My husband has turned h is heart away from God, I cant take it anymore?

Question

What can I do? He has been on prayer chains for the last 4 years. I am praying for his salvation and have reached a point where I understnad that I need to change my heart so that it is more important that he be saved than it is important that he come back to me (we still live together but he acts very distant and angry). The situation is a series of tragedies.....and he got mad at God and eventually gave up on Him altogether. I drew near to Christ, even though I didn't know what that meant (at the time)....and now there is a wedge between us. My husband makes fun of my need to go to church more than once a week (which is the only way I survive the many financial, physical and emotional burdens we have). I am considering a separation.....I can't just leave---even our pastor said get an agreement first because he isn't paying his bills while we are together and we could dissolve everything in a short time if I jsut leave. Thoughts? Help? Prayers???

Answer 1

The only thing you can do, you are already doing. Pray. Ask God to help you to love him the way God wants you to. I know it's hard sometimes when a person isn't being lovable. That's when walking in the Spirit takes over. Pray for God to fill you with the Holy Spirit and to fill you with his love for your husband and ask God to bring all your husbands thoughts into captivity of The Holy Spirit. Don't try to do the work of The Holy Spirit for Him. You just keep on praying and believeing, but don't be pushy. Loving him is your only job, and modeling Christlikeness.I read where one guy said for you to slow down your church going. I feel that would be a mistake. You need to draw as close to Christ as you can right nowand church helps strenghten us. Just let your husband knoe that you love him but you need to go to church.I fhe decides to leave you there is nothing you can do about that but you should not be considering leaving him. Just love him.This may all seem very simplistic, but I have been in your shoes. I'm just speaking from experience. I've been married for 25 years and there was a time when if there was a bet going, a lot of people would have bet that we would not make it. Thank the Good Lord we have, and our marriage is really good. Good luck and God bless!!

Answer 2

Did you ever think that he has his own journey? Only he can find his own way and you pushing him does him no good. If every moment with him is like rubbing salt in a wound it maybe time to end the relationship. This doesn't mean there is no love, or at least I hope not. We are all drawn to those who help us to get to know ourselves. Maybe you should ask what it is that you are to learn from your husband without all the baggage of religion. Become spiritual leaving all that guilt and need to drag others with you behind. Your husband would have a new perspective if you did. I know you have heard of the story of man walking in the sand and commenting to God how there was only one set of foot prints when things where at there worst and God said something along the lines of "Yes, I know that is when I was carrying you." Well maybe you are suppose to be the one that makes those foot prints in the sand and carry him. But please remember don't try and save anybody but yourself because maybe the person you think you are saving is actually saving you. Think about it and don't let religion make you crazy, there are plenty in the world who do.

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you have had so many tragedies in your life. I am glad that you have determined that your peace and salvation rests with Jesus and following Him. Now if you are going to follow Him that means you must not divorce unless your husband is unfaithful. Those are Jesus instructions concerning divorce.

As far as your husband, it seems the more you push the more he rejects. You have prayed for God to help him come back to Him. This is good to do. But understand that God will not force your husband to return. We each have free will and God never forces us to obey.

Let your husband continue to make fun of you. It should not change your actions. Let your faith and peace be seen in you. Don't say anything about going to church or that he needs to go. Just go and keep going. At the same time go overboard to show him how much you love him. Stop even threatening or thinking about leaving him. That threat will only make him more bitter against God. If he looks at God as taking away things, and then you leave too then he will blame God even more and get further from Him.

I know it is tough being rejected but think about how tough it was for Jesus to be rejected by first his birthplace and after that the whole crowd that cried crucify Him. Yet He showed His love by dying on the cross for them and us. That is why I suggest just continuing to show your husband love.

There was a lady at our church who always came to church and her husband was not a Christian. For over 30 years she came and he stayed at home. Then one Sunday morning he surprised her and everyone else and not only came to church but at the invitation went forward and was baptized into Christ.

There are many couples like that. All they did was continue to do the right thing and never nagged about what their mate was not doing. Just continued to silently pray for them until one day they were saved.

