Should I start my son in kindergarten or wait until next year?

Question

My son's birthday is 3 days before the cutoff date? He has been going to preschool for 2 years, knows a lot of what they will be teaching him in kindergarten already and is outgoing and very willing to make friends. However, he is smaller than most of the other kids his age. My husband and I are both 5'4" tall. I had decided that I would start him this year, so I put him in a pre kindergarten summer program at the elementary school where he would be going. After it was over the teacher told me that I may want to wait a year to start him because he sometimes has trouble following the rules. She made it all out to be an age thing. Now I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

start him now, if he is academicaly ready than don't hold him back. Kids adapt to classroom rules quickly.

Answer 2

This is a tough decision. No matter what anyone says, you the mother know him best and the decision you make will be the best decision for him.

As a former kindergarten teacher and a mother of a grown son who also had a birthday close to the cut off date, I would have him do another year of prek. He may seem old enough now, but when he graduates from high school he'll be younger than everyone else and that's when the difference in age will become more critical. You'll feel better sending him out into the world if he's a year older.

I tell parents that children have a long time to be adults, but only so many years to be a child. Why rush it? If he already knows a lot of what their teaching in kindergarten imagine how much easier it will be for him with another year of prek under his belt. Don't let people tell you he'll be bored. I know from personal experience the child you describe won't be be bored in school if you hold him back a year.

Answer 3

Where do they want to put him? Don't worry about his size so much. You and I are both adults and I am 2-3" taller than you, that wouldn't stop us from being friends, working, or schooling together. Find out exactly if Kindergarten is an option or pre-K again. He can not sit out. It sounds like there is a concern for him lacking in "social skills", as I was told when my now 6y.o. was exiting pre-K. I could be misunderstanding, so email me if you want, if I am. What I would suggest, is if they allow him to enter Kindergarten let him. See how he does. Also, see if there is some type of summer schooling program at his school and if he can attend. This way he can continue adjusting to the learning environment and play w/ his peers too. If he doesn't do so well you can hold him back in Kindergarten and he won't be any further behind than he would have been had you not allowed him to advance to Kindergarten. Been there, done that,not to long ago either. Children that young aren't so much aware of tall,short, differences between them and their peers. Often they learn that from the family or older kids. I put my child in Kindergarten b/c he wouldn't have been eligible for pre-K where I am, and him not being in school for that time, I felt that he may revert from his progress. He went to Kindergarten, I held him back in Kindergarten one time and he is happy, no trauma, and he is advancing to 1st grade on his own merit. Everyone has commented on how much progress he has made. You will have to make your own decision, but that is what happened in our case just last year. :)

Answer 4

Is your son is a whole day program or a half day? This has to be hard for parents. That why i believe 1/2 day preschool programs are so important to get kids ready for a full day of Kindergarten. I would personally wait it out for 3-4 Weeks. You don't want him thinking if he cries he gets to come home, then he will do the same thing next year. 3-4 weeks would however be the max I would allow him to be miserable. If the crying continues I would then look into a 1/2 day preschool program so he gets use to being away from you and will be ready for full day next year.

Answer 5

Last year my friend's son barely turned 5 before the cut-off date. They suggested to her that she wait another year. She didn't and he ended up repeating kindergarten. All of the kids in my daughter's kindergarten class last year who were barely 5, ended up in Kindergarten again. A lot of times teacher's do know best, if she's suggesting that you not start him yet, it's probably a good idea to wait a year. It won't put him behind in what he's learning, it'll just give him another year to mature and will also make him more likely to succeed in school. Good luck with whatever you decide.
P.S.- My daughter just finished 1st grade, she's one of the older ones in class, having barely missed the cut-off age, she and the other older kids in the class had a much easier time at reading and math than the younger kids, and they didn't get into trouble as much for not listening to the teacher.

Answer 6

My son was smaller than other kids his age when I put him into kindergarten. He did well tho,and the socializing was so
good for him. But in first grade he had some learning diffi-
culties and I volunteered to help in the classroom. He like
some others had problems learning to read out loud. He was
shy as some others. He was also shy about alot of things. But
he passed to second grade.
We moved during the summer to southern Calif. and there
was a new concept that was being federally funded. And the
school we enrolled our two were sent there since it was near
us. They placed children by academic levels, and physically
development and heighth was included in that. Our daughter
excelled to some degree, and our son was placed back into
a first grade level. We weren't told about this until mid way into the year that this concept was the standard there. But
our son was taught some things he hadn't at the previous
school out of state, and he soon developed into a confidant
student, and really got interested in learning. This one year
set back really changed his personna and aptitudes. He
went on thru highschool as a model student on the honor roll.
And received many offers for scholarships.
So there's no stigma in being set back if it helps the
child initially. But if I had to make your decision, I'd enroll him
and give him the chance of learning to live by rules of
conduct and if he obeys them and wants to learn then leave
him where he is. No need to upset him if it's not necessary.
You can always put him back into kindergarten for socializing
skills if 'real' school doesn't work out this year.

Answer 7

I had the same issue with my son. Academically he wasn't quite ready, but socially he was. We were told by teachers that the most important factor for starting your child is that they are socially ready.
You have pointed out that your child is also academically ready so I see no point in holding him back. If you do hold him back, your child will become bored with pre-school and then will perhaps be slightly too advanced for when he starts in Kindergarten which could actually mean he will become bored in Kindergarten.

We ended up sending our childand have not regretted it at all. If we find that he is struggling too much, we will simply repeat him in Year 1 - this is what was suggested to us, however, by the end of Year 1 he may be fine to continue....this is generally what happens!

Another suggestion is to see if any of his friends are atteding the same Kindergarten...It will be much easier for your child if there are some familiar faces around.

Goodluck.

Answer 8

I started my daughter early. The cut off for our school was Oct 1, her bday is Nov 15. So she was 4 when she started. When I had her tested for K, in April 05, she tested then at 5 yrs 5 mos. So I sent her. Now with 1st grade finished I am glad I did. She did so well this year. 100's on all her spelling tests, accelerated math and reading programs. Straight A's on her report card. I am very pleased with her accomplishments!!!

So really in the long run, it is what you feel comfortable with. Do you feel he is emotionally ready to go to Kindergarten? If so I say send him. He will prove he is just as smart if not smarter than the "older" kids in his class.

Answer 9

Send him. Listen, he's already been to preschool 2 times. He may be young & he may be little, so, so what, he's a little bit more immature than the other kids. Give it a try. If he doesn't do well, then he can go to kindergarten twice. Some teachers just expect little kids to sit perfectly. But part of going to preschool & kindergarten is LEARNING how to sit still & listen, & to cope with a different situation, so not all children are going to be glued to their seat w/ their mouths taped shut, it takes time & practice.

Answer 10

Listen to madam teacher. He'll be MUCH better off if you keep him another year.

Boys are often less mature and follow directions worse than girls do, even if there is a girl doing it, that doesn't mean he can to.
It's all case-by-case.

It's not all age though. He would likely be scared, riticuled and punished a lot if you pushed him ahead when he isn't ready.

It will NOT harm him to wait at all. I know plenty of people who missed the cut off date, waited, and were fine. I also know people who really should have been kept back and did terriable in school.


EDIT: His size has NOTHING to do with this at all.

Answer 11

My daughter is a November baby and we went through the same thing. We also were in toos up because we wanted her to start French Immersion. We did put her in when she was 4, and she is now in Grade 5 and doing very well. I do not regret anything!! Go ahead, put him in. The worst that could happen is being held back a year, and that would not be for behavior!