please help me!!!!?

Question

ok heres the deal...my dad left me and my mom when i was just a baby and my mom had ALWAYS told me that he gave all rights away to me.. well i moved out of my house when i was 17 to live with my aunt and uncle and they had to get legal guardian ship over me.. well the thing is that my dad really didnt give his rights up for me..well i got ahold of him he signed righs away and all that jazz but the thing is that we still talk and that he wants to meet me in august.. my mom doesnt no about ne of this and she would kill me if she knew that i got in contact with him.. im going home for a couple weeks.. do u think i should tell her or keep it to myself.. please help me i dont no what to do.. i dont want my mom to get mad at me an my stepdad to think that im trying to replace him.. i really want to meet him though so what should i do.. HELP!!!!!!!

for the people that want to no the reason why i left home so soon is because me and my stepdad werent on good terms and i didnt feel that i belonged there.. and for others that want to no if i want him to walk me down the aisel.. uhh i dont think he deserves to.. he had 18 yrs to get in contact with me while my stepdad has beed there for me through everything.. even though we dont get along all the time i would LOVE for my stepdad to walk me down the aisel.. hes my daddy and its takes a special man to be a daddy..

Answer 1

alrite hun.. heres the deal.. i have read all of these other responses to your question and can only say that some of them sounded like really great answers.. as for some, i don't know.. and for the lady who wrote that your dad doesn't deserve to get to talk to you, she is wrong.. he may have walked out on you and your mom when u were a baby. but do u know the reason why? obvisouly, your mom was hiding something to have felt like she had to lie to you about your dad signing his rites away to you or whatever.. why did he finally sign his rights away? im just wondering.. i would meet with him if only to show him how great i am without him having been a part of my life.. your mom really doesnt have a right to know bc she doesn't have legal guardianship over you anymore... if u feel that you need to tell someone that you are meeting him, tell your aunt and uncle who you live with..they are the ones who took you in and are now bascially your "parents" per say.. i think it is very important for a daughter to have a relationship with her natural father.. or any child of that matter.. you never know, your mom could have told him that he wasn't allowed to see you or could have said something worse to him.. you never really know till you find out.... your stepdad shouldn't think that you are trying to replace him just bc you are wanting to contact your real dad.. he should be glad u want to see him and try to at least get to know him.. i am a stepmother and i would not get the least bit mad if my stepchild were to want to try to get to know thier natural parent.. i think it only human of you to want to know your real dad.. i don't blame you about not wanting him to walk you down the aisle... but i do wanna give u some advice about that! i got married almost 2 years ago and my father refused to walk me down the aisle bc we argued that morning.. i have a wedding video and wedding pics of my uncle walking me down the aisle in my fathers place... if he really wants to be a part of your life now and from now on, u may want to let both of them walk you down the aisle.. i have been to a wedding where a girlfriend of mine has a stepfather and her real dad both in her life.. she had her real dad walk her from the back of the church to the middle and then he gave her to her stepfather and her stepfather walked down the rest of the way and gave her away.. the reason she did it like that is bc her dad was in her life for a little while at that time and her step father was the one who raised her.. she wanted her father to participate in her wedding but she wanted her stepfather to give her away bc of that reason.. u may want to look into that when u decide to get married..trust me, i would do ANYTHING to go back in time 1 1/2 years ago and stop that arguement so that my dad wouldve walked me down the aisle and attend my wedding.. there is nothing at all wrong with wanting to know your natural parent and have them in your life.. good luck and i hope something you have read in all of these answers will help you out.. you have a tough road ahead of you but you are still young...

Answer 2

If your aunt and uncle has guardianship over you then your mom signed away HER rights.She has no right to be mad,especially after lying to you all these yrs.Find out why your dad left from him and other who know BOTH your mom and dad, people from his side of the family and your mom's side and their neighbors and friends. Tell your mom AFTER you meet your dad.If she gets mad it's because you caught her in a bunch of lies. Do what is right, and do not worry about who gets mad.One last thing, why are you not with your mother anymore?

Answer 3

The bottom line is that your biological dad walked out on both you and your mother. It doesn't matter what he signed or didn't sign. He walked out on his responsibilities, not to mention a life he could have shared with the both of you. He does not deserve to be talked to now. Why would you want to have a relationship with a man who was that cold and cruel? Don't bother. It's a good idea to keep those types of toxic people out of your life.

Answer 4

well that is great i wouldn't tell them anything they dont' need to know. that way there is no problems why make some where there really is none. you are curious so go. and with the step dad well things are better he raised you that is your wish just keep it up and he'll do that but yes, this should be kept quiet funny some people take things fine while others dont my adoptive parents couldn't deal with me know ing who my real parents where even though they wee related.

Answer 5

Communication is really the best way to go. Think about it - it's better that you mom knew about it now, then finding out you'd hidden it from her all along - because mothers always find out... ;) Besides, he left your mother because he didn't get along with HER. You shouldn't think that he's automatically a bastard and avoid him because of that - give him a chance.

Answer 6

i think it is important to know both parents , they are who made you. but also remember your dad as alot of catching up to do. your mother will be upset alittle , let her know easily. and that this is your choice .... you will always know who raised you but dad needs a second chance to see what he as missed out on raising you. you are old enough to do what you want to .... what ever is in your heart to do. go girl new begins could be a new direction in your life. you will feel better once u tell mother and step father , good luck.

Answer 7

yea the best thing to do is tell your mom, it's hard to say but she had a tuff time though it also. if your dad is an ok guy she might say it's good, but if he did things you made not no about, she could be concern

Answer 8

I would tell her, i mean hes your dad and you deserve to talk to him. I dont accually think that he deserves to talk to you because he left you and everything, but you should talk to him and not keep yourself away forever. dont you want him to walk you down the aisle? lol

Answer 9

well, i think you should tell your mom only b/c you don't want her to find out from someone else. she may be hurt and a little angry but i would think she'd understand your need to find out about him on your own. it'll be hard for her but she'll be okay. good luck

Answer 10

i would tell your mom, cause she will fine out any way . and has she told you the truth about your father. please please dont go with out knowing first hand about him, like i did , i got hurt, i through he might be nice but he was terrible to me. good luck.