Do you think that home schooled kids sacrifice social skills?

Question

Sure, they may win the National Spelling Bee, but they have few social skills. Of course, this doesn't apply to every situation, but I'm betting it holds true more often than not.

What do you think? Is the "better" education these kids receive at home worth not learning vital social and interpersonal skills?

I appreciate your thoughts on the subject.

Again, I realize I'm overgeneralizing. I'm sure there are some who do indeed have social skills, but believe they are in the minority.

Answer 1

You must define 'social skills.'

Homeschooled kids don't learn about navigating cliques and sucking up to teachers. They are often unused to the way kids in school react to situations, because it's not what they do.

However, as someone who has been in school, and homeschooled, and has known a LOT of homeschoolers, I can say that no, homeschoolers do not sacrifice social skills.

For one thing, nobody ever thinks I'm weird until I say I'm homeschooled. Before I told them, I was awesome and so mature and smart and great. After I told them I suddenly developed a lot of problems.

They do learn vital social and interpersonal skills because humans are social animals and actively seek out other people to be friends with. If you had a kid who you HAD to homeschool -a normal kid- wouldn't you make sure that he was properly socialized? Why do people think that they have a monopoly on caring for their kids?

Homeschooling is the original system. It seems to have worked for the past few thousand years. Our current school system has existed for 150 years, is violently unnatural and was meant to train unthinking soldiers. Read Horace Mann. Read any book about Prussian schooling, and you will see that I am backed up by facts. The fact that schools academically fail means that the people who support it or are in it need some way to justify themselves, so they spread a lie based off of stereotypes and the weirdo minority.

Answer 2

At that age, kids can be left home alone during the day. At that age, kids can also do most if not all of their school work independently. She could have been doing school online, had DVD lessons, had a tutor, had texts and materials that cater to the independent learner, or been a self motivated unschooler. If the child left school due to a social phobia and she was in seventh grade at the time, what makes you think that high school would have cured her of it? Chances are she'd still be having these social problems in college and if anything it might have been worse. Do you know all the facts? She might have been recieving counciling. She might still be. She might have been involved in a homeschool support group that provided social opportunities, or in community groups, programs, clubs, or classes like most homeschoolers are. She could have easily done all of this in the evenings when her parents were home. She also could have asked questions and gone over things she didn't understand when they got home. This isn't neglectful, and it's perfectly legal. I do what is called unschooling. Up until now I pretty much homeschooled myself, getting help when I needed it either from my mom or an outside source, and always having a gentle push in the right direction when I needed it. I say up until now because now, in twelfth grade, I'm enrolled in an Early Admissions program at a nearby state college and heading off to Florida State University in the fall. I have an active social life in the community, in our homeschool group which has over four hundred students involved, at the college, the library, nationally recognized organizations, in sports, and just with friends I meet here and there. I've been in a relationship for two years now which I'm pretty sure is longer than what it typical for a highschooler. And I have straight A's in my early admissions college classes. And I'm no oddity. I know a lot of homeschoolers, and nearly all of them are at least as successful. Most of the middle and high schoolers do work a lot of the time independently, and it is perfectly legal and usually not the least bit harmful. There are always going to be statistical flukes. Just like there are antisocial, poorly educated public schoolers, there are some antisocial or poorly educated homeschoolers. The statistics would be no different the other way around. That doesn't mean that homeschooling your child in general is bad or neglectful...just because one or two here and there screwed up. Most are still doing it right. And sending your child to public school isn't neglectful either just because some public schoolers leave high school unable to read and write. Some schools are great. It's all in what you make of it.

Answer 3

I think homeschooled students in general have equal or superior social skills. There may be some differences in the way they relate, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. For example, most homeschooled kids are not overly concerned about what their peers think, instead, they think for themselves.
Also, homeschooled kids tend to relate equally well to people of all ages instead of just with their peers.
Many homeschooled teens hold part time jobs, attend community college, do volunteer work, belong to youth groups and boys and girls clubs, and have many other social outlets. Contrary to common misconception, they do not spend their entire time at home "sheltered" from the real world. In fact, one might say that the artificial, peer dependent, age segragrated, politically correct classroom is much more sheltered than the experience of most homeschoolers.
While certainly not every homeschooled child has good social skills, neither does every publicly schooled child. When a homeschooled child is socially maladjusted, it is easy to blame it on the educational choice made by the parents, however, when a publicly schooled child is socially maladjusted no one blames it on the school. I think some people are just better at developing social skills than other people, regardless of their method of education. Some people are naturally at ease and outgoing around others, and some are shy and reserved.
I know lots of publically schooled teens and young adults who are anti-social, irresponsible, and angry all the time, but I've only met a few homeschooled teens and young adults with those traits, and since I am involved in several homeschool groups, I have met a large number of homescoolers.
Lastly, if there is any lack of social skills, it's not just because of homeschooling or public schooling. Its all of our life experience that shapes us, not just our method and place of schooling, and all of us, no matter where we were schooled, have to go through a time of adjustment after childhood before we are ready to find our place in the adult world.

Answer 4

I know many homeschooled families. Very few of the kids have questionable social skills. Most are not 'nerdy' like the kid who won the spelling bee. Most are rather easy going, open to new friends and more. A Time article some years back spoke on a little study done by someone at some university where they compared the social behaviour of a group of public schooled teens to a group of homeschooled teens. The homeschooled teens were actually more sociable. They talked with others readily--even though they didn't know them, weren't so focused on same age/same gender, exchanged phone numbers, etc. The public schooled teens, if they knew anybody, only stuck with the kids they knew. If they didn't know anybody, they either didn't talk to others or specifically sought out other same age, same gender people in the group. You tell me--whose social skills were sacrificed by the form of education they had?

