a non-Christian". What I'd like to know is, while you were studying did you bother studying with a strong Christian who could answer your questions or did you just decide for yourself that Christianity was wrong? If the latter, is that really a valid method to make a determination?

For those that had the following type of experience:

" I went to church weekly, heard the hellfire and brimstone sermons, went to Sunday school and questioned questioned & again questioned. The questions weren't taken too kindly. I was told that I was just supposed to believe and have faith. I never did."

Did you bother to find someone who would answer your questions? Is it fair to just give up searching for answers?

Most answers I've seen seem to be of the type that the person just decided Christianity was wrong. I'm wondering why these people think that's a realistic method of determining truth?

Answer 1

I did. I discussed my doubts first with my parents, who are both christians and have been very involved in church for my entire life. When they couldn't answer some of my questions, they called the pastor and asked him to speak with me. I met with both him and his wife on multiple occasions. I also attended a youth bible study every Wednesday evening.

I was given the same basic "form-letter" answers to all of my questions. I was told that if I studied the bible and prayed to god with an earnest heart, he would show me the way and help me with my doubts -- just like he quelled the doubts of Thomas after the resurrection. I had no such experience.

Answer 2

You know, a lot of people who make decisions like joining or leaving a church, have good reasons. They don't "just decide"

I will say, though, that I don't know which is more frustrating: a Christian who tells you to "have faith" or one who actually tries to answer questions.. And, btw, I assume we all mean Born Again Christian when we say Christian, although not all Christians come under that heading. Anyway, I have asked questions of born-again Christians and a lot of them love to answer them. But it's the answers that are always the problem.

I know it's inconvenient, but some people have educations or just know how to think. When that's the case, that person knows when an answer only makes sense if you buy into it's initial premise. In the case of born-again Christians, the premise behind all their answers is always faith. And that is not, bottom line, scientific. Whether the question is about the bible or anti-evolutionary theory,or anything else, the answer is always based on the bible being the "word of God". If, at the end of the explanation, you come back to, "but I don't believe that", the person has nothing more to say. That's really a problem for thinking people.

So, sometimes people ask, and sometimes they don't. Either way, someitmes they don't end up believing what you believe. Let it alone, ok?

Answer 3

Yes.
I discovered that of those I could ask... (there was a definite category of folk where doubting and admitting problems appeared itself to be a sin) ...about a third at my bible-believing evangelistic church did not actually believe, but said and acted as though they did to maintain the fellowship, community, social life which they actually valued. They tended to recommend I do the same which I couldn't, though I understood their choice.
The views of those who did believe and that I could talk to were more varied than a simple answer here can deal with.

And no, I didn't give up Christianity easily. I still have a few feet of bookshelf dedicated to my reading over that period, as I sought a resolution.

Answer 4

Yes. I found that people referred back to the bible mechanically without really considering the content or possible validity of my questions. I did not feel that I was being listened to until I spoke to former christians.

By the way, almost every single former Christian I have talked to went through a process of asking questions within the church first, and I have talked to hundreds at this point. Maybe you have found some unusual cases.

I talked to one priest who was honest. He said to me that he didn't have all the answers and that God would want me to be true to myself and that Jesus' example warranted questioning tradition. He told me why Christianity worked for him but said that he would respect me whatever my path was. He was a very unusual man within the church. If there were more like him, I suspect church attendance wouldn't be dropping nationwide.

Answer 5

At age sixteen I confronted (tactfully) a pastor, telling him it seemed to me the Bible just doesn't add up.

His response centered pretty much around the fact that we can't see radio waves yet they exist.

I thought the analogy rather lame, but I left it at that. Later I was given an assignment in school to do a book review on an anti-evolution book.

That was what really helped me understand evolution, for I had to do research in order to criticize the arguments.

My book review totally destroyed the arguments of the anti-evolution book (especially in the area of embryological evidence), and the high-school teacher was not amused.

Anyway, if you want to understand the falsity of the Bible you must read and study the Bible. Start with Adam and Eve and their talking snake, and work your way through.

Answer 6

Looks like you have a lot of judgment in your question already. ALL paths lead to God. There is no other way to go. Sometimes a specific religion with specific rules does not feel right to people. You must understand that religious "rules" were made up by people. Sometimes their interpretation are not a person's truth. God loves a person in a distant land in an unknown tribe who has never heard of these rules and statutes as much as a person sitting in a pew in a church. They are both his beloved child. One is no better than another.

Answer 7

Oh, I TRIED to find the strong Christian who truly knew the Christian faith. Really, I was feeling sad and doubtful and wondering if I should leave Christianity. So I drove all the way to Arkansas and this little snake-handler church that billed itself as the only church left that was strong in the way of the Lord.

I went to the pastor of this church, some guy with one eyebrow named Cletus, and told him of my dilemma, that I would leave the Christian faith forever unless I got answers to my questions. He said I should talk to "Brother Jake", who was in the corner of that dingy church slumped on the floor, convulsing and speaking in tongues. But some other guy whom I learned later was "Brother Clarence" screamed, "Bullsheet! I'm a stronger Christian than Brother Jake" and started firing his pump-action shotgun at Brother Jake. Brother Jake got out of his trance and returned fire. I am just an ignorant Canadian, unused to gun-play, so I left there in a hurry.

So there are apparently "stronger Christians" than those entrusted to teach Christianity to young people? Hmmm, who decides these things?

Answer 8

The ex Christians that I've talked to were very poor when it came to scriptural exegesis. One that I talked to on a message board even admitted to preaching. But I was tipped off as to his lack of knowledge because he had a problem with this verse:
Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

He thought that this verse was saying that Jesus couldn't have been God, because it was saying that "God is not a man."

Plus he was a dope smoker, Satan's playground was his mind.

So all of those who were Christian who claim to know so much about the Bible are fooling themselves into thinking that they really knew the scriptures. Since our battle is not with flesh and blood but with spiritual things, they became easy to dissuade by the enemy. They were sifted like wheat and they didn't even prepare themselve for the coming onslaught.

Answer 9

Faith is faith. Simple is that. You have it or you don't. Intelligent people who read the bible are often bothered by the inconsistencies." If it's the word of God, how can there be inconsistencies?!" Is the usual response. Oh, they are there, by the way. I'm not just talking about interpretable contradictions, /I'm talking about actual references to various characters who are doing different things at different times according to different gospels.

Answer 10

"did you bother studying with a strong Christian who could answer your questions or did you just decide for yourself that Christianity was wrong?"

Actually, yes--every illogical/unsatisfying answer they gave me strengthened my doubts. In fact, I have yet to get a single answer on that subject that makes sense.

I can feel the assumption/generalization in your voice, though--you ought to be ashamed.

"If the latter, is that really a valid method to make a determination?"

Uh, yes, it is. Why do you think it's not a valid decision unless it's made through someone else's interpretation of Christian doctrine? It's arrogant of you to assume that we're not capable of making our own interpretation.

I didn't give up searching for answers? I found them. You're just sore because I found them OUTSIDE of your faith. Deal with it--there are simply a lot more sensible answers to be found outside of your faith bubble.