I hope and pray that your story can end up that same way. But as a beginning I would strongly suggest that you make sure you are on the right path before you get your husband to join you. I dont know what church you attend and how you were saved. There are a lot of teachings out there on how to be saved. But there is only one that matches the examples and teachings of the Bible. Please verify that the path you have decided can be found in the scriptures by example. Read thru the book of Acts and see if what you did to be saved is the same thing that the people of the New Testament did to be saved. If not perhaps there is some error in your walk with God that you need to correct. I also recommend a web site that discusses the Gospel by first defining what the Gospel is as well as explaining how we obey it.(see source link)

I will be praying for your marriage as well as your own personal struggles and study. I hope other Christians will do the same. But in the meantime, work on showing your husband how much you love him. Please make sure that you are travelling the right path to heaven without a doubt(verify with examples in Acts) Perhaps the answer to your problem lies in the study you do now. How would you and your husband react if by some chance you determined you weren't following God's way. What if after finding a different way that is the Truth you went to your husband and told him that you had something new to show him. Something you and he needed to look at together. Maybe a new light could lead you both to heaven.

God Bless
saved2seek

Answer 4

Although God should come first in your life, you made a promise and commitment to your husband, and it would be yet another tragedy in your husbands eyes to have you leave. marriage is sacred, and something that is not to be taken lightly. If i was you, and in that situation, i would do for my husband what i could, even if it meant slowing down the amount of times i went to church, and prayer in silence. Although you may understand what hes going through, you need to hold his hand and go through it with him. Dont tell him your going to pray for him, just pray for him, and keep it between yourself and the lord, and just be there for your husband. Salvage your marriage if you can, because if that happens, it will be one less tragedy for him and yourself. One less for the road, is one more on the way to recovery. Support your husband and soften his heart. When there is love at home, love is all around

Answer 5

whatever you do don't turn away from God, no matter how mad he gets or how much he makes fun of you for going. Be praying constantly for God to have His will. You said The situation is a series of tragedies caused this and it made him turn against God, yeah I can see that happening believe me it happened in my life as well..But you need to stay strong for yourself and for him and others as well..I am the one in my family who had to stay strong, as I have always been the strongest in my family, no my life isn't perfect and yeah its been a struggle too but I had to stay strong or everyone would have crumpled without my strength and faith in God..God is who seen me as well as the others through all the tragedies in our family.. Don't try to change him leave him to God that is the only way you will make it..You know even though you see what's in front of you doesn't mean God isn't working with him in his heart. God can work it out but you need to leave it in His hands. you will be in my prayers, just stay strong in God, please

Answer 6

Pardon me for sounding judgemental, but this is what I would say to a friend:

You are letting your religious beliefs get in the way of your relationship with your husband, someone you promised to spend your life with for better or worse.

You seem to look down on him for being lower spiritually than you are, but I think you might have it mixed up. He's not thinking of leaving you because your a Christian, is he?

I didn't realize a husband had to be conformed to a wife's beliefs.

As far as other problems, go to a counceler and work those out seperately. Stop trying to force your beliefs on him. He probably feels you don't respect him now.


Edit: Maybe it would be easier to survive the emotional and financial burdens you guys had if you could pull together as a mutually respecting supportive team. It certainly sounds like the problems are because of your problem with his religious beliefs.

Answer 7

I am very sorry for the troubles in your life, and I hope it will get better, with time and effort.

But you have to ask yourself:
Do you love your husband for who he is, as a person; or for what he believes (or doesn't believe) in?
Are your faith and Church more important to you than your marriage? Because if they are, then I'm sorry, but I can understand his point of view (at least as you've described it).

Answer 8

Have you heard the story of Smith Wigglesworth...in the late 1800's , early 1900's he was a plumber, but his wife was a believer in Jesus Christ- going to church regularly....Smith had no part in anything Christian- but here's the most important part- one day, when the wife was about to go to a evening service, Smith threatened his wife that if she went out of the door, he's lock it when she got back....well, she went to church, & sure enough, when she got back home the house door was locked by Smith.....what did the wife do...she just slept outside by the door.....when morning came, and Smith opened the door, she greeted him happily, came inside & made his favorite breakfast....Smith got saved soon after- With God , all things are possible...don't give up...

Answer 9

Keep praying for him, never give up. I had friend in this situation and she edured it for seven years, and yes her husband came to the Lord and is now serving him with his whole heart, he even leads a bible study. Never give up on him. You may need to keep your faith quiet around him if it aggravates him, doing your praying for him in secret. Let your actions and loving words win him. I will pray that God will give you the strength and perserverance to see your marriage through. God is with you and proud of you!

Answer 10

i agree with others that you need counseling not from your minister that other problems are present and the religious thing is secondary.

why dos he have to believe the way you do,religion is a Private matter,ma be he has found god in a nother way and wants you to open your closed mind ,to see how he see the universe.

ever ask him why?