Do you think people in the past were not learning vital social and interpersonal skills? Most didn't go to school. The rich in England hired tutors and governesses--the kids still grew up to know all the social skills they needed to have.

We can speculate all we want on homeschoolers' social skills, but without hard numbers, we won't really know. I suspect the homeschoolers with questionable social skills stand out more--I've know people to be surprised to find out my children or other children I know are homeschooled because they have the stigma in their heads that homeschooled children's social skills suffer. Sitting at a playground, how would you tell the difference between the public schooled and the homeschooled child who have similar social skills? And do those social skills have anything to do with where their education is taking place?

Homeschooling itself doesn't sacrifice social skills. Some parents may go about it in a way that does cause problems. Some kids are homeschooled precisely because they already have social skills' issues and need more one-on-one guidance (children on the Aspergers/autistic spectrum, for example). Don't go associating homeschooling with poor social skills when it's not homeschooling itself that determines the outcome, but the choices the parents make and the nature of the child himself.

Btw, I'm a former teacher and my husband still teaches. We know what the social skills of school kids are like. Our homeschooled children are doing just fine.

Answer 5

Children go to school to learn, to get an education. They do NOT go there to better their social skills. However they do learn how to become bullies, snobs and social outcasts.

I homeschool my six year old son and everywhere we go people comment on how advanced his social skills are!

Because the majority of homeschooled children interact with families, neighbours, sporting groups etc they actually have fantastic social skills.

If I was worried my son wasn't receiving the same level of social skills he could aquire at school then I would simply push him up against a wall, knock his books to the ground and steal his lunch money. But as his social skills are better than average...I don't think I need to.

Answer 6

It depends on the families.

Are there no malls?

Are there no playgrounds?

Are there no neighbors?

Are there no bowling alleys or movie theaters?

If a parent wants to isolate a kid, they'll do it with or without brick and mortar schools

Most homeschoolers I hear about are in Little League or Weekend Soccer or Dance or Gymnastics

I currently have ABSOLUTELY no friends left FROM SCHOOL

All my friends were made in the real world or from FRIENDS of FRIENDS in school

My School Friends dissed me years and years ago

Cliques, you know

If you're not into a Clique you are an outcast

Most of my friends in school were either BRAINS or DOPERS

NONE were JOCKS or CHEERLEADERS

The BRAINS divorce you because you didn't become a LAWYER or DOCTOR

The DOPERS divorced you because you didn't get high with them full time

The JOCKS divorce you because you can't handle a football

The CHEERLEADERS divorce you because you don't have a new, red MAZZARATTI

That is reality

AND, by the way, I'm a published author, with TV commercials that ran all over on TV and a music producer with records that got played on commercial stations arond the world.

But, you see, I'm not acceptable to the DOPERS, CHEERLEADERS, JOCKS and BRAINS with those credentials.

AND, by the way, I learned ALL my trades by either HOMESCHOOL or UNSCHOOL, even though I went to brick and mortar school for 14 years

Answer 7

Any child who is isolated from others is sacrificing social skills. However, being home schooled doesn't mean that a child must be socially isolated. Especially as home schooling becomes an increasingly viable option for all types of families, opportunities for networking, not only among parents, but among students, grows daily. Contact your local board of education, or if necessary, your state Board of Education, who can direct you to the home-schooling education association in your area. They have many resources to help you and your child. Just remember that, with both education and social experiences, the key is to focus on the quality of the experience. Sometimes that means quality time with adults, sometimes with kids. Select all these experiences with care.
Good luck!

Answer 8

You are wrong. You stated "...but they have few social skills..." as if quoting documented fact.
My personal experience in two homeschool groups totally over 250 homeschool families, plus being involved in the public schools, plus being involved in a church with a membership of close to 2000, I would say hands down, without a doubt the majority of "well adjusted social kids" belongs to the homeschool group.
BUT I will also add that most of the homeschool kids I know are NOT ANY DIFFERENT THAN ANYONE ELSE.
More times than not, I hear "YOU are homeschooled? I never knew that!"
And something else about homeschool people that I've noticed?
They aren't nearly as judgmental about people that are different. In general, most homeschoolers understand that people are different and it takes different types of situations to bring out the best in people.


So, I'm thinking that not only do homeschoolers NOT sacrifice social skills, they do not sacrifice comassion nor critical thinking, which seems to be lacking in more abundance in the public setting.

Answer 9

I don't think home schooling your children necessarily precludes them from socializing with other children their age and, in the process, developing interpersonal communication skills. They can play with other kids in the neighborhood, or participate in sports or other extracurricular activites for children in the community. You said, "I'm betting it holds true more often than not." Based on what? Popular opinion? A poll? A research study? Every child is different. A child who attends public school can be an introvert and prefer one on one interactions with other kids (like have oneor two best friends) just as easily as a home schooled child can be an extrovert and enjoy playing with a group of kids in the neighborhood.

Answer 10

I think that most home-schoolers have good social skills!
I was homeschooled all 12 grades and I've found that I have friends all across the board.Because I was not in school I was not taught to think that you must be friends with kids your age, so my friend rang from age 8-60 :)

Answer 11

The social skills inherited at school are not really all that applicable in the real world as it is a forced situation and based almost in total on compliance. The home school kids may miss out on experience, but could have a better idea of what they appreciate in other people through observation rather than assimilation. They also will miss out on a really groovy opportunity to start a drug problem!