we've been together for 5 years and love eachother very much. we've had sex where we just go at it a ton, but we've never 'made love'. i've tried to explain what it is to me. that it focuses on emotions and foreplay rather than just going at it like animals until you get off. he's tried once, but after 10 minutes of foreplay we started having intercourse and he immediately started going really fast like we always do and i tried to explain but just got mad and it ruined the mood.. how do i explain it to him?? or should i be trying something different...he just bought me a promise ring and tells me he loves me all the time. and hes 20 so shouldn't he understand what i want??
2007-06-24 06:54:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Believe me, you're not the only couple that's had this problem. Many times in a relationship, the woman will want the kind of sex that's really intimate, as you put it, "making love." The man will usually just get caught up in the moment and forget about love, and just think sex. What i think you need to do is sit down with him and have a serious discussion on how you feel about it, and how you think sex should be a more intimate thing. You might try setting somewhat more of the right atmosphere, such as candles, a romantic evening, maybe a little bit of background music. I know it sounds like it's straight from a movie, but it really works. Good luck!
2007-06-24 07:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it sounds like you are looking for a committed marriage and your bf is looking for a piece of A@#. He may be 20 but he is mentally a 13-14 yo when it comes to Loving someone( looking and thinking only of his own pleasure). I would tell him that you truly love him,but that he needs to mature more before the relationship can continue. Separate with him,but make it clear that if he realizes what you truly want and is prepared to accept it and live it,you will restart the relationship. Then (the hard part) do not take him back for at least 6 months to a year,to see what his true feelings for you are. If he moves on then you will know he just wanted your body and not your love.
2007-06-24 07:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by david b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still a boy so for a few more years he will not understand sorry Hun but it's the truth. but do sit him down again and talk to him and tell him that all this love he speaks of he is not showing it to you i mean if he loves you like he says then he should try and make you happy rather then just do it fast and get it over with after all that's what being a men should be all about pleasing our women but men are pigs lol funny i am a man too and no i am not gay i love women. good luck
2007-06-24 07:01:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend gave me this, it's quite useful. It may help. Guy Facts: When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you... When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes, he means it When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world When a guy calls/texts/comments/messages you everyday, he is in love(really) When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till your done When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else and he is going crazy without you
2016-03-14 07:02:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 is still quite young for some guys, so the age is not the issue here, i think he isn't "the one" for you. I mean don't go based on what I am saying but think about it yourself... should things really be this hard. If you've talked to him about it and he still doesn't get it, you need to kick him to the curb and learn from this mistake of a relationship. I don't think it's right to put yourself in the situation that you're in. Anyway, good luck.
2007-06-24 07:01:28 · answer #5 · answered by smiley4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His 20, technically guys do not really mature fast enough, sometimes they do not even mature at all. So, if he does not understand what you mean, I am not so sure if he ever will. You guys obviously have sex, and he obviously loves you, but you want more passion, making love is a beautiful thing when you are with the right person. If you guys are not in the same page, ask yourself "am I with the right guy"?
2007-06-24 07:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by always51787 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20? No, more than likely he won't understand what you want. Try talking to him about it outside of the bedroom. If that doesn't work, switch it up. Pin him down and take control, not allowing him to do anything. Show him what it's like to go slow, and the whole control factor will have good results.
2007-06-24 06:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
5 years is a long time... if after such a period of time, he does not understand the importance and difference of "love making" and "sex", i doubt he ever will...
be blunt with him, (but since he is a guy, dont tell him 2 straight forward, cause he might be offended and think that you do not like him in bed at all) so tell him, but be careful to explain WHY you prefer love making and sentual intercourse of the hardcore stuff...
everybody needs a lil love
2007-06-24 06:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by vicalister 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i actually had the same porblem with my girlfriend. at first i was pised with her so i understand your boyfriend's reactions. the first thing is to make him realise that he has a 'problem with sex'. the nxt HELP. you can go to a sex therapist who can help you guys solve the problem. or you can get him down and really show him what you want. good luck
2007-06-24 07:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you have been with this guy for a long time but it sounds like he is not meeting your needs or expectations or listening to you very well!i myself need the romance i am very romantic minded and people like me need someone to take the time and be loving!it sounds like you have a romantic mind set!you could try different things but i am really just wondering other than history what are u doing with this guy?do u want to marry him?someone who does not listen to your needs
2007-06-24 07:02:15 · answer #10 · answered by sweet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