Is it fair to have my 7 1/2 yo help pick up toys 2 1/2 yo brought out?

Question

The oldest(Austan) really complains about having to pick up Rett's toys because Rett brought them out. Rett does help but not as much as Austan thinks he should. I tell him as Rett gets older he will be able to help pick up more toys. So for right now mom really appreciates the extra help. Is this ok or should I just make Rett pick up all of his own toys which is a struggle in its self....Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I make my 7 year old clean up his room and usually it is his 18 month old brother that has made most of the mess. When the 7 year old complains I tell him that I make his food, do his laundry, wash his dishes, and make his bed, so the least he can do is help pick up his brother's mess. The little one is learning to put his toys away. Of course he can pull stuff out as fast as it get put away. I think it is fair. After all you do everything else around the house.

Answer 2

I think this is a family issue. While Rett his younger and can't do as much as Austan, Rett is old enough to begin picking up his own toys, but Austan should also be taught that he is the older brother and needs to look out for his little brother, and that includes helping him pick up his own toys. Let Austan know that this what older brothers do, and will also show Rett that Austan loves him, and will help him when he needs it. At 7 1/2 years old, explaining these things to boys doesn't help much though, so forcing them gets the point across better. They might not like it, but it'll get through as they get older. I wish you all the luck in the world, and I hope you let me know how it goes. My 2 boys are also 5 years apart, and they are 6 and 1!! You have a bit more experiance that I! :)

Answer 3

Rett needs to learn his responsibliliies. IF you can take it out, you can put it away. It might also help if you let him only have 5 toys out at a time. Then he can do an exchange if he wants and he can get 5 new toys or just 1 new one. It really helps. Also, Austan is right, but if he played with the toys he can put SOME away too. You can remind him that you dont only make your dinner, you make everyones, and that helps them. Good Luck, I know how Austan feels. :)

Answer 4

Austan needs to learn responsibility and helping mom out. Just remember to tell him, that when Rett is older he will do the same amount of chores he does at his age. Ask him if he thinks it would be fair to ask of him to do the same responsibilities as you have as an adult?? Try this as a learning expierience...maybe a teaching in work ethics...But maybe get him an allowance...even 5 a week would boost his confidence, and make a point to say, see you help me so well and Rett is still too young to clean as much but also too young to get money like you! Really build him up when he does a good job. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Rett is big enough and old enough to understand how to pick up his playthings. My youngest was barely able to walk (13 months then and 22 months now) and was helping to pick up the toys that he had gotten out. So, I am sorry but I side with Austan here. Don't baby the baby. Treat the boys equally.

Answer 6

If Rett takes out too many toys he is capable of putting away, then do not allow Rett to take out so many toys. Until Rett understands the concept of putting away his own mess, take most of the toys away from his reach so that he needs to ask you for a toy. Give him the new toy when the other is put away.

I only allow my children to take out 1 toy at a time, and when it is put away, they can take out another.

It is not at all fair for Austan to put away his brother's toys!!! By doing this you are not teaching Rett to be responsible.

Answer 7

I say if Rett gets out the toys, Rett picks up the toys! I do understand that at 2 yrs old that can be a difficult task, but trust me, in the long run you will be glad you taught him this valuable lesson. Besides, why should Austan have to clean up after his little brother? Austan does need to have chores around the house to help you out but not this one. Does he help you out by taking out the trash or helping clean up after dinner? Kids really like to have jobs all on their own, especially if you brag on them and tell them they have that particular job because they're so good at it. I tell my son I chose him to load the dishwasher after dinner because he loads it so much better than his sister (he's 8, she's 7). My daughter is responsible for setting the table. I tell her I gave that job to her because she is really good about making sure everything is out and ready for when I bring out the food. They just glow when I brag on them and they don't even mind doing them after I tell them how good they are at it. lol! Your 2 yr old is big enough to start picking up after himself. Good luck!

Answer 8

I would let Austan put a sticker on the calender each time you have him help you out...I mean it wasn't his idea to have a sibling so he should benifit a little from helping out ;) Once he has a certain amount of stickers for helping you can let him do something special, get a small suprise, or maybe even turn in a coupon for you to pick up all his toys for one time. Good luck :)

Answer 9

Right now it is toys. But this small task is shaping his character. Hopefully it will instill that just because he didn't do it, doesn't mean he shouldn't help. One day when he is an adult he may save a life due to his good character by acting instead of leaving it for someone else. Also, he is learning it is right to help and take care of his family. Sorry if you think I over-think. I do. But I believe it (character building)starts early too. Just be fair the 21/2 y.o. is old enough to pick up too, just not as quick.

Answer 10

My daughter-in-law had this problem with her girls. What she did was come up with a 'picking up the toys' song. The girls loved this and they all three were picking up toys in no time and without any issues - or make a game out of it; like a challenge; the younger one against the older one (privately, tell the oldest one to pick things up supper slow and then cheer the youngest one on with a reward).

Answer 11

I don't think it's fair. Maybe once in awhile you could tell your oldest that you would appreciate it if he helped you pick up the toys, but don't make it a daily thing. And help him when he does it, don't just make him pick up the toys alone, pick them up with him and have your youngest do his share. He's not old enough to completely clean, but he is capable of carrying a toy or two back to it's proper place.