How do I get out of going to my brother's bachelor party?

Question

The bachelor party is going to be in Atlantic City and I don't drink or gamble and don't think strip clubs are cool, so I would have a terrible time and just waste my money chipping in for everybody else's expenses. I'm in my brother's wedding party despite not being very close with him. He knows that I don't have any other plans that night. He'll probably be offended if I don't go, but I'll be miserable if I do go. How should I go about getting out of it?

Answer 1

I'll i can say is good for you. Maybe try and talk to him explaning why you don't want to go.

Answer 2

It *is* possible to go to a bar and not drink. It is also possible to go to a casino and not gamble. No, this doesn't sound like a good time for you, but it's only one night (or weekend) and it's for your brother. You should go. I go out with friends occasionally who drink and I just have Diet Cokes most of the time. I'm not a big fan of drinking anymore and I can have fun without liquor, so most of the time I just drink non-alcoholic beverages and talk to people or dance or whatever. If you don't like to gamble, you can just watch others. That is sometimes more fun than playing because you don't lose any money! (Of course, you won't win any, either.) As for the strip clubs, if you don't like them, don't go. Hang out at your hotel instead and meet up with the rest of the guys for dinner or something when they get back. You don't have to compromise your beliefs in order to be there for your brother. But don't act like a big wet blanket and ruin everyone else's fun either. Take your brother aside before the bachelor party and tell him that you want to be there for him but you don't think you will be joining them when they go to strip clubs. He should understand. If he doesn't, then too bad for him.

Answer 3

There are to obvious ways to look at this question:

Short term - you don't go. Which makes you happy that night but has the long term consequences of quite possibly ruining your relationship with your brother.

Long term - you have a miserable night, but your brother knows you are there when something really important is happening in his life.

So - the question is how to minimize your suffering if you go. My thought is - pay up front. Tell your brother you are coming for him, not the ambiance. And tell him, in honor of him, and in being a good sport you are going to chip in so much $$$$$ and hand it to him, or who ever when you get there. Then chill. People watch or something. Designate your self as the diver - what ever -

but, i recommend going. In the long run ... you can tell horror stories to your nieces and nephews about their dads bachelor party!

dancing fox

ps- the side affect of saying you are only coming in honor of him, is he may say, "I really appreciate that, but I now you are not into this type of thing, if you really don't want to I understand ...."

Answer 4

just let him know how you feel.....i mean you two aren't close so he shouldn't be THAT offended if you don't go...on top of that let him know how you feel about drinking...gambling...and going to strip clubs....

maybe you can work out an aggreement where you do go however you don't have to pay for anything...and tell him that you'll be at the wedding....

or you can come up with an excuse not to go...whether it's work...a friend....a girlfriend etc...so it makes it look like you wanted to go but couldn't....

what you want is more important than going to the bachelor party...the wedding is one thing...but the bachelor party is something totally different....and since you aren't that close...it shouldn't be as big of a problem...just don't come off like an ***...

good luck

Answer 5

Have a heart to heart talk with your brother even though the two of you aren't close and let him know how you feel. Maybe, just maybe he'll understand your not attending. If you can't reach a compromise then maybe try to be there for him just for a little while then duck out early. Good luck and God Bless

Answer 6

Just send him a funny or cool gift that he can open at his party, maybe with an apology on a "congratulations" card because you aren't there.

Maybe even be humorously direct and write something like "I don't want to get carried away by the strippers and the gambling" and then stay home.

Answer 7

I feel you, but honestly whether you are close with your bro or not, i think you need to go, pretend to be happy and havng fun for him, i mean what makes it harder to get out of it is the fact that you are in the wedding party, its a once in a lifetime thing for your brother and i think you need to do it for him and for yourself, show some support, i know it is hard but i think that it is important and i am sure if you were in his shoes he would go for you.....good luck and put a smile on

Answer 8

I believe in just talking to him and be honest. Tell him you just don't believe in the things they are doing at the party and would prefer not to be there. Tell him you are excited to be in the wedding and if there was another thing being do at the party you would want to be there. He should understand. And tell him you hope they have a great time at the party. But be honest and talk man to man about . I think you will be surprise to what he thinks. You will never know till you tell him and talk to him.

Answer 9

I would tell my brother that I would really rather save my money and take him out, just he and I and do something special.

Something that you would both enjoy.

And would he be open to you doing that instead of his party?

He may be mature about it and say "sure".

Or he may be groomzilla and make a stink.

At which point I would just suck it up and go unless I could think of a fool-proof excuse (ie. business trip, etc.).

It boils down to: Do you want to be right or do right? To my way of thinking, the cost of the family drama to follow would far outpace the financial cost of going.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Being your brother, he should already understand that this type party goes against the grain with you. If it's not something you can show up at then split early, then just be honest with him. "Hey, man, you understand me not showin' at the party, huh? I mean, you already know my thoughts, and I wouldn't want to be a dud -- that'd mess it up, wouldn't it?"
Either way, if he's stubborn about it, you may risk hard feelings for a long time. But, if you aren't all that close, maybe not. But be honest with him - if you don't, you end up dissing your own values anyway.

Answer 11

Let your borther keep how u feel about the whole Atlantic City. Wish him the best and tell him u hope he have fun. He will understand. Let him know it not your type of party